Everything Is Under Control

It's supposed to be Perfect Moment Monday. And I'm supposed to post a picture. But my camera and I have been working on Animal Protective League business and haven't snapped even a simple shot of the boys lately (a fact for which they are extremely happy...I think they think I take too many pictures of them). I've been having a lot of "perfect moments" lately...just haven't taken a photograph of them.

Walking into the house after a long day of volunteering and having Sam and Myles run the length of the house toward me with smiles on their faces and their little arms outstretched for long-overdue hugs.

Driving up the driveway after work, seeing horses in the pasture, Steve on the porch, one little boy wearing his bicycle helmet and pretending to ride his skateboard, another littler boy swinging a plastic golf club around like a samurai sword.

Walking out of the grocery store seeing Sam in the passenger seat and Myles on Steve's lap in the driver's s…

The other day I was using my doppler and Myles kept insisting, "Choo-choo...choo-choo." There was something that stopped me from saying the word baby. I don't know why. But today I just jumped right in with both feet when he gave me the opening...

Myles(spying my belly stretch marks): "Mommy...ouch? hurt?"

Me: "Nope, no ouch. You know why my belly looks like that?"

Myles: "Why?"

Me: "There's a baby in there."

Myles(eyes wide in disbelief): "No."

A few minutes later...

Me: "Myles tell Sam about Mommy's belly."

Myles: "No."

Sam: "Myles is there a baby in Mommy's belly?"

Myles(hesitantly): "Uh-huh."

A few minutes later...

Me: "Myles tell Daddy about Mommy's belly."

Myles(enthusiastically): "Baby!"

There's no turning back now. *gulp*

People who try to use an eighteen-inch skillet to cook a three-egg omelette.

We have a dishwasher, yet the kitchen sink is always full of dirty dishes.

My husband "cooked" eighteen eggs, and yet I still have nothing to eat for dinner.

Why people stress when someone verbally threatens to sue them.

Crocheting is so easy but knitting is so difficult.

How to let "I'm sorry" fix anything.

How anyone could want to live in Pittsburgh.

Reconciling wanting another baby with, "Oh my hell...now I'll have to take care of FOUR other people."

Second grade homework.

The fact that after five pregnancies together, my husband still doesn't understand the urgency of the pregnancy food craving.

The trackball on my Blackberry.

I just got off the phone with a (new) client who clearly does not value my opinion or advice, when I got a call from another client who asked me to be a presenter at a conference. Some days I worry about getting whiplash in this job.

"Don't let your fears about tomorrow steal your joys of today."

Nella's grandpa, Enjoying the Small Things

I thought of you today when I saw these...

And I realize I must be getting to be more like you...because I LOVE them!

Today I remember Thomas by participating in Random Acts of Kindness Day.

Much love and peace go out to Kristin and Sandy today. May Thomas' birthday be gentle on you both. And may all the Random Acts being done today in Thomas' name echo your love across time and space.

As I've talked about before, Sam has had some trouble focusing in school. He is...over-social.

OK...stop laughing now.

As I've talked about before, we have struggled with how to deal with this in an effective way. He gets all A's...generally A+'s...so it's not that he can't do the work. It's that he talks and talks and talks (I WONDER where he gets it from).

I told you to stop laughing.

We have tried various systems of privileges/rewards/punishments that, quite simply, haven't worked. He is quite content to lose TV, computer, or videogames...he just plays with other toys or goes outside and digs holes in the dirt. He isn't bothered too much by losing special activities like soccer or Cub Scouts. He just finds something else to occupy his time. Try as we might, he just didn't seem to have what Dr. Phil calls, his valuable currency. That one thing that is worth something...worth shaping up for.

I'm happy to announce that, by pure luck, I think w…

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I've decided, on advice from friends, that I don't have to put up with anonymous rude comments on my blog space. I wouldn't put up with it in person, so I'm not going to put up with it here. So...anonymous comments are now off.
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I did want to answer one question...why would I put myself through another pregnancy if I am going to be miserable the entire time?

1. I'm not miserable. Scared...yes. No...terrified that I'm going to bury another child. I found the experience of standing at my child's gravesite, looking at his coffin, to be the worst of my life (times two). That doesn't mean I'm miserable. It just means I have life experiences that color my perceptions. And they don't just go away because I wish them away (believe me, I've tried).

I know there is a lot of crazy associated with my current views of pregnancy and childbirth. I fully recognize that some of it is complete…

Just when I thought I had heard all the insensitive conversations one can have with a deadbabymama, I encounter another...

Today the incessantly (and irritatingly) perky older nurse at Dr.A's office told me all about how much she LOVED being pregnant...because she "felt so healthy and strong."

You'll be glad to know I didn't knock her teeth out the way I really wanted to.

Heartrate 150bpm :o)

Next appointment in two weeks...will try not to freak out again before then...but have permission to call or email if I do.

Mom's ok.
We're ok.
Lots of snow...had a snow day on Friday.
The Olympics are over and Sam is happy because he, "won't have to watch random curling events anymore."
A stray cat with extra toes on the front paws showed up at our door the other night and Steve said, "Absolutely not." So...we took it to the APL to find it a new home.
Pants getting too tight because I'm eating too much.
Husband still not listening to me when I speak. Thinking of communicating with him solely through facebook.
First post-freakout appointment today.
Fun times.
I miss random curling events being on TV.