Showing posts from December, 2010

Another year down

2010 in review...

I will endeavor to post something here every single day this year.

Today is my official birthday, but I have been celebrating all weekend already.

Mom's ok.

I try to tell myself I am other things, besides pregnant.

I entered a contest. (Update: I didn't win anything.)

I'd like to thank Jen, who sent me several books, but I don't know which one to thank.

I will take McDonald's dinners to the park and watch Sam and Myles play.

This weekend was my 20th high school reunion.

Blogger has added stats capabilities.

I find myself struggling with impatience these days.

Yes, I've moved the virtual furniture around here.

No, I'm not pregnant.

Blah! This year was a snooze.

So let's see...what can I tell you that will knock your socks off?


I'm as bored and boring as ever...and I LIKE IT THAT WAY!


Happy New Year! Here is hoping that 201…
"I went on and found out my great great grandmother had five children and only one survived. It can be so easy to forget how lucky you are."


Thanks for that. And just so you know...I will NEVER use your service.

Feeling lucky two my five survived


Please stop over to Rachel's place and wish her well on her new pregnancy.

Decorating the xmas tree

Sam: Myles, do you know that you have two other brothers?

Myles: No.

Sam: Do you wanna know their names?

Myles: Yes.

Sam: Alex and Travis.

Myles: Alex and Travis.

Sam: Yep...but they died.

Myles: [blank stare]

Sometimes I don't know whether to cry or laugh.

To the future...

I caught myself watching the 700 Club Interactive the other. No, don't have a heart attack, I haven't found Jesus or anything like that. They had this young couple who had lost their first born daughter shortly after birth. They talked all about God, of course, and I bristled when the woman said that God had made them a promise of more children in the future. But her hope was almost palpable. And when she said that she liked to think of the generations of people they will give birth to...generations that otherwise would not have existed...I wept. Ignoring the naivete of her certainty that she will a living child, I had my own lightbulb moment...
We are mother and father...we will hopefully be grandmother and grandfather...there is a thread here that would not have existed...if...
"They" were right...with time, there is comfort in looking forward instead of back...looking at what we HAVE instead of what we are missing. 
We are fully aware that not everyone is as lucky.

Daily affirmations

While sitting in a continuing legal education class yesterday, I marvelled at the egos of the other lawyers in the room. During a discussion of professionalism I had to stifle a laugh when someone actually said, "People think lawyers, as a group, are just BETTER than other people." I certainly don't think of myself that way. In fact, I often discount my knowledge to the point that I may be making my own clients disrespect me and my opinions. As Dr. Phil says...You teach people how to treat you.
Then this morning, I read this short online "bio" and I was...I guess "impressed" is the word I would use. "I work by day as a systems integrator, by night I'm a photographer, a husband and a father." It sounds so...I don't (yes, I AM still twelve years old apparently). But when I say something similar about myself, I feel...embarrassed...shy...apologetic. As if I'm not worth the word "photographer." As if my dreams ar…

Still here

No, I'm not pregnant.
No, I'm not suicidal.
No, I'm not happy or sad or...anything really.

I'm just not sure what to do with this space. I feel anchored by what I've written here. Weighed down. Stuck. I get the urge to rearrange things in an attempt to shake this feeling. I didn't want to talk about it or be all dramatic with goodbye, so I just shut things down...which I should've realized would result in having to field multiple inquiries from friends and family...and thus, forcing me to talk about it.

Then this morning I posted a facebook status update that said, "Would give just about anything to be able to stay in bed and sleep more this morning." A friend with a three week old newborn responded, "I would dream of this if I could sleep long enough to dream!" I deleted her comment and came back here.

So now I guess I need to figure out what to say. I don't want to be all about the sadness that's creeping in around the edges an…