Showing posts from March, 2008

AVON for a good cause

Stacey, who is also a bereaved mom, is an AVON rep and has offered to donate all of her profits to Emmazing Grace from her internet orders now through April 15th. Her site is here if you would like to purchase something.

Be sure to chose DIRECT DELIVERY so that the products will be shipped to you.

Also, use the code REP10 for free shipping on orders over $10. Can't beat that!!

Finally, make sure you let Candy know if you order something so that she can tell Stacey it's from one of the Emmazing Grace supporters.


I don't deny that I'm fat. I know I'm fat. But there is something about being denied supplemental life insurance benefits because I'm fat that hurts a little bit.

A height and weight measurement above the medically recommended standard presents an increased risk of mortality and of developing certain adult onset health problems including: diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

Yes, I've had a lot to deal with the last three years. But it's clear that excuses won't work anymore. I've got to get this under control. But first I think I'm going to have a good cry.

Blogging buddies

I log on each morning and peek into your lives with apprehension. Trying to conceive, pregnant, surrogacy, children, illness, family troubles...all the makings of a really good soap opera. I wonder if I read because I'm a bored voyeur.

And then I find myself in tears over Dave's post at Bon's blog...

Or disappointed in myself that I missed an important milestone in Kendra's World by a couple of days because I messed up my bloglines...

Or distressed over the blog exit of friends around the world...

and I realize that it's more than morbid curiosity.

And maybe I need help.

I've met only four of you in real life (that I currently remember...I hope I'm not forgetting someone...that would be embarrassing). So why is it that you are such an important part of my life?

I know why and I'm going to indulge in a little nostalgia here today...

I remember so clearly stumbling upon this post when I was in so much pain I could barely see straight. I felt so relieved to hav…

All alone

Steve stayed home with Sam for spring break that means no baby at work today! I've gotten A LOT of work done without a little person attached to me. But I'm noticing something strange and a bit overwhelming...

It's easier to miss Alex and Travis.

I think it's probably partly the place. This office held so many hopes and happy thoughts...and so many tears and sad thoughts...without the distraction of sweet little Myles, it's easier to reflect on where I was...where I've been...where I am now.

I think it's also probably partly that I finally understand the sentiment that a new baby doesn't replace the ones who are lost. They are still a part of my narrative...still a part of my heart. And I can acknowledge that without betraying Myles in any way.

And of course, part of it is that I KNOW where Sam and Myles are. And I KNOW they are being taken good care of by their father who loves them. I don't have to take anything on faith or fanciful promis…

Remembering Nicolas

Steve and I send all our love to Catherine and her family today.

I did not take this photo as we still have snow on the ground here...but rather, found it on photobucket and can not remember from whom.

Jesus: The Complete Story

Me: (Scanning past TLC) Jesus...the COMPLETE story? In one hour?

Steve: In high definition if you go up a channel.

Me: Really?

Steve: As God intended it...And God commanded let there be 720 progressively scanned lines of resolution.

Yep...we're going to hell for sure.

Heard at my house

Me: "Why do you have to make so much noise when I'm on the phone?"

Sam: "Because that's what Samuel's are for."
Sam: "Mommy, shouldn't this be the day we go on vacation?"

Me: "No. Not today."

Sam: "Well, what day then? Wednesday or Friday? You have to choose."

Me: "We're probably not going on vacation."

Sam: "Then me and Daddy will."
Myles: (screaming)

Sam: "Myles...dude...would you please be quiet so I can watch my movie?"

Attention all knitsters!

Sign the petition to save Knitty Gritty.

Hey, a girl can be political sometimes, can't she? :o)

Thank you.

Best buddies?

She's been dropping little hints here and there every time I see her in the gym during kindergarten pickup. At first she commented about the age difference between Sam and Myles. I don't remember, quite honestly, if I told her why there is such an age difference. I think I might have. Apparently whatever I said was seen as common ground of sorts.

The next time I saw her she mentioned that her and her husband have been "trying" to have another baby without much luck. I know how these conversations often people make a big deal of their two or three months of "trying" and, quite frankly, irritate the hell out of me.

Then the next time I saw her she mentioned she had had "an early miscarriage." I felt anxious about the possibility of having that conversation where my experience is compared to someone else's. I was so thankful when the kids came barreling into the gym and we were able to say our goodbyes and I could get away.

And then there …

Rites of spring

The first day of spring.

Sunshine on new snow.

Myles' four-month birthday.

Carli Mae's first birthday just days after her little sister's safe arrival into the loving arms of her mama.

May this spring bring only good things to everyone.

Remember to hope.

Fair and impartial

I have my very first jury trial coming up on April 16th in Judge Y's courtroom.

I received a summons for jury duty on April 16th in Judge Y's courtroom.

I think I'd do well with myself as a juror.

Welcome to the world Mackenzie Grace!!!

Congratulations to Darcie and her family on the safe arrival of Mackenzie Grace at 12:51pm! I'm so so so happy for you!

Miscellaneous thoughts

The Blackberry didn't last a week. It was too much phone for me. I have not retreated back to my paper dayplanner, but I really feel like maybe I should. Technology and I are apparently not made for one another.
It is one thing to believe that cats should chase live in an old farmhouse with two cats indoors (and at least one outdoors)...expecting those cats to rid your living space of dirty rodents. It is an entirely different thing altogether to hear a scene from Wild Kingdom being played out behind you in the darkness of the dining room as you surf the internet on your computer. The noises...I can not adequately describe the noises.
I sometimes really wish we could "rewind the world" (as my Sam said) so I could say, "I told you so."
The mailbox is gone. Not even the post remains. We can only as…

Vacation ideas?

June 4-8

Let's hear 'em.

For Kristin

RAK as requested in honor of Thomas' third birthday...small donation made to NILMDTS.

Everyone needs a little magic

If you ever want your inner spirit renewed...observe a magic show at an elementary school and watch the young ones as they ooh and aah at the magic mirror and magic hat...the multi-colored scarves and the magic rope.

I had the occasion to accompany my son to a magic show yesterday. He won a ticket as a prize for selling five items in the school fundraiser earlier in the year. At first, I didn't really want to go and I hoped he would change his mind and opt to stay home instead of traipsing out into the oncoming blizzard for a "silly magic show." And, I have to admit I was a little put out that it was scheduled for a day when he didn't already have school. I mean, the EFFORT (I was apparently struck with the woe-is-me bug earlier this week and had yet to shake it as of Friday morning).

But when we arrived and the school secretary ushered us in, I was immediately glad we had made the trek in through the snow and wind. His eyes sparkled and he smiled through the entire s…

Miscellaneous thoughts

Not only do I have a programmable coffee maker, a DVR, a laptop, and a blog, but now I have to keep me reminded (via email) of important dates. AND this week, the FedEx guy delivered me my new Blackberry. (We got a deal and I think Steve is hoping it will organize me...ha!) I have no idea how most of it works, but I'm having fun playing around with it. It may turn out to be too much technology for me. I have been able to figure out how to get my bloglines feeds on it (which is a lifesaver when the power goes out and you're home with a five-year-old and a three-month-old). So now I'm mobile! Give me something interesting to read dear internet. And if you're up for it...drop me a note letting me know all your important dates. Who knows...I just might get organized enough to send you a card or something.

I feel so 2008. Now I just need something to automate the laundry process...

In case you missed it

I don't do memes

But Delphi tagged me with one that I can do without any here goes...

The rules are simple. Look up from the computer, look around the room where you're sitting and pick up the closest book. And closest really means closest. No cheating by running upstairs to unearth your pink-highlighted college copy of The Critique of Pure Reason or the Prolegomena. Open the book, turn to page 123, count down to the fifth sentence on that page, and then post the next three sentences.

I just happened to bring my latest (re)read with me when I came downstairs to sit at the computer this morning...Debbie Macomber, 204 Rosewood Lane. I am not the least bit embarrassed to admit I read this type of book. These days, it's about all I can manage with the craziness of life all around me. It's kind of like watching soap operas. Ten years can go by and you can still flip it on and understand what's happening. Uncomplicated and easy. And I think I deserve a bit of that.

He cont…

Miscellaneous thoughts

I was reading over at sweet|salty and love this comment..."What does it matter, this grand scheme of things?"

LOVE it! doesn't matter. With the passage of time, I no longer despair over my beliefs. I have found peace with myself and what I do/don't believe...and I don't need to discuss it and seek approval. It really is quite an amazing feeling. I'm not sure if Myles' brought this with him or if I managed to pick my way through the minefield under my own power. But it's good. And I'm not going to question it.
Thank you for all your book suggestions. I'm currently undecided on the wisdom of books about Captain Underpants. Something just tells me this would result in some sort of uncomfortable conversation with the Kindergarten teacher who already hates me.

Speaking of...Steve went to parent-teacher conference on Tuesday (I stayed home with Sam and Myles)…