Friday, January 18, 2008

Miscellaneous thoughts

I'm obsessed with these boys and their smiles.
And look what I was blessed with today...

I started one of those "about me" memes that's floating around. I was so bored with myself and my answers that I deleted it. And then I realized...I'm boring...there is no earth-shattering tragedy to write about...things are normal! I think I cried a little bit. (and no, I'm still not posting the meme...I may revel in my boringness...but I won't purposely subject anyone else to it).

Therefore, it's only fair to warn you that Friday miscellaneous thoughts will be boring and child-centered until further notice.
Myles, the Ready Set Learn penguin on Discovery Kids. I guess I can live with that. Sam's first tv obsession was Rugrats. Talk about an annoying television program!
My grandfather was eulogized as the kind of man who did what needed done without complaining about it. I want to be more like him in that respect. In fact, I want to learn to curb my tongue quite a bit. I am too harsh with people I love. I don't have to say everything that comes to mind. I don't have to be so critical. I can be more tactful.

These are things I'm working on.
Sam is going to be SIX in May! I don't know why, but that thought shocks me. It also inevitably leads me to thoughts of two ghost children running around here. Especially when I see their combined faces looking up at me from the safety of my arms. What would their smiles have looked like, I wonder?
Still over prepregnancy weight...but wearing my prepregnancy pants comfortably now. I'm trying to curb my emotional eating tendencies and channel my energies into more positive activities. TRYING. Funeral weekend made me take several steps backwards...but I'm back on track now.
More reasons to worry...

I thought I would breastfeed Myles "on demand." But now I realize that he might forget to make his demand until he's screaming-hungry (when nursing becomes quite challenging). Instead, I'm doing what they tell you not to do and going by the clock. Will this cause him to need therapy when he's older?

I also worry because Myles is almost exclusively breastfed while Sam was predominantly formula fed (neither of us had "the stuff" for exclusive breastfeeding thanks to his impatience and what I recognize now was my slight postpartum depression). What if one is smarter than the other? No, let's be honest and ask the question I'm really thinking. What if Sam is smarter than Myles? Will this be another failure for me to accept? What if Myles is smarter than Sam? The guilt will eat me up for failing Sam.

Yeah...this parenting thing is a piece of cake.
Shanna has all the details of baby Marjorie's arrival up...with PICTURES!


Jill said...

Mmmm, breast vs bottle. There are more reasons than the actual liquid that affects the IQ of the kid. The educational standard of the mother making the choice, for example. I'm too lazy to google and find the actual proof, but I recall when Vixanne was having this dilemma we discovered that more less-educated mothers choose formula. It's the lack of opportunities of some of those kids, not the milk.

I've done both. And it's true, at this stage the BF kids seem smarter. At brainiac stuff. FF kid is way more social and is an expert at handling people in a way her BF siblings can't. And I tend to think she will get further with those skills than she would have with brains alone. I guess because she was fed by different people and when she was fed she wasn't staring crosseyed at an expanse of white skin but taking in the world. JMO.

As for health benefits: kid 1BF = the healthiest kid in the world. Kid 2FF = not as healthy, gets more germs but still not many. Kid 3BF (still very often at 20months) = most sickly of all. That's why she's still BF. We never had a long enough well-stretch to wean.

Bottom line is, personalities will rule over milk type. Period. If Myles is smarter, than it's because he's smarter. And damn, he's cute! How do you get anything done at work with him in the room??

Marcia said...

You are not boring, and there is nothing boring about your children! :) Cute pics! TGIF!!

Jelly-Filled said...

I'm loving all those smiles!

And hey, the guilt over formula feeding vs. breastfeeding? I just commented on another friend's blog about the same issue. We mamas should not have to feel so guilty over feeding our children. You did great with Sam, whatever you fed him, and you're doing great with Myles.

Julia said...

Lovely smiles all around.

Breast vs. bottle, though? There are so many other factors. They are individuals, with some innate predispositions. What happens if one likes math and logic games and the other likes art and music? How are you going to measure their intelligence then? The studies are about populations. They don't mean crap for individuals. It's not like they are identical twins, on bf'ed and one ff'ed.

Monica said...

I take exception to this post because I was formula fed and I'm the most brilliant person I know!! HEHE!! No, really I think it is just mams guilt and if you had BF both you'd feel guilty that you read to one more or that you held the other more. Don't beat yourself up. Myles is so damn cute!!

BTW.. I know it won't do any good but I'd love to read your "boring" meme. I bet you aren't boring. Everyone else seems to have more interesting lives. Sorta a take on the, "grass is greener".

Runelady said...

Your sister scuba dives and does tax accounts. Your brother plays the drums and works on his own cars and records music. You are an accomplished lawyer, needlewoman and, In MY Opinion, a terrific mother. You each have unique talents, none of which makes any of you smarter than the other. Your boys will also each have unique styles. I'm not certain how much influence I had on each of you - maybe none at all. I provided safe living conditions, a thirst for knowledge, and love. That's all a mom can do. Enjoy it, revel in it, and accept each child as he develops. That's all you can do. Love ya, mom - the techno challenged one.

Bon said...

i love that your mom commented.

and i breastfed by the clock, more or less, except when we supplemented with bottles and, eventually, formula...and thus far, at 21 months tomorrow, no therapy! lol.

Kendra's mom said...

First, what a gorgeous babe! What a smile!

2nd, as the others have said you needn't beat yourself up about the differences between Sam and Myles. Each child is different no matter what they are fed.

3rd, if going by the clock suits you then go for it. I also said I would only feed on demand and never wake my child up to feed. With my first that worked ok but with Kendra I HAD to wake her up to feed and I had to stick to a schedule as she was so small and weak that I had to feed her up. So, as I said, each child is different.

Lastly, I have been battling with pregnancy weight (then grief/comfort eating weight) for a while and have decided to really go for it this year. Check out my new blog and join me if you want -