Showing posts from January, 2008

MOM Project

The MOM Project was founded in October 2003 in loving memory of Mariam Rebman, beloved daughter of Lisa Rebman. The MOM Project is aimed towards families affected by pregnancy and infant loss. We offer a variety of information, services, and memorial gifts. Commemorative Birth Certificates and Recognition of Life Certificates, as well as Bereaved Mother's Bracelets are offered free of charge.

This project is staffed entirely by volunteers and operates on donations. Sadly, both are few and far between these days and the project is facing a freeze on all free items. As a bereaved mother myself, I know how valuable the smallest tokens can be when you are thrown into the black hole of grief. And that is why I'm coming to you, dear internets.

In the past, I have solicited donations myself for the purchase of supplies to make bracelets and mail them to mothers who request them (it now costs about $6 a bracelet to accomplish this), and my blog readers and friends have been very genero…

Party with a Purpose!

FROCK 'N ROLL® 2008: Fundraiser to Benefit the MISS Foundation

Please join us for a night of fundraising fun!

FROCK 'N ROLL is the annual charity event that brings together the Phoenix, Arizona fashion and music industries.

The date is the evening of May 17, 2008 and the event will be hosted by Alice Cooper'sTown, the venue owned by it's famous namesake.

FROCK 'N ROLL '08 will mark the fifth anniversary of this special event. As bands play live, models "rock the catwalk" in clothing designed by Arizona fashion designers, all in the name of charity.

Leslie Criger, Susan Di Staulo, Daynalyn Wain and Rhonda Zayas, highly respected professionals from different fields of the arts in Phoenix, are the producers and founders of the event.

Each FROCK ‘N ROLL founder, band, model, designer chooses their own charity. Champagne Tap, one of the four bands to play at the event, will be playing to benefit the MISS Foundation. Tickets can be purchased for a $10 donation du…

Miscellaneous thoughts

Miscellaneous thoughts were delayed a bit this week by the pure insanity of life. I have a lot to say and not a lot of time to type it.
Monday night's sleepy baby was replaced by Tuesday and Wednesday's cranky baby.

As we were walking out the door for school Thursday morning, I could be heard saying to Sam, "If your father's car wasn't in my way, I would have left without you."

Thursday's baby was asleep in his carseat when we got home from work/school so I left him there to sleep...for three hours.

I'm not sure what any of that says about us.
I finished a crochet gift Friday...the first in quite a while. I've got a few more projects on the hooks that I'd like to whip through right quick. I'll keep you posted and share some pictures as soon as I know the US Postal service has delivered the gifts to their …

Four years

Peaceful thoughts to my friend, Kelly.

Thank you for the pictures. I wish you didn't have to take them that way.

Really bad jokes

So the ladies at my office decided I was going to have a baby shower. I didn't want one and I tried to tell them I didn't want one, but they disregarded my wishes and planned one anyway. Their justification was that I had "earned this."

They told me when it would be and arranged food and everything. It would have been rude not to show up. Ever the people pleaser, I went without putting up a fuss.

It was held in the office conference room over the standard lunch hour and really, it was quite lovely. Myles was a perfect sleepy baby...hanging out in the sling or draped across my friend Lisa's chest. We had a casual lunch of pizza (that someone claimed to be the best in northeast Ohio) and cake with baby blue icing (and Myles' name misspelled). There were lots of pretty wrapped presents and all the ladies engaged in the obligatory oohing and aahing over Myles and the adorable little baby gifts for him.

One of the ladies told me that her card had been lost somewher…

My album cover

For Niobe


Quote: "The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another." J. Frank Dobie (1888 - 1964), "A Texan in England", 1945.

Photo found here

Ohio girls

Three men were sitting together, bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Indiana and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house, and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Pennsylvania. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, the dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third had married an Ohio girl. He said that he told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the…

survival instincts of a desperate working mom

Shots yesterday.
Forgot the tylenol this morning.
Cranky baby who needs sleep.
Won't take the pacifier...
...but likes to lick pear wedges.

2 month appointment

11 pounds, 8 ounces (50th percentile)

23 1/2 inches tall (75th percentile)

Three shots and lots of screaming (Sam "helped" by yelling, "I can't take it anymore.").

Snuggly afternoon to (over)compensate.

Thank you!

Look what arrived on my doorstep today!

Sam and I just enjoyed a lovely snack of cheese and pear.

Thank you Kathy McC!!!

Miscellaneous thoughts

I'm obsessed with these boys and their smiles.
And look what I was blessed with today...

I started one of those "about me" memes that's floating around. I was so bored with myself and my answers that I deleted it. And then I realized...I'm boring...there is no earth-shattering tragedy to write about...things are normal! I think I cried a little bit. (and no, I'm still not posting the meme...I may revel in my boringness...but I won't purposely subject anyone else to it).

Therefore, it's only fair to warn you that Friday miscellaneous thoughts will be boring and child-centered until further notice.
Myles, the Ready Set Learn penguin on Discovery Kids. I guess I can live with that. Sam's first tv obsession was Rugrats. Talk about an annoying television program!
My grandfather was eulogized as the kind…

Happy baby

I ALMOST caught that smile on camera...

Taking note

There are so many little moments that slip by without note in our lifetime. Not that I don't notice them, I just don't take note of them. I think that's part of why I continue to blog. I forces me to slow down each day and process all the moments of my day...forces me to literally take note of those little moments that tend to get lost if I don't focus on them. And when I do sit down and take note, I'm pretty amazed at what I find.

This morning, Samuel was playing with Myles on my bed while I watched the Colbert Report. Muhammad Yunus was on the show, talking about his book, Creating a World Without Poverty: Social Business and the Future of Capitalism (which has now been added to my ever-growing wish list of books I want to read when I magically find more time in the day). Mr. Yunus was also talking about what qualifications people must meet to participate in his micro-loan program for the "very poor" in Bangladesh. He said one of the easiest ways to iden…

Welcome to the world baby Piglet!

I'm sorry I'm posting this after the fact. Circumstances left me out of town and without access to post the big news. Shinny had her baby girl! Everyone is healthy and happy. I will leave the details to her to post because I'd probably mess them up anyway.

Congratulations to the whole family!

What's behind door #4

I don't remember where I heard it said, but it certainly seems true that you know you're a grown-up when it seems like all you do is attend weddings and funerals. I also don't know where I heard it said (I think it was someone here), but it certainly is true that time will drag you along into the future whether you want to go or not.

Yesterday was my follow-up appointment with Dr. A. and I was struck by the stark differences between today and when this journey began. Back then, the trees were full and green. The weather was turning warmer and summer was beckoning us to come out and play. The demolition had just begun on the bridge along the highway between my house and the hospital. I was so sad and scared.

I always thought the summer after losing Alex was the longest summer of my life. It turns out, the summer of 2007 was worse. And as fall approached, I remember noting the changes in the weather and the trees. I kept track of the progress of the bridge construction becaus…

William Barney Balka

Just a handful of pictures and a few words...that's all I really know about my grandpa's life. Maybe the fact that the details are so few and far between is what makes each one so lovely and sweet. He made so many normal moments that would generally be considered unimportant...feel important.

He would take me for rides to the post office and A&W root beer floats (a tradition that I only now realize was the driving force behind his yearly contributions to my ever-growing stamp collection).
He bought me my first watch.
He taught me how to fish.
He shared his love of dogs with me.
His favorite candy was "circus peanuts," though he could eat anything sweet.
He called me "punkin" and always listened when I talked about my life.
He didn't talk a lot.
He was usually a silent presence. Strong. Steady. Unless he had a joke to tell. Then he could laugh big bold laughs that would make everyone around him laugh. (He loved to catch people off guard by answering t…

Myles smiles

Not at me and not because of me.

He smiled and cooed at the photo of Samuel on my bookshelf at work.

I knew that was a good picture of Sam when I reacted exactly the same way upon seeing it. Now I have confirmation.

If only I could catch it on camera...

Not a bad day

~Was able to wear heels and prepregnancy pants.
~Swung through the McDonalds drive-thru for hashbrowns and coffee.
~Sam made it to school EARLY.
~I made it to work EARLY.
~The maintenance men rearranged my office furniture. While they did break my computer keyboard, they were fast and didn't make fun of my need for playpen space to my face.
~Myles seemed to enjoy the day.
~Found out my coworker who had a miscarriage is tentatively pregnant again.
~Got very little actual work done, but got my office cleaned and rearranged to be baby-friendly, followed up on some pending matters, organized my workload so I can start in earnest tomorrow.
~Picked Sam up on time.

Not bad if I do say so myself.

I do have a few things to ponder after this first day...
~I need an exercise routine. One day back in heels and my legs are killing me.
~In line with the weight considerations, I need to come up with portable and easy meals that I can eat in a hurry.
~How to answer phone calls with Myles in the room. You jus…

At the office

I think he likes it. I know I do. :o)

V words


Sam: "Mommy, I know this looks a bit like a teddy bear, but it's a volcano."
Me: "What you have to do is put hot lava coming out of it and it will look more like a volcano and less like a teddy bear."

Sam: "But I don't know how to draw a van."
Me: "Draw a box with wheels...that's pretty much it."
Sam: "Oh, you're right...a van is pretty much a box with wheels."
I'm looking up words that start with the letter V for my son's kindergarten homework. He is supposed to draw pictures of things that start with V. So we're really talking V nouns. I must admit to being stumped by kindergarten homework. That is really quite embarrassing.

Legal Ethics

I took a course in Legal Ethics. I passed an exam called the Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam. I passed the Ethics portion of the Ohio State Bar Examination. But I don't recall what you're supposed to do when you suspect a client is lying to you. My inclination is to get really pissed off and say so. But that's not really helpful, is it?

No need to explain

I had this long blog post typed up about why I feel like I need to do things the way I'm doing them. It was filled with explanations and pleas for understanding. I deleted it.

I've always done that...sought approval for what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. I find it very difficult to live my life without someone telling me what a good job I'm doing. I thrive on positive reinforcement and literally feel sick to my stomach when I think someone disapproves or is disappointed in me in the slightest.

I'm over that now.

I'm doing what I'm doing with my kids and my job for my own reasons...and I'll make it work somehow. That doesn't mean I won't complain about it. That doesn't mean I won't delve into self-pity every now and again and be completely and totally envious of the male half of our species who don't have to worry about this stuff simply because they don't have the boobs.

But it is what it is. I'm not superwoman and I'm…

A better plan of attack

So yesterday was quite overwhelming. It was my first "full day" back at work since November 19th. Only now I've got Myles in tow and I am quite nervous about it all.

I had really just gotten the working-mom kindergarten routine down with Sam (and was feeling somewhat confident about it) when Myles arrived. Then I had six weeks to gain confidence in just being a mom to two living children and dusting off those baby skills that once were second nature but have been stored away like my skinny jeans...for that dream of "some day."

Now, as I try to become superwoman and do it all, there's not so much confidence.

By nature, I'm a planner. I like to imagine contingencies...plan for possibilities. But with this, I'm starting from square one in a life I hadn't really planned. I never in a million years thought I'd be drafting pleadings with a baby strapped to my chest in a sling. I never imagined I would have to consider whether the baby would scream…

Back in the swing of things...?

Awake and wishing I were sleeping from 1:30 to 4am.

Out to the minivan without breaking my neck in the snow and ice (must replace work shoes with boots).

Sam was late to school.

The cover blew off Myles' face as we walked into the office and the freezing wind made him gasp for breath.

Office coffee is bad.

Nursed in the office. Lots of thoughts about all the times I closed the door to cry.

On the phone with clients and citizens who I would love to tell to grow up already and start being reasonable.

Lights in sling sleeping.

Email from my boss that says, "Can you resume control of this matter? I don’t have the time right now. I have stuff on my desk that you should have."


Tell my boss, "Yes," and get second email that says, "Thank you. I love you." Sweet...but still...ouch.

Blogging about my crappy day (hey, some things will never change).

I'd rather be home crocheting. Heck, I'd rather be home doing laundry and dishes.

It's not even n…

Think they look alike?





2007 blog review

I saw this on another blog and thought it was an interesting idea.

The first line of the first post of each month...

January - Please don't kick my ass like 2005 and 2006 did...ok?

February - Today I woke up to find a dear friend (D) is pregnant with her fifth child.

March - Favorite recipe to serve when you have company?

April - Sam: How can it be raining and the sun be shining so beautiful at the same time?

May - Kathy said: The other thing is, once you get over the fear of ectopic, then you'll replace it with another worry.

June - The month-that-shall-not-be-named is DONE!

July - Really. To everyone who has emailed and inquired, I am fine.

August - I got this email from a friend (who I love dearly)...Sorry to give unasked for advice, but here it comes.

September - We were watching two baseball games on split screen tv...the Cubs on one side and the Indians on the other.

October - I work in the civil division of the county prosecutor's office for my county.

November - So...yeah.…