Monday, September 21, 2009

That's not your day

Very pregnant co-worker (formerly new mommy co-worker on this blog) is due on 9/28. She's tired of being pregnant and is planning to beg for induction at her appointment...tomorrow. As if it's not bad enough that I lost Alex and had to live with the sight of her new baby come July 4th. Now she wants to be induced on Travis' due date...

The logical side of my brain says it's just a day...same as any other. The emotional side of my brain (and possibly the softer parts of my heart) wish the world could stop for just one day for just a LITTLE remembrance for the half-baked boy who had my heart but no name when he died.

Naturally I'm spending some time today poking at the old bruises and seeing if they still hurt.

They do.

But I heard this song on the radio during my drive in to work...
So damn easy to say that life's so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars
That I'm alive and well
It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smoulders in the rain
But not me, I'm alive.

And today, you know, that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well.

Stars are dancin' on the water here tonight
It's good for the soul and there's not a soul in sight
This boat has caught it's wind and brought me back to life
Now I'm alive and well.

And today, you know, that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
Now I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well.

...so I'm trying to manage a balance on that razor thin edge...you know the one I'm talking about (I'm glad if you don't).

4 comments:

Kathy McC said...

I don't think it ever stops hurting...we just learn to ignore the pain. But sometimes all it takes is one little pinch and it's there at the surface again.

kate said...

((((hugs)))) I was thinking that the other day, that everybody's got their share of battle scars. Most of them invisible to others...most days, anyway.

Beruriah said...

Huh. I never comment on word verification by mine right now is "mistyone." That sounds about right. The sensation gets duller, but never disappears and at times it hits you full on in the face.

I hope the doctor says no.

MB said...

Boy, do I. It just never ever goes away. Poking old bruises. Yup, do that too. Hang in there, kid.