Season premiere - Grey's Anatomy

In life, grief can look like a lot of things that bear little resemblance to sharp sorrow.

Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.

It isn't just death we have to grieve...it's life...it's loss...it's change.

And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes...has to hurt so bad...the thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.

That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much that you can't breathe. That's how you survive.

By remembering that one day...somehow...impossibly...you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.

Grief comes in it's own time for everyone. In it's own way.

So the best we can do...the best anyone can do...is try for honesty.

The really crappy thing...the very worst part of grief...is that you can't control it.

The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.

And let it go when we can.

The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it...it starts all over again.

And always...every time...it takes your breath away.

There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us but there are always five.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

Yeah...that.

We love you, Grandma Ruby

My Grandma Ruby...my last living grandparent...died late last week. Today is her funeral.

Past family losses have sent me running to find photos so that I could put them together with my memories and the right words...as if posting something here would be make it a proper goodbye.

But Grandma Ruby and I talked on my wedding day fifteen years ago. We had an understanding. Even before dementia robbed her of her memories, we had an understanding.

She knew that I was starting my own family. With a kiss and hug and a brief conversation, she told me she knew that, even though I was linked to her by blood, I was no longer the little girl who was required to do the family Christmas gatherings or the summer vacation visits.

She was my Grandma. I loved her. I respected her. I have missed her for a while now. I will continue to miss her...always.

I don't have any living grandparents. That's a lot to process and there just isn't any goodbye that is proper for this.

Honey, turn on the light

So let me tell you about the time my husband let a strange dog into our house in the middle of the night (last night)...

Every night, Steve goes downstairs at about 4am to let some of the dogs outside. Yes...every night. And he does it to protect me from the injury that would surely occur if I had to wobble my fat self on my bad knees down our wooden staircase in the dark with three or four dogs prancing the I-gotta-pee-dance all around. This is starting to sound like my Dad's I-walked-three-miles-to-school-in-the-snow-barefoot-uphill-both-ways story. But I digress...

So Steve takes three dogs down this morning, lets them out to do their business, lays himself down on the couch and promptly falls asleep. The sounds of barking wake him and he lets the crew in the house and four dogs stampede upstairs.

The commotion wakes me and I realize I have to pee...so I wade through the mass of unusually wiggly dog bodies to the bathroom. I don't put my glasses on or turn on the light, but I can see shapes and sizes by the illumination of the bathroom nighlight. As I sit on the toilet, Thunder, the big black lab who is our newest addition, starts pushing himself between me (on the toilet) and the wall. His giant body doesn't quite fit in the four inches, however, and I ask him, "Thunder, what is wrong with you? What are you doing?"

And then I hear fast and loud panting. Now you'd think this wouldn't be unusual with eight dogs in the house, but none of the eight do that loud panting unless they are really exerting themselves.

I look up and see what can only be described as a chocolate lab.

We don't own a chocolate lab.

I point in the dark and say, "Who's that?"

Steve comes around the corner and says, "Who's who? That's Thunder."

Me...motioning to Thunder who practically pushing me off the seat in his effort to hide behind the toilet now (big scared baby)...

"Uh...no...honey...THIS is Thunder...Turn on the light!"

(click)

Steve...sounding slightly amused and slightly alarmed,

"Cathy...that isn't our dog!"

I seriously can not type anymore because I'm laughing so hard.

#38 & #39 way to change the world

I've been slacking on my little efforts to change the world. Today, I'm revisiting an old one because of this picture... The UNICEF blogger wrote, "It’s easy to forget that these figures are someone’s family members." And they are so right. So please donate now to help children affected by the Philippines floods.

And I don't want to leave out the family here in our own backyard. This week...donate to some place that is helping the flooded residents of Georgia.

Kroger supermarkets are asking customers to help victims of recent flooding by donating money to assist the Salvation Army Georgia Division in providing food, water, clothes, cleaning supplies and other necessities to flood victims.

Customers can give money to benefit the flood victims by "rounding up" their Kroger purchases to the nearest dollar through Saturday. Customers also can make donations at any Kroger in Georgia.

Online Athens

According to the United Way of Metropolitan Atlanta, Faith in Action is taking items such as washers, dryers, refrigerators, sofas, dressers, microwaves, TVs, kitchen tables and chairs, mattresses and box springs that are gently used and in good working order.

Call 770-833-7236
or e-mail gafaithinaction
@aol.com.

West Ridge Church in Dallas is accepting donations of furniture and other household items; call 770-222-2125 ext. 308 or e-mail brittneyf@westridge.com.

For up-to-date information on ways to support flood victims or to find help, call the United Way by dialing 2-1-1 or calling 404-614-1000.

The Furniture Bank of Metro Atlanta also accepts household furniture in good condition.

Call 404-355-8530 ext. 222 or e-mail ddicaprio@furniturebankatlanta.org to arrange a drop off of furniture or a free pickup.

ajc.com

Wonder what's going on?

I've determined that my blog constipation lately is due to the fact that my co-worker is due to give birth on in four days. I still can't deal with it. But for some reason, I can't admit it now in any sort of detail. It makes me feel bitter and small to voice my thoughts on the subject. I feel as though I should somehow be beyond all that. So I don't say anything. I'm crocheting her a baby blanket...so at least I'm not completely becoming an antisocial hermit.

Add to that, Rachel's latest...and I just have nothing coherent to say. Nothing makes sense and I'm feeling the need to retreat from my own thoughts. gah! I bet I'd be fun at a party...if I ever were invited to one.

Time to shake loose the cobwebs and find something POSITIVE to talk about.

So...we're planning a blog get together in November. If you haven't received your invite and are a regular around these parts, drop me a line and I'll consider inviting you. :o)

Did I tell you that Sam has entered the "knock knock" joke phase of childhood. He is absolutely charming telling nonsensical "jokes" that he's made up...and laughing hysterically after each punchline. Of course, being an adult who is tired and cranky, I was reminded that I should find my sense of humor when he asked me, with a hurt look on his face, why I didn't laugh at his jokes. I love that kid.

My boy decided to play soccer again this year. Tonight he played goalie in a game during which TWO goals were scored on him. He did NOT cry...just shrugged his apologetic shrug and told his team, "my bad." hehehe...I wish I could do that more often.

Myles is Myles. Fiercely independent and thoroughly dramatic. Terrible twos here we come.

My brother is getting married on October 10th. My little brother...who said he'd never marry or have kids is getting married and has a baby and a step-son. Ha! Sucker! Welcome to my world! lol!

I need some sleep. It's 11 o'clock and I've not been sleeping terribly well the last few days. So I will curly up on my heavenly king-sized bed and try to think positive thoughts I can share with you tomorrow.

Until then...*mwah* (overly theatrical kiss)

Dogs on Thursday

Museum Day

Just wanted to let everyone know that Saturday is Museum Day. So if you aren't insanely busy like my family this weekend, you can print off a coupon for free admission to a local museum.

Whiskers on Wednesday

If it had all gone according to plan...

...you'd be three years old sweet Travis.

I'm still so sorry.

We love you and miss you.

Perfect Moment Monday

That's not your day

Very pregnant co-worker (formerly new mommy co-worker on this blog) is due on 9/28. She's tired of being pregnant and is planning to beg for induction at her appointment...tomorrow. As if it's not bad enough that I lost Alex and had to live with the sight of her new baby come July 4th. Now she wants to be induced on Travis' due date...

The logical side of my brain says it's just a day...same as any other. The emotional side of my brain (and possibly the softer parts of my heart) wish the world could stop for just one day for just a LITTLE remembrance for the half-baked boy who had my heart but no name when he died.

Naturally I'm spending some time today poking at the old bruises and seeing if they still hurt.

They do.

But I heard this song on the radio during my drive in to work...

So damn easy to say that life's so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars
That I'm alive and well
It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smoulders in the rain
But not me, I'm alive.

And today, you know, that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well.

Stars are dancin' on the water here tonight
It's good for the soul and there's not a soul in sight
This boat has caught it's wind and brought me back to life
Now I'm alive and well.

And today, you know, that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
Now I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well.

...so I'm trying to manage a balance on that razor thin edge...you know the one I'm talking about (I'm glad if you don't).

Please vote!

My Animal Protective League (for which I am on the Board of Directors) needs your help! Please vote for us...EVERY...DAY. A new button will appear on my sidebar shortly.

Click here, search for "Ashtabula County Animal Protective League," and place your vote.

Don't forget! Every day!

Please and thank you!

Perfect Moment Monday

The invoice for my van repair...

Photo Friday - Fear

There's apparently something about a giant swan that terrifies small children. Which is interesting and kinda funny, since it is a ride FOR small children.

#37 way to change the world

Your gift supports our yearlong early education program, providing children at risk of school failure with the support they need to be successful in preschool and ready for life. Last year, our donors helped more than 15,000 children in low-income communities get the "jumpstart" they need today for a brighter tomorrow. You can help us reach more! DONATE HERE

Miscellaneous thoughts

I hate being sick.
The end.
See ya next week.
-----------------------------
OK...so that's not all.

I heard something today to motivated me to write. Garth Brooks was interviewed about where he was eight years ago today. He was in New York. But you know what he said? He said, "The firefighters and police acted so bravely...but...that's their story to tell."

Everyone has a story to tell of that day. No matter how remote they were from the awful events.

Me?

All I can remember is that we (Steve, Princess Holley, and me) were in that very spot a week and a half earlier. That's my story. I think it was about ten days that separated us from the tragedy unfolding on the TV screen.

I have tried not to think about it...the what ifs. As awful as it sounds...I'm thankful for those ten days. That is my story.

No...THIS is my story.

And so today I choose to participate in the National Day of Service by doing administrative stuff for my Animal Protective League. I'm not changing the world by any means...just helping improve my little corner. And they're not human lives...but I'm still trying to save lives.

I hope some day, a long time from now, all the days following those ten days in September will count for something.

And I'm borrowing from Eve's tweet here...

"for today [I] will not dwell on the lives lost before they began, and the futures already underway left unfulfilled."
-----------------------------
Oh! And I MUST tell you about the second grade teacher! Or have I told you already? I'll have to check my archives and see...

So I only told you a bit about her. She sends home WEEKLY reports! She keeps us informed! And when I met her during Open House? She already had Sam's number! Sat him next to the quietest (and sweetest...I secretly hope they marry some day) girl in the entire class and gave him lots of incentive to complete his work. Unfortunately, he got sick and missed two days...losing his "groove." But still! The teacher! I LOVE her! I suppose it didn't hurt her image at all when she told me she knows my son is smart...that she knows that's not the problem. Seriously...LOVE her!
-----------------------------
I still hate being sick.

Dogs on Thursday - Rest Home?

Sunday we brought another old soul into our home and it's caused a bit of confusion for all of us. Samuel is an elderly black lab who looks somewhat like Daisy, our other old black lab. The confusion comes when I use my mom voice and yell, "Samuel!" and everyone yells back, "The boy or the dog?"

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Then there's Myles running around saying, "Daisy! Daisy! Daisy!" And he really does look like Daisy. Except where Daisy looks like she stuck her face in a bag of powdered sugar, Samuel (the dog) looks like he's walked through one.

And his feet! Oh.My.Gosh.His.FEET! They are freakin' HUGE! I think he must be a cross between a black lab and some bigger breed with giant meat-paws.

But he's sooooo sweet. He seems a bit sad and doesn't seem to get excited about much. But he loves to play with the rope toy...and he is definitely a retriever (retrieving anything you throw for him). He knows "sit" and "shake" and is apparently completely housetrained (awesome!).

Samuel (the dog) was at the APL shelter and it was discovered he had a large growth on his neck. The volunteer veterinarian removed the growth and it was biopsied. Thankfully, I found out Tuesday that the growth was benign. Yay!

So...we'll see if Samuel might find himself a good home now that he's got some TLC to help him come out of his shell. He fits in here with all our dogs...so who knows...

Did I just say that? Well...the husband already loves him since he seems to be a "man's dog," so it IS possible I suppose that he might just stay here...we'll see...

Dear Sis

A little treat is on its way to you...I hope you enjoy it.

Please excuse

We have very good reasons for not posting last week's photo challenge, self-portrait, or anything else of much interest. We are sick. Again. Sam started with the wheezing, coughing and throwing up while I suffered a gall bladder attack. Following the 24-hours-from-last-vomit rule, Sam stayed home from school and I drew the short straw to stay home too...where I promptly developed wheezing and coughing (thankfully no throwing up). It has been an absolutely crappy way to usher out the summer. I only hope it is not a harbinger of another nasty winter. Last winter's many many illnesses darn near killed me.

So let's see...

Thursday's photo challenge just happened to come to me a bit late. Not very inspired, but perfect to represent this past weekend...

Self-portrait Saturday and Perfect Moment Monday and Whiskers on Wednesday are not going to happen...I just don't have the energy. I've been sitting on the bed/sofa watching marathons of Ghost Whisperer and Joan of Arcadia. I'm achy and droopy and blah. I hope to be back in action soon.

Miscellaneous thoughts

--------------------------------------------
I just grabbed the nearest object (a little plastic ball) and threw it at my husband's head...and hit him. It's a good thing I wasn't near the pots and pans.
--------------------------------------------
Of all the people my child could be exposed to in the public school system, the President of the United States seems like one of, if not THE, least harmful. What's next? Parents get to approve a teacher's curriculum? "Oh no no no...I don't want little Susie learning about x, y, or z today?" As Sam likes to say...pish posh.

I also have to wonder if there would be all this furor if we were back in the immediate post-911 era and the President was GWB. Respect the President...no...wait...don't. I feel like I'm getting whiplash just trying to keep up with the whims of the American public.
-------------------------------------------
Why do most people have such a desire to believe in the hope of some God and lack such desire to believe in themselves? Why is it so difficult to believe in the power within us as individuals? and as a collective society? What makes that idea so much more preposterous than some all-knowing, all-powerful entity in the sky?
--------------------------------------------
My Crocs sandals arrived. Did you know they're made in China? I swear, the Chinese must laugh at all the weird stuff they sell us crazy Americans.

Anyway I tried them on and I have to say I like them. I'm not entirely in love with them just yet...the little nubbys on the soles of my feet feel really weird. But we'll see.
--------------------------------------------
Dick's Sporting Goods has opted NOT to sell Michael Vick jerseys. Kudos to them!

It just occurred to me that it's not considered ok for the President of the Unitest States to speak to schoolchildren, but it's ok to sell NFL merchandise that represents a convicted felon to schoolchildren. oy! People sure are crazy.
--------------------------------------------
I made a dog bed. I want to sell it to benefit the APL. The store staff have put it in the corner...without a price tag. How do I tactfully express that (1) my feelings were hurt; and (2) I think they could sell it if they displayed it appropriately?

--------------------------------------------
I can now officially list window decorator on my list of lifetime accomplishments.

And I got to USE my Cricut for the first time for the letters on the sign!

--------------------------------------------
No matter how much you know it isn't true, it still hurts when my kid says to me, "Sometimes you act like you don't love me."
--------------------------------------------
Tomorrow is shopping for shower and wedding decorations for my brother's October 10th wedding. My mom, me, and my sister-in-law-to-be (hey, that rhymes)...I hope she doesn't mind our weirdness because that might just be awkward at Thanksgiving and such.
--------------------------------------------
I just about wet my pants laughing while reading this.
--------------------------------------------

Dogs on Thursday - Bookends

(L)Daisy, 13 years old and (R)Rory, 8 years old.
The young one is starting to look more and more like the old one every day.

(Never mind the dusty floors...ack!)

A good laugh

If you're in a bad mood and need a laugh, you should check out The FAIL Blog. Hilarious!

And if you knew about this and didn't tell me...well...you stink. :oP

Whiskers on Wednesday

This is Toni. I call her Toni baloney. She's our "old cat" at about, we guess, 15 years of age. She was a stray that had moved into my parents' garage and wouldn't leave...until Steve and I stopped by one evening. When I sat down, she immediately climbed in my lap and curled up...so she HAD to come home with us.

I remember when we brought her home...our dog, Isaac, was none too thrilled. At first, he would chase her all around. But we knew it was all an act when we caught them sleeping curled up together one day. I know she misses him a lot. Today she barely tolerates the other animals in the house...a feeling I share on some days.

Thank you Arthur

Arthur is the nice customer service rep at my insurance company who informed me, while Sam was wheezing in my other ear, that my retail limit has been reached and I am supposed to refill "maintenance medications" through the mail and not at retail stores...in order to "maximize benefits."

It just would have been nice if someone had told me...you know...in advance of the asthma attack.

Thankfully, Arthur completely understood that I work for county government and therefore relevant information isn't necessarily shared...and put through a one-time "exception"...that will be ready in 24 hours. Yeah...I know. But that's "the best they can do" and I just have to understand (as I watch my son turn blue).

All this to maximize benefits.

Breathing is a pretty significant benefit, don't you think?

Yeah...me too.

And you know what maximized benefits mean? An inhaler...that costs $41...insurance covers $21 of it. I've refilled TWICE ALL YEAR. So I can certainly see where there might be significant savings by not allowing me to refill them at retail prices. I mean sheesh...I just might bankrupt the whole dang company!

I honestly contemplated saying, "I have two kids that don't breathe...they're really not as much fun as those that do...so I'd like to keep the breathing ones...you know...breathing."

I really should have.

**(Sam did not expire. The attack was soccer-induced and relatively minor...and because I love my control, I always have a backup inhaler.)**

UPDATE:
Exception denied. They'll put it through to a higher decision-making authority and they may possibly grant it. So that's another 24 hours.

The online forms have been filled out. IF approved, the medication should SHIP in 10-14 DAYS.

Guess Sam is supposed to just hold his breath until then.

Perfect Moment Monday

Seasons change

Summer's over and I can honestly say that this summer was the first in a long line of summers that I have truly enjoyed without a shadow of sadness hanging over me. This is the first year in four years that I have felt just a little sad pulling my fall jacket out of the closet for my morning drive to work. The "experts" were right...it took four years to incorporate my grief into my life and find a way to happiness again.

Wow. I don't mind saying that it leaves me a bit bewildered/disoriented...to realize that all that crap happened...to US...and we survived and are quite happy with life right now.

Just...Wow.

And yet...it's September again. Due dates and unrealized dreams. Sounds like a bad B movie, doesn't it?

And so I busy myself with some online housekeeping...moving forward to maintain my grasp on that lovely summertime happiness.

I apologize to those whose blogs I can't read anymore. I have found that it is healthier for me to not subscribe to blogs about pregnancy and/or loss. I take a dip into those waters on the days I feel strong enough to handle it...but it has to be a purposeful decision. Having Google Reader give me "big news" of pregnancy or loss without proper warning is just too much of an invitation for the darkness to intrude again. So I hide. Please know it doesn't reflect how I feel about you...I wish only the best for you. I just need to function this way for now. (OK...so maybe I haven't incorporated it ALL as well as I'd like...but I'm working on it.)

I made a little survey of my blog archives and have found there are things I've posted that I wished I hadn't...and things I didn't that I wish I did. I'm particularly embarassed by all the "scheduled" things I wanted to post but never really did but one or two entries for each...Mutt Monday...Perfect Moment Monday...Whiskers on Wednesday...Thursday Challenge...Photo Friday...My 52 self-portraits. My 52 self-portrais is particularly disappointing, since another year will pass with only a handful of photos of me to pass on to my boys. Yes, I still think that way a lot. I can't help it...you just never know.

So anyway...I'm going to buck the trend and start up some regular items right now. Yes, I know it's the last day of August and these things traditionally start at the beginning of the year. But clearly I don't follow New Year's resolutions or I'd be a size 2, fluently speak several languages, have a clean house and all my crafty works-in-progress would actually be completed.

Take #563926...introducing the following regular items to appear here (with a little luck)...

~Perfect Moment Monday
~Whiskers on Wednesday
~Dogs on Thursday
~Photo Friday/PhotoHunt (depending on what mood strikes)
~Self-Portrait Saturday

Now that summer has passed us by, I have lots and lots of stuff to write about.

Sam luckily was assigned to the second grade teacher we were told is the "better" teacher for keeping kids focused. I think that means she's stricter...which is exactly what Sam needs. I'm already somewhat impressed because he came home from the first day of school with an entire folder of information for us to read. Though the first week passed without the promised behavior report, at least I'm not guessing about policies and procedures in her class. Sadly, Sam is already struggling with his work habits this year. He only finished his classwork on two of the four days last week. When asked about it, his immediate response was, "I wasn't talking." So...we're going to have to work on this some more I suppose. Thursday is the open house, so I hope to talk to the teacher about it at that time. Wish me luck.

This week brings Sam's first soccer practice for the season. He SAID he didn't want to play after last season because he "stinks" at soccer. But then the application came in the mail and we were pleasantly surprised when he decided he wanted to play after all. Soccer really isn't his sport...but it gets him out from in front of the TV and the video games (and gives me a couple hours each week for "me time") so I'm not going to complain.

Saturday is shopping day! I'm going to ditch the boys and spend the day with my mom doing some shopping for my brother's upcoming wedding in October. Kind of weird situation there...after doing my sister's wedding reception flowers and vowing never to do them again, mom and I are shopping for wedding reception flowers my soon-to-be-sister-in-law...who doesn't really even talk to me all that much. I have a basic color scheme to work with and that's about it. We invited her to join us but she declined. Should be interesting. Maybe I should warn her that we aren't really as trustworthy as maybe she thinks we are? lol!

In completely unrelated news...I never got my mom's costume done in time for this summer's medieval faire. She's asked me if I can get it done by September 12th for an event she's participating in. I foolishly said yes. Better find more time to sew this week. ack!

I think that's about it for now. Here's to more blogging!

#32 - #35 ways to change the world

So I've slacked off a lot during August and I didn't want you to miss anything good...so here are my August 2009 Ways to Change the World. In honor of our belated birthday trip to the zoo, I'm focusing on the monkeys/apes/orangutans.

#32 way to change the world

LUSH Cosmetics and WSPA working together for orangutans

With...a coupon!
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#33 way to change the world

Buy a gorilla carving.

Alternative solutions...I love this way of thinking. It's not easy...but it can be successful.
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#34 way to change the world

Get classroom kids involved and buy an egg.

Three dollars...this one is so easy you just can't NOT do it.
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#35 way to change the world

Jane Goodall Institute of Canada...

Become a chimp guardian.

Make a tribute or memorial gift.
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Great Trade-In Event

Trade in your used car seat, stroller, travel system, crib, high chair, playard or bassinet and receive 20% off your purchase of any of these items new.

From Friday, August 28 through Sunday, September 20, Babies"R"Us and Toys"R"Us stores nationwide are holding the "Great Trade-In" event, providing our customers the opportunity to trade-in any used cribs, car seats, bassinets, strollers, travel systems, playards or high chairs in exchange for a 20% savings on the purchase of any new baby item, in any of these product categories, from select manufacturers.

The "Great Trade-In" event places an emphasis on specific baby products, such as cribs and car seats that, due to safety concerns, may not be the best candidates to be handed down or resold. Beyond recalls, certain older and used baby items can be potentially unsafe for a variety of reasons, including damage or lack of compliance with recent advances in product safety standards.

Visit your local Babies"R"Us or Toys"R"Us store to trade-in your used crib or baby product. Day care centers or other organizations who wish to exchange items in bulk are encouraged to contact their local Babies"R"Us or Toys"R"Us store prior to returning their used items to ensure adequate availability of new merchandise.

For more information or to find a store near you, please visit www.toysrus.com.

Zoo day thoughts

At the risk of repeating myself...here are a few of the major themes from today's trip to the zoo...

The big kid lost his first tooth on Thursday, so I will forever remember that his "birthday trip to the zoo" wasn't actually ON (or even NEAR) his birthday.

"Stop it."

Crappy $10 sunglasses purchased at the zoo can POSSIBLY cause you so smack someone in the zoo gift shop when you try to return them because the screw fell out leaving your seven-year-old crying in the sunshine at the bottom of a very large hill because "...my glasses broke and I can't seeeeeeeee..." and the gift shop lady accuses you of dropping them and trying to return "broken merchandise."

"Stop it."

In the beginning, every animal is "Loo" to a 21-month old at the zoo for the first time. "Loo" being Luna, one of our horses. At the end of the day, all big birds (ostriches, flamingos, eagles, etc) are all "moo." "Moo" being EMU...seen at the Australian exhibit.

"Stop it."

I understand if you're on a date to the zoo and you think the world revolves around you and your love. But please, do not stand in front of my children at the monkey exhibit...or I just might give them permission to bite the back of your kneecaps.

"Stop it."

No matter how exciting the monkeys may be playing in their cages, the big rubber balls they have as toys are way more exciting. "BALL! BALL! BAAAALLLLL!!!"

"Stop it."

The older child has lost weight over the last year because he's grown taller. So if he wants two or three push pops and complains of STILL being hungry, feed him. Everyone will be happier...I promise.

"Stop it."

Socks and shoes on.
Socks and shoes off.
Socks and shoes on.
Socks and shoes off.
Socks and shoes on.
Socks and shoes off.
Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.

"Stop it."

No matter how well I think I know my children, they still surprise me sometimes. I was CERTAIN Myles wouldn't like the Dinosaur exhibit. He LOVED it!

"Stop it."

"Be careful mommy, that dinosaur spits water at you." I'm not sure whether that was actually said in warning or more in anticipation of the hilarity that would be mommy getting squirted with water by a dinosaur.

"Stop it."

If the older kid sighs and rolls his eyes at me one more time, I might have to kill him.

"Stop it."

What do you think?

I think Zip is fitting in just fine around here.

August 8th

Almost forgot...and I need to write this down so I don't forget...

Took Myles to Toys R Us for the very first time on August 8th. He was so excited it was really quite fun. Of all the expensive toys available, a $1.50 rubber ball was the highlight of the trip.

Sam was wuite a bit more expensive....with a $14.99 nerf blaster and a $19.99 Halloween costume (Bumblebee the Transformer).

huh?

Me: Sam, take this bag of school supplies upstairs and put it away.

Sam: Do I have to do it now?

Me: Yes.

Sam: Can't I just set it on the stairs for later when I go up there.

Me: Sure.

One minute later...I see the bag on the stairs and the lights on upstairs.

Me: Sam?

Sam: Yeah?

Me: Sam...are you upstairs?

Sam: Yeah.

Me: You mean you went upstairs and left this bag of stuff here ON the stairs?

Sam: I'm sorry...you SAID I could do it later.

oy!

Yesterday I cried

And today there is no coffee in the office, so this post is going to suck. I've tried to come up with creative ways to tie subjects in my head together into a neat little post for the internet...but I just can't do it. So here's the raw, un-pretty version of completely unrelated events that have recently happened. And no, Rach, I'm NOT pregnant...but thank you for scaring me into counting the days for my own sanity sake. I was just tired from a weekend of volunteering and travelling and picnic-ing in the summer heat. I cried for the reasons I'll explain now...
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The staff was all gathered in the lobby, so I new something was up immediately. Closing time at the animal shelter can lead to these kinds of group talks, but not often. Most days, the staff have worked so hard all day that they are ready to leave as soon as the clock strikes quittin' time. But today was different. Today, three dogs would die at their hands...the hands of strangers. Now I'm not going to debate euthanasia here, because in these particular cases euthanasia was the right thing to do. But it still made me immeasurably sad...and I cried because I had seen him...the day they brought him in after escaping a Sheriff's deputy bullet...the husky who, according to his owner who relinquished him to us, was left to sit in a pen for five days at a time until he went crazy and broke out and killed a dozen of the neighbors chickens...now so aggressive it took a dozen tranquilizers to get him calm enough to handle...for the end of his life.

They couldn't even pay him one last visit...because it "would be too much." They did this to him. And he dies in the arms of strangers because they are to cowardly to face what they have done to him. And I cried...but not until the gathering in the lobby had dispersed. Even though I know they cried too.
------------------------------------
And then my baby came home and showed me his smile with a gap where a tooth had once been. His first tooth to fall out. The tooth fairy brought him a dollar coin...one of the new ones with the face of a dead president on them. He wants to keep the tooth and I think maybe we're both having a little trouble with this growing up thing...with letting go of the baby-hood.
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I actually said to someone..."Sometimes it's not about the amount of money you spend or the amount of money you can win...sometimes it's just about doing the right thing." As soon as the words were out of my mouth I couldn't believe I had said them. I'm no optimist and I'm certainly not naive like I used to be. So where the hell did that come from? I miss that girl and it's kind of nice to know at least some small part of her still lurks inside of me somewhere.
------------------------------------
Tired of my stream of consciousness yet? I am.
------------------------------------

Miscellaneous thoughts

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I was trying to convince a photographer friend of mine to participate in NIMLDTS when I realized I should put my money where my mouth is. So...I've become a digital retouch artist for NILMDTS. Keep your fingers crossed that I can do it. It's not done without paying an emotional toll...no matter how "well adjusted" I may be.
------------------------------------------
I've been working on sewing projects with my beautiful new serger. Here's a shirt I made to wear in the 90 degree 90% humidity.
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If you read only one blog post this week...make it this one.
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It wasn't the gluten after all. Though I've never felt better and plan to still eat gluten free (for the most part), the skin rash on my hand was a plain old allergic reaction. I won't tell you what it was...because it's embarassing. No...it was not THAT...get your minds out of the gutter!

This exercise has proven, once again, that Dr. Google can be a curse and a blessing. But it has also proven that I CAN stick to a diet...so no more excuses.
------------------------------------------
Last year, my husband's company offered free school supplies. The pickings were slim, but we were grateful for every little bit of help. This year, Sam got a bag of school supplies that should last him through the entire year. 36 ink pens...I don't think he's even allowed to use ink pens in second grade.
------------------------------------------
My amazing husband got a promotion! He is now an old guy with "Senior" in his job title. I'm so proud of him. At least one of us is going places in our career.
------------------------------------------
Speaking of my career...I've got some complaining to do about mine...mainly about the feeling that, when it really comes down to brass tacks, my boss won't be there to back me up. I wonder why I bother doing what I do if it's not worth the effort to him. It seems like a waste of my time and his. Maybe it's time to seriously look elsewhere. (insert whine about how much I hate the job search thing)
------------------------------------------
No diamonds for my anniversary. *sigh* But I guess since I've got an amazing husband and two beautiful kids I'll ignore the oversight...this time. lol!
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Furloughed

What a nice word. Furlough.

While the public rants and raves about how much they spend in taxes...and my clients rant and rave because I don't have enough time to get to all their problems...I get an unpaid day off.

Five, actually.

I'm glad they're unhappy. Serves them all right.

And while my paycheck will be a little lighter, so will my daycare bill.

And...I get to sew today.

See ya later!

Politics

Does anyone else find this photo funny? Look closely.
I mean really...flowers on the rug? That just makes me giggle.

#31 way to change the world

Pets Alive is an amazing rescue that has helped my APL tremendously this past month. They have taken several of our animals and found them foster and forever homes so that we did not have to euthanize any animals.

One Meaning is a very cool company designing jewelry with one meaning...“I love you”...8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning

This month (August) the two join forces. One Meaning has chosen Pets Alive as their charity of the month. And in keeping with the One Meaning message, 8.13% of the sales of their adorable pet tags will go to Pets Alive.

Tags are stainless steel with embedded black enamel design and they come in small (1 1/4”) for cats and small / medium dogs or large (2”) for big dogs. $10 Large / $8 Small (Collars not included)

Miscellaneous thoughts

I'm slightly disturbed that Blogger now has a Facebook style "reaction" gadget I can add to my posts. People no longer need to even string two words together in a comment...just hit a button that says "interesting" or "funny" or "I'm a lazy a$$ and can't think of anything original to say in a comment so I'm just clicking this stupid button."
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Speaking of which...

It seems I'm limited to two distinct types of communication lately. Short Twitter-like statements OR what my sixth-grade teacher, Mrs. Stanley, used to call verbal diarrhea. (And yes, I am quite impressed that I know how to spell diarrhea correctly...spellcheck verified and I did a little happy dance because, YAY, I'm smarter than I thought I was!) Anyway...this is my problem. Nice problem to have, right?

Honestly, I've been doing. That's right DOING. More than I've done in YEARS. Sewing. Volunteering. Working (my boss will be so pleased). Connecting with friends. The summer is here and it's filled with fresh blackberries straight from the vine (oh, ok, not STRAIGHT from the vine...we have animals...I washed them before eating), water gun battles, picnics on the front porch that were taken indoors to escape the killer mosquitos, sunshine until 9:30pm, beautiful dark pink and purple sunsets, laughter, adventures and love.

I heard something on Guiding Light the other day (yes, the soap opera...don't be so judgmental) that really resonated with me. If you're spending so much time trying to take it all in, recording it so you can recall it later, then you're not really experiencing it. Maybe that's why I blogged so much during the time the grief was so bad...so I wouldn't have to experience it all...so it's edges were dulled by the recording and sharing. Who knew?!?! Real life lessons on soap operas! Cool!
-----------------------------------
Anyway...this summer has been a lot of Myles climbing on everything. And yes, of course there are pictures.

But the cutest is when he climbs up on top of his big brother and "attacks" him. It's really adorable the way he cries a war-cry and then growls like a ferocious beast. It makes me laugh every time. And Sam, bless his heart, says, "No baby," and laughs with me.
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As we knew he would be, Sam is an amazing big brother. He does get frustrated every now and then, but we've tried to teach him to find the humor in Myles' annoying habits and it seems to keep him on an even keel for the most part. Despite "hating soccer," he has recently announced he wants to play soccer again in the fall. I look at it as guaranteed crochet time.
-----------------------------------
The whole family is currently preparing to say goodbye to our friend, Daisy Mae. She's had a bad spell here the last few days and, while she's feeling better right now, she probably isn't long for this world. It's an important lesson for all of us. I brought her home because she's old and "unadoptable" and I didn't want her to die alone in the animal shelter. So we'll love her as long as we can...and then we'll wish her peace and hope to see her again in another life.
-----------------------------------
Last week I had lunch with a friend from high school (and elementary school before that). It was nice. A little weird being adults together now since I know all her "growing up stuff" and she knows all of mine. It was followed by immediate insecurity on my part. Did I sound like a bitter old lady? A complete dork?

Imagine the chuckle I got when she sent me an email apologizing for being nervous and "not the best conversationalist."

Now I remember why we've been such good friends for so long.
-----------------------------------
I have discovered I will never be a really great boss. I just can't deal with the tough stuff like discipline and firing. I'm a member of a board of directors that is currently dealing with the realities of having employees who "just don't work out." It's not fun for anyone.
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#30 way to change the world - Sprinkles

Fighting malnutrition in Guatemala with "Sprinkles" :: U.S. Fund for UNICEF - UNICEF USA

Posted using ShareThis

Forgiveness and hero worship...just the facts

"Everyone fortunate enough to be part of the league is held to a standard of conduct higher than that generally expected in society and is correspondingly accountable when that standard of conduct is not met."
~NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell
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Let's take a look at what that higher standard offers the rest of us...the people who DO follow the law...
------------------------------------------------
The 2000 Super Bowl featured 13 convicted criminals.

21 percent (more than one in five) of NFL players have arrest records and have been charged with at least one serious crime, including two murder arrests, seven rape charges, 45 counts of domestic violence and 42 charges of assault and battery.

Only ONE NFL team owner refuses to employ criminals on his team.

In April 1997, the St. Louis Rams selected Ryan Tucker in the fourth round of the NFL draft. At the time, Tucker was awaiting trial for an assault that left the victim paralyzed and brain-damaged.

Byron "Bam" Morris missed a meeting with his probation officer and Ravens owner Art Modell tried to get the absence excused based on "complex nature of his position with the [Ravens] club." Yes, that's right...we had football practice and couldn't go to a meeting with his PROBATION OFFICER.

Patrick Bates was charged with assaulting his pregnant girlfriend and, three weeks after the baby was born, kidnapping the child and beating the mother with a gun.

Cornelius Bennett was charged with rape, sodomy, sexual abuse and unlawful imprisonment.

In 1998, Susan Gutweiler, wife and mother, was killed by St. Louis Rams’ defensive end Leonard Little while Little was driving drunk. And despite claiming the horror and guilt of the accident caused him to attempt suicide, he was subsequently arrested for DWI in 2004.

Ray Lewis - testified against his "friends" in exchange for the dismissal of murder charges.

Jamal Lewis - cocaine (for distribution, I believe)

Adam Jones - assaulted a woman (who is conveniently referred to as "a stripper" in most accounts of the story)

Tank Johnson - carrying a concealed weapon and assault of a police officer

Andre Rison - failure to pay child support to the tune of $100,000+

Donte Stalworth, drunk and driving, hit and killed husband and father Mario Reyes, 59. Stalworth is currently not playing.

Michael Vick.
------------------------------------------------
I've heard and seen reports where people say, "Do you know how many convicted criminals are in the NFL who have done way worse than Vick?" Yes...yes I do. That doesn't comfort me in the slightest.

I've also heard and seen reports where people say, "He's served his debt to society, it serves no purpose to keep him off the football field." Sure it would. Give him a job in a local animal shelter for minimum wage. Let him see how WE, out here in NORMAL society, live with the remains of what he did...what others like him do. He's a convicted felon...treat him like one. How many convicted felons do you know get to return to their pre-incarceration positions of trust and power? But I guess all is forgiven because this guy can run with a football. An irreplaceable talent, for sure.

Michael Vick admitted to soaking a female dog (who had lost a fight) with water and helping to electrocute her. She was completely innocent and defenseless. And yet I'm somehow supposed to care about HIS "right" to earn a living in his chosen profession? I'm supposed to buy his number on a jersey for my child to wear? I'm supposed to drop my $30 on a ticket to be entertained while watching him play a game?

"I do recognize that some will never forgive him for what he did," Goodell said. "I hope that the public will have a chance to understand his position as I have."

His position? He's a lousy human being...but he's a money-maker. Same as all those other criminals who run around on the field with a football for our entertainment. They are awful people who make a lot of money for a select group of people. That's all this is about. And making people worship these guys...that's the true irreplaceable talent.

#29 way to change the world

Debra's Garden US Needle Gauge Pendant for Animal Rescue.

LOVE IT!

Not as young as I used to be

Last night, Steve went with Sam and the Cub Scouts to a camp-out at the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo.

I sewed for a while (photos pending) and then stayed up until 4am and watched a marathon of DVRed episodes of Raising the Bar (while eating a mountain of candy).

I've only ever had one or two (well-deserved) hangovers in my life.

This is worse.

Not quite as good as travelling to BlogHer or ComicCon (I'm not certain I would survive either of those events at the rate I seem to be aging)...but fun nonetheless.

Now somebody PLEASE pass the coffee.

Crafter overload

I'm gettin' the itch again. I was at an outlet mall last weekend and there was a scrapbooking store and I found the BEST stuff for my boys' scrapbooks. Now I just have to GET TO IT!

I still get emails from Archiver's. And they have an ad out now for ScrapFest 2009! Oh, how I would love to go... (the wheels are turning in my brain now)

And today I run across the A Crop for All Seasons, Ohio Scrapbook Retreat and I think, "Why didn't I think of that?!?!" What a cool idea!!!

I have multiple sewing and crocheting projects going on right now. So I'm going to have to finish some of them before I break out the scrapping in earnest. I'm still bummed that the 'first year" digital book I did for Myles is on the old computer that won't boot up (must remember to get that looked at and see if stuff can be recovered).

Current crochet projects include:
~a Christmas gift for Mom that I'm not sure I'll have done for Christmas
~a baby blanket for my co-worker's baby due in September
~some snowflakes for the Christmas tree (supposed to be a snowflake a week and I'm WAY behind)

Current sewing projects include:
~the long awaited new medieval faire costume for mom (planned in 2006...FINALLY started in 2008...will be done within the next three weeks...I swear)
~a couple new shirts and dresses for myself

Expanding vocabulary

There comes a day when you're sitting in a restaurant and your baby starts hollering, "Pooooooooop! Pooooooooop!"

And there comes another day when everything becomes, "mine! MINE! miiiiiiiinnnnnnne!"

What a thrill, this language development.

No increased psychological risk for subsequent child

Stillbirth Not an Issue for Next-Born
No increased psychological risk for subsequent child: study

FRIDAY, July 10 (HealthDay News) -- Children born after their mother has a stillbirth aren't at increased risk for psychological problems, according to a British study.

Stillbirth can cause serious mental stress for parents, and some research had suggested that a child born after a stillbirth may be psychologically vulnerable, according to background information in a news release about the study.

The study included 52 first-time mothers whose previous pregnancy had ended in stillbirth and 51 first-time mothers who hadn't experienced stillbirth. The mothers were followed from pregnancy until their children were 6 to 8 years old.

The researchers found no significant differences between the two mother/child groups in terms of child cognitive or health assessments, or in teacher-rated child difficulties. However, mothers who had suffered a stillbirth were more critical of their children and reported more child difficulties, in particular problems with their peers.

"Whether this was because previous loss of a child renders some mothers more sensitive to aspects of their children's behavior that cause them concern, or whether there is real variation in the child's behavior is unclear," study lead author Dr. Penelope Turton of St. George's University of London, said in the news release.

The study was published July 8 in The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.

"We are continuing to follow this group of mothers and children and will follow up again once the children reach adolescence," Turton said.

"This type of study is very important in helping midwives, health visitors and doctors to provide psychological care for both parents after a stillbirth and in the next pregnancy; while the severity of grief usually diminishes over the first one to two years, some mothers continue to experience more intense or prolonged grief and we need to know what long-term effects this can have," she added.

More information
The March of Dimes has more about coping with pregnancy and newborn loss.

-- Robert Preidt

SOURCE: The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, news release, July 8, 2009

Good to know.

Dear Mom ~

Love you!

#28 way to change the world

Hi, I just dedicated a page to my Aunt & Uncle, Jonette & Harold Boggs at LIVESTRONG Action.

This page is a part of the world's largest dedication book that LIVESTRONG Action will use to pressure world leaders to do more to fight cancer.

Can you add your name to my dedication page? It'll only take a second, it doesn't cost a dime, and you can help me reach my target of 25 dedications.

Please sign HERE.

Thanks!

#27 way to change the world

After taking a week off for the holiday, I had this all set and ready to go...and then I forgot to post it. oops!

I've been dealing with something relatively big lately and I'm ready to talk about it a little bit now.

Those of you who pay attention to my blogroll may have noticed I have added a bunch of "gluten free blogs." It's a not-too-interesting story how it all came about, but the gist is, I am now eating a gluten free diet because I think I may suffer from Celiac disease.

See...I've watched my mother struggle with "weird" symptoms all my life. It seems as though she's had one diagnosis after another, without any of them really "fitting."

And then things started to get weird for me. I started having strange symptoms just before I became pregnant with Myles that have continued to really bother me. My hair falls out by the handful...I can't concentrate on anything...I feel sick whenever I eat...I have pain in my joints...I am so anemic I couldn't give blood...I have repeatedly tested high white blood cell counts for no reason...I have this weird, non-spreading ITCHY rash on my right hand and inside my elbow on my left arm.

One day, I happened upon this post and I was compelled to read every word Shauna has written. She is an amazing writer and I <3 her blog. But more importantly as it relates to this story, her blog raised my curiosity about Celiac disease...gluten intolerance...heck...GLUTEN. I had some vague recollection of these words, but never really paid them any attention.

And then I read the list of symptoms. Pretty generalized list...could be just about any other illness. In fact, Celiac is often misdiagnosed as a host of other illnesses with similar symptoms. Something clicked into place when I read the symptom of "Skin disorders (dermatitis herpetiformis)." I Googled and...well...found myself staring back at me.

Yep...I initially thought it was poison ivy (I'm highly allergic and have pets that do go outdoors). Then when it didn't go away, I thought I was allergic to my crochet hooks and changed to "natural" hooks. But that still didn't seem to fix the problem. And the itch...I can not describe to you what this is like. I have never experienced an itch like this. Oh wait...yes, I have...and I have the blog entries to prove it (I won't bore you with the links). After reading through my archives, I noted that I've been getting the SAME rash in the SAME spot for the last THREE YEARS now...and I chalked it up to poison ivy each and every time. Three years running...SAME SPOT. I mean, really...do I need someone to club me upside the head with an obvious stick?

So now that I've self-diagnosed...maybe I should see a doctor, right? Well...not necessarily...

The current prevailing theory is that if you have DH, you have Celiac. Of course, the only way to definitively diagnose is with intestinal biopsy. You may be able to diagnose with skin biopsy near your rash area, but still...BIOPSY...a word I'm not such a big fan of in the theoretical sense (and I'm sure I would be even less of a fan of in actual practice). AND...the only way to treat Celiac is to eat gluten free. That's it. Something I could do on my own without having to be poked and prodded.

So...I tried it. And guess what? Yep. No more itchy. And I FEEL AMAZING!

I've now been mostly gluten free for about a month. The few times I've slipped (pizza is a big weakness for me), I have paid for it with an intensely itchy outbreak three days later. I've only recently sworn off even the occasional pizza after an encounter with Pizza Hut. Seriously thought I might have to cut my hand off in order to get some relief.

Here's the thing...it's not just that the itch is gone. My brain is clear and I can function again. Focus. Accomplish things I really want to accomplish. My whole life I have never had a good memory. People talk about memories they have from years back (at which I was reportedly present) and it was like I wasn't even there. There was a big blank. Heck, a lot of time, I couldn't even remember yesterday. Lately, I've blamed grief and/or possibly depression, but when I really think about it I have to admit that I've always been this way. Finding it could be due to something as simple as what I was eating...it was a relief and a serious blow all at the same time. You see...I love food. I love all types of food. How in the world was I going to do this forever if this was, in fact, my problem?

Thank goodness for the internet and a heightened awareness in our society of food induced reactions (autoimmune and allergic). It's actually been wonderful. Yes, it's somewhat difficult because I can't just absentmindedly grab something to eat anymore. But the results have been SOOOO worth it. And, like most things in life these days, there are blogs...and webpages...and people to talk to for support. This past weekend I found a support group for Erie, PA, and they told me that Boston's has a new gluten free pizza. So we took a little trip and it was pizza...REAL pizza...and it was good! And there is gluten free beer...and it's GOOD TOO!

I'm sure there will be commenters who question and/or criticize. Maybe it IS all in my head. But honestly, I don't care if it's all in my head because my itch is gone and I am so incredibly happy about it that I don't care that common sense seems to have left the building. Whatever. I'll take it.

So...my good cause for this week is The Celiac Disease Foundation. Why? Because their website has been an amazing source of information for me and I respect their work in raising awareness.

That's it. My current life "issue." Not the first...not the last (with any luck)...and not very exciting. My next entries will be crafty, I think...just for counterbalance on the 'interesting' meter.

Frugal Friday

I'm back to shopping some deals this week...just because there were some deals that were too good to pass up.

Rite Aid

Natural Instincts haircolor
Crest toothpaste
27ct Pampers
2 Sally Hansen Hard as Nails
Anti Monkey Butt Powder

$25.03 out of pocket
$6.75 saved
$13 in rebates coming

CVS

2 27-count Pampers

$5.57 out of pocket
$19.00 saved

Giant Eagle

Hot dog buns
Wheat free waffles
Cinnamon toast waffles
Seattle's Best coffee beans
Hot Dogs
Corn tortillas
Shredded cheddar
6 yoplait yogurt
2 Easy mac
Transformers M&M's
6 mentos gum

$30.19 out of pocket
$15.06 saved

Joann's

3 skeins Bernat Baby coordinates
Vogue Knitting: Crocheted Hats book
2 Butterick patterns
2+ yards Rose print fleece

$20.20 out of pocket
$36.25 saved

Kmart

Kotex tampons
Edge shave gel
Reach dental floss
3 Lysol cleaners
3 boxes ziploc bags
2 64-ct Huggies wipes
Box Pampers
Mighty Dog variety pack
Heinz ketchup
2 Easy mac
3 Chef Boyardee
11oz Folgers
2 100-ct boxes Splenda
2 Oscar Meyer bologna

$51.57 out of pocket
$34.43 saved

Check out my new widget--->

If you've got some spare change, our Animal Protective League could use it!

The shelter was closed to the public for almost three weeks during the month of June due to a small outbreak of Parvo. During that time, we had zero dog adoptions...which means a full shelter and no money coming in. So even if you've got a dollar or two...we would gladly accept it. Just click on the little widget.

Because I know someone will ask...sadly, we lost two litters of puppies and one adult dog to the virus. But thankfully, we were able to bleach the heck out of the place and it didn't spread like if often does in shelters.

Now we just need to find some decent homes for (all of) our doggies.

Dear crochet friends

Because I always like to share a good deal...

Interweave's Hurt Book Sale.

Everybody loves fashion

First, Myles "helped" me sew.
Then they both tried on shoes.
And finally, the dress that I can't wear for a zillion self-deprecating reasons. (Pay no mind to the hair...I've been sewing and have had no time to think about it.)

Official old age

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You know you're old when...

...you are excited about buying an adult sized padded toilet seat.

...you do a happy dance because you can get a baby sized padded toilet seat on clearance for two dollars.
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Much stitching and sewing going on this weekend...must get back to it (after some ice cream, I think). I hope to have pictures of a couple finished projects tomorrow evening (I know you can hardly stand the suspense, right?).
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Thank you Shinny!

The future of the old laptop is still in question. I hope it can be saved, because I had some GREAT shots from Cedar Point that I'd hate to lose.

The amazing Shinny came through with a few shots that I wanted to share so you wouldn't think I was making it all up in my head (I know you think I do that sometimes).

Myles after the poop incident. Yes, I was the mom walking her diaper-clad baby through the park after changing his poopy butt on a park bench. And yes, he walked around the rest of the day without pants. Don't judge me...it was Steve's fault.

Sam on a mini kids version of the Tower of Power.

Myles and me on the merry-go-round...Myles' first official ride.

Sam entertaining the crowds with his snoopy dance. There is video somewhere...but this raises that ugly question of how much embarassment is too much for the kid of a blogger.

Sam on a train ride...he's having fun...really.

Cheesy smiles all around...



Proof the boy was there too.



It was a lovely time and Steve's already thinking we need to invade Shinny's house so we can visit their amusement park (Six Flags?). I'm not sure I'm ready for an 8 hour drive with this crew. Maybe if he drives and I take tranquilizers it just might work.

Where I embarass everyone (without pictures)

It all started with my saying, "I need a serger," and Shinny offering to give me one. When I read that I thought, "Wow! She's crazy." Of course, a little crazy didn't stop me from then proceeding to make plans to meet up with her at Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio. Hey...a serger is a serger...definitely worth risking the possibility of being hacked up into pieces.

So yeah...I met Shinny! And she is as awesome in person as she is in my magic computer world...actually...she's more awesome in person (and not just because she was willing to give me a serger).

It's always a balancing act when I take the family to these kinds of things. Sam's at the age where he doesn't quite want to go on the big kid rides and Myles isn't big enough to ride any rides. The Boy came with Shinny...with the express purpose of riding the big kid rides with my husband...how nice is that?!?! I hope he didn't think we were too lame (he's 15). Steve said, "The Boy isn't a man of many words." They apparently spent a good deal of time just staring at each other. lol! I do have proof that it was all an act though...

(insert goofy picture of The Boy here)

But thankfully, Shinny didn't mind entertaining Myles...A LOT...

(insert cute picture of Shinny and Myles)

And Sam was able to ride a bunch of little kid rides...

(insert cute pictures of Sam riding rides)

We did talk both Sam and Shiny onto a real "big" roller coaster...

(insert picture of Shinny, The Boy, Sam, and Steve on the Blue Streak roller coaster...Shinny is making a funny scared face)

Yeah...she looks terrified...but she survived...AND managed to not pee her pants...lol.

I came home to dogs out of their crates and my stash of "good yarn" tangled and tied up into a ginormous ball (apparently I need to be more specific with the petsitter as to how we manage our multi-dog household). No worries though...I am so stubborn that I have already invested several hours untangling and re-balling three of the skeins (I only had to resort to scissors once so far). Hopefully I can save it all...we shall see.

Drama from this trip includes leaving Myles' baby blanket at the Cedar Point hotel. Except, it isn't Myles' baby blanket...it's the baby blanket I crocheted for Sam before he was born. One of the last coherent conversations I had with my grandma Ruby was about that blanket. I remember sitting on the couch in her living room stitching and chatting about crochet and babies. So much has changed since then...I'm really overly emotional about that blanket right now. Lost & Found says they're looking for it...but I'm not going to hold my breath because the fact is I don't have that kind of good luck.

And of course, now the additional drama of what appears to be the slow death of the home computer. (You didn't think I PLANNED this post to be this boring did you?) I was being all efficient and uploaded from my camera...planning to do this post...and the computer has decided to need a computer doctor. Pictures are currently inaccessible. I'm hoping somebody can retrieve them but...as you know...I don't have that kind of good luck.

#26 way to change the world

This one is a little bit different...but the concept is very simple.
Pick 3 independently owned local businesses you couldn't live without in your town.

Shop there and spend $50/month.

Save your local economy by investing your money in your local economy.

#25 way to change the world

I am late with last week's charitable effort. So I'll just post TWO this week. One now and one Friday/Saturday. OK? OK.

I was walking through the mall last weekend when this bracelet caught my eye. Mr. Umholtz, JB Robinson Jewelers, kindly took it out of the case and let me try it on. He didn't have much more information than what was on the card...With the purchase of the Green Bracelet, $20 or more goes back to Africa to support educational programs where diamonds are a natural resource.

I was intrigued so I looked it up online and found the maker of the bracelet is the Simmons Jewelry Company...the company of the hip-hop celebrity Russell Simmons and model(?) Kimora Lee Simmons (I'll be honest...I only recognize her from Celebrity Baby Blog). And the bracelet is the first in their "Green Initiative," benefitting the Diamond Empowerment Fund (D.E.F.).

Here is a little article about the effort to boost economic development in Africa and provide "conflict free" diamonds in the world market. This is apparently something that has been ongoing since 2006/2007...but we live in the boonies and things are slow to reach us.

It's a little higher price, so it's a good thing to look at for special gift occasions. I told Steve it would be a lovely gift for our upcoming anniversary...15 years (wow!).

Miscellaneous thoughts

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Last Sunday, after literally telling everyone to "get out of my space," I was able to do a little sewing. Seams sewn. Zippers repaired. Buttons replaced. The front of a new dress pattern pinned to fabric...upside down. oops!
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I need a serger. Like NEED a serger. Yes, I'm thirteen and figure if I keep begging I will, one day, actually get a serger.
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Not much to note around here. Got a cheap window air conditioner for the boys' room and fashioned a redneck-style window installation. I'm just hoping it doesn't slip out of the window and fall down the two stories to the ground below. Not that I doubt my husband's redneck capabilities or anything, but I think I will rope off a "do not walk here" zone...just to be safe.
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I need a better paying job. I'm just saying.
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Halfway through the year and some things have fallen by the wayside. Photo Fridays...I really really want to catch up but I'm not sure where I'll find the time. Snowflake Mondays...I am trying to catch up but I learned last weekend that I cannot crochet snowflakes in the car. The thread and hook are too fine...and the work too detailed...to do with any extraneous bumping around.
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You knew it was only a matter of time.
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My girlfriend and I talk about opening our own craft and coffee shop. Her husband says it's like the parallel to the guy conversation about how cool it would be to open a bar. Phooey. Someday I'm going to find a way to make it happen and make him eat his words.
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I'm having a House Party on Saturday...sponsored by Domino's American Legends pizza. Free pizza! Fun!
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I really wonder why I had to answer any questions about dinner if he was just going to throw a grilled steak on my plate and leave it at that. I returned from the grill with my steak...looked on the stove...looked in the microwave...nothing. No, I do not want my green beans in another five minutes or my potatoes in another fifteen minutes (after my steak is gone). sheesh!
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Zip the foster dog expressed her displeasure with her new harness by chewing through it. It was cute too, dang it! Pink with little white polka dots. Of course, said chewing incident could have been prevented if I would have just taken the darn thing off her before I went to work. But I was misled to believe that the boys would keep an eye on her during the day (Live and learn, I guess). Now I need to find another cute harness. I know it's sad, but it's the only way I can get any sort of girly shopping fix.
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LOL!
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We recently adopted an old black labbie girl from the APL. She can't stand having her picture taken. Seriously, she gets up and walks away whenever she sees a camera pointed in her direction. My husband's hypothesis? She was a supermodel in a past life and is tired of the "pup-arazzi." Yeah...I know.
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Sam is watching the Travel Channel. He now wants to visit Belgium, Chile, and Gilbert, Arizona.
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Today...I lost three pair of shoes to the foster dog...I didn't get coffee until noon...Sam has a teenager attitude in a 7-year-old body...Myles fell off the couch three times...the car requires $300 worth of repair...I have to take Myles to the doctor for a checkup...I have to attend calling hours for my boss's son this evening.

Tonight...I drink.
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Gone

My boss's son just died. I never met him and yet I'm terribly saddened by the news of his passing. Though this does bring up a whole host of unresolved feelings for me, that sadness is eclipsed by the sadness I feel for them...the family.

I'm sad that it was sudden and there was no chance for his family to say goodbye.

I'm sad that his three-year-old daughter will grow up to not know her father.

I'm sad that his wife is left alone in this life to take care of their daughter.

I'm sad for the road of grief I know my boss and his wife will now have to travel.

I'm sad that they know this road well, having already buried on son.

My heart wants to make it all go away...make it all better for everyone. But my head knows there is nothing that can be done.

Rest in peace, JJS. Please, if you can, watch over your family from wherever you are. I know they're going to miss you terribly.

Remember to tell those you love how important they are to you. Because sometimes you just don't get another chance.

Welcome to the world Baby Cooper!

My friend Heather had her baby boy this morning! He weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and measured 20" long. Congratulations to the whole family!

Welcome to the world Baby Loralai

Heather's little girl is here!

Born early on Thursday, June 11 at 3:57pm, she weighed 6 pounds 3 ounces and was 18 inches long. She is currently in the NICU, so her brother hasn't been allowed to see her just yet. Heather is doing well enough to Facebook, so that's good. :o)

I hate to leave it at that, but I want to let Heather tell her own story.

Congratulations to the entire family!