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Showing posts from September, 2007

Yeah...no kidding

High-Priced Student Loans Spell Trouble

And my thought?

I finally found someone who owes more than I do!

Welcome to the world Baby Talitha

Talitha Koum Rebekah arrived safely at 6:45 pm yesterday weighing 9 lbs 2oz and measuring 21 3/4 inches long.

Congratulations to Dana and the entire family!

For the record

Third trimester starts today.

Miscellaneous thoughts

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There are days when blogging seems pointless and silly. Like the day after I post that a baby has died...or a friend has died. The best I can do is adjust the format so that the next post doesn't appear on the same page. It still seems wrong somehow...
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I don't mind saying that Lisa's death has shaken me to my very core. She was only two years older than me. And she's gone forever. This has made me face some very scary questions this week about myself and my family. I was all gung-ho to have a c-section at the end of November. Now I have concerns. The few people I have confessed this to have basically told me I'm being irrational (which sits well with me, as I'm sure you can guess). But the fact is that you never know...

We have an ultrasound scheduled for Tuesday and then I was supposed to have an appointment with the nurse midwife in the practice. I think I'm going to reschedule the appointment wi…

Sleep sweet dear friend

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Ladies:

I am so sad to inform you that our Lisa passed away last night at 7:45. She passed peacefully with all of her family and myself present, so she was not alone. I have a lot of arrangements to make, so once I know details I'll email you back. Please don't call as I won't really have the time today to talk, as much as I would like to.

I so appreciate all of the positive energy and prayers you sent our way. Unfortunately, it was not enough to save Lisa. My heart is broken and I'll never be the same. Lisa was my best friend, and I'll miss her so much words cannot describe.

Take care,
G

You touched so many lives during your short time here.
You are loved and we will miss you forever.
Give your babies all those hugs and kisses you dreamed of.
Until we meet again...

Lisa's visitation will be on Saturday and Sunday 2-4 and 7-9 at Jefferson Memorial Funeral Home; 301 Curry Hollow Road; Pittsburgh, PA 15236. Phone (412) 655-4501. The funeral will be next Monday…

Welcome to the world Baby Oscar!

Oscar has arrived, safe and well, weighing 8lbs. Mama says he "is gorgeous."

Congratulations Denise!
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I finally started a baby blanket. It's a simple stitch and I can work on it with my eyes closed (good for when I want to watch television). It's just a plain acrylic yarn, but I've found with Sam that plain acrylic holds up the best to little boy shenanigans.


And now that Michelle is off having her baby, I can show off the sweater I made for her little Natalie. A hat is soon to follow (should be a quick stitch...but it's a new pattern for me, so you never know).

Not sure what this says about me

I don't remember due dates anymore. A very dear friend in my animal rescue group remembered it for me...and I had to look it up to be sure.

I tend to think Travis got the short end of the stick in the grief department. I cried, but not like I cried (still cry) for Alex. I don't visit him at the cemetery like I did Alex (every day for the first few months). If he weren't born so close to Alex's birthday...if his birthday wasn't the start of a hellish week...I probably would forget that date too.

And yet, I don't feel guilty. Sure, I still feel sadness and emptiness, but I can't tell if that's a leftover from Alex or if it belongs to Travis.

How sad.

He'd be a year old if he had stayed with us...

How very sad.

Welcome to the world Natalie Rose!

Weighing in at 6lbs 12oz and measuring 19.5" long, she made her debut at 2:09 this afternoon. Congratulations to Michelle and the whole family!

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

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Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
Annual Fall Gala

Join us as we celebrate the precious gifts of portraiture that we have provided for families across the country and in eight nations thanks to the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Foundation network of professional volunteer photographers.

Thank you photographers for your countless hours of volunteer work.


When: Saturday, November 3rd at 7pm

Where: The Atrium at South Denver Cardiology Center at 1000 SouthPark Drive in Littleton, Colorado

What: Silent auction, dinner, multi-media presentation and more!

Why: To raise money to help with numerous projects including the following:

* Training & education materials for photographers
* Support with mailings, shipping of NILMDTS materials, etc
* Overhead & payroll for NILMDTS employees
* Costs associated with our move into our new complex in 2008

Tickets: Individual tickets are $100 each. We will provide a discounted rate to our member photographers. E-mail your ticket requests to headquar…

I hate these posts

I hate reading these posts..."where I've been"..."why I haven't been writing." Generally, I don't care why my favorite bloggers are having trouble writing. I just want them to write so I'll have something to read. I'm selfish that way. So I won't blame anybody if they really don't care about my reasons for being less-than-interesting these days. But I promise this isn't one of those posts. This post...my reason for not posting...is more than a lame excuse...it is something that gets to the very heart of me and my emotional well-being these last couple of weeks. (If you are particularly sensitive, you may not want to read about this.)

I work as an assistant prosecutor in the civil division of a county prosecutor's office. I do any legal work for the county/townships/departments/agencies/boards that isn't legal. It's generally a good job and the emotional investment is minimal. There are some cases that take more out of me t…

Mommy torment

I find it incredibly frustrating that I can find Disney Cars lawn furniture, bath accessories, lamps, and underwear...but cannot find a Disney Cars jacket in my son's size.

Welcome to the world Baby Joey!

My friend, Tracy (frequent reader and sometime commenter here), welcomed her son, Baby Joey, into this world on Monday afternoon. He weighs 7 lbs. 11 oz and is 20" long. Congratulations Tracy!


(This post was delayed for statistical information. Advanced technology gave us pictures before information...or maybe Tracy just wanted us to be patient and wait for the info.)

I think he's trying to make me look bad

The kindergarten teacher sent a note requesting we send an apple to class for a special fall activity.

I put Sam's apple in his lunchbox and said, "I'm putting this apple in your lunchbox for your special project in class...do not eat it for lunch."

"OK mommmy."

You can imagine my surprise when he gets in the minivan after school, opens his lunchbox, takes out the apple, and starts munching.

"Uh, Sam...wasn't that for a class project?" I questioned.

"I decided I would save it for the ride home. Besides, Ms.P. had extras."

oy! I figure I already have enough "bad mommy" points to last me the rest of the year.

See! You are appreciated!

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One of my public service clients sent me this beautiful yellow/orange/red rose with the above note.

It's nice to be reminded every now and then, don't you think?

I'm probably breaking some rule of etiquette

I only know Lisa from her blog and our email conversations. Not much, really...but I still feel like she is a sister somehow.

That is why it hit me so hard this morning when I received an email from her husband saying that she is really really sick. She is on a ventilator in the Intensive Care Unit...and he is very scared. I don't have any more details.

Lisa has always been so kind and thoughtful in the blogosphere. Even when life deals her crap, she finds it in her to leave kind words to inspire and motivate the rest of us. She has faced "more than her share" of the bad stuff and is entitled to some good. This is NOT fair.

I can only guess at what her family must be feeling right now. If Steve got sick... I feel physically ill at the mere thought.

Please, please, please keep Lisa in your thoughts, prayers, good vibes, or whatever it is you believe in.

Welcome to the world Baby Callan!

A friend from my June 2002 mommy board had her baby last night at 12:35am.

Baby Callan is a 7lbs 9oz and 22" long beautiful baby boy.

Congratulations to the whole family!

25w 6d pregnant

99 days to go (less if you figure on an early c-section).

Just keep breathing...

I may not survive kindergarten

So...after the great first day fiasco and the we must wait in the gym lecture of last week, I was hoping this week would be smoother. And it started off ok. Tuesday was relatively smooth except for the "reminder" note that our student would need a paint shirt for art class...when this is the first either of us have heard of it (and no, it wasn't in the handbook materials either...I checked).

And then there was yesterday...

...when I walked into the gym only to find it completely and totally EMPTY. No kid. NOBODY.

I wasn't late...there was still a line of children waiting for their bus on the front sidewalk. And yet, my child was nowhere to be found.

I looked a second time in the gym and there was NO-BODY.

I left the appointed place of the gym, as I think any rational person would do, walked into my son's kindergarten room, looked at the teacher and asked, rather curtly, "WHERE is Samuel?"

The teacher-of-the-many-rules looked startled, pointed at the gym, and…

Very Neighborly

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So this is what I came home to yesterday afternoon...

I know they say fences make good neighbors...and this is a pretty nice fence...and we didn't have to pay for it...but I can't help but feel a bit insulted. I mean, this is down the property line...right between our driveways...as though we've been encroaching on our neighbors or something.

I think it hurts a little extra because we've been, in my opinion, pretty good neighbors.

It's not like our animals or our kids run loose on their property (except for the ONE time our horses were let out of their pasture when we weren't home). OK...maybe our cat runs loose and gets into their garage (but this fence isn't going to stop a CAT).

We generally haven't used their driveway at all outside of the six months last year when we had a giant dumpster parked on ours and no way to get around it. Even then, we only went around the dumpster and right back onto our driveway as quickly as possible so as not to tear up …

Good thoughts

I don't like to do this because it can seem cheesy. But our friend, Lisa, who is raising money for her Light the Night walk, is in the hospital. Please think good thoughts for her.

My dirty little secrets

This has been like a pebble in my shoe and I'm going to try to shake it out here in a way that won't make me come back and delete this post later. I never want to regret what I write or what I say. But, for a while now, this has been a place for me to get the ugly out...and now it's time to take advantage of the space.

We were done. We had given most of the baby stuff away except for the stuff we thought might be "heirlooms" for Sam (or the stuff that had been recalled for safety reasons). I can't speak for Steve, but pregnancy was the LAST thing on my mind that fateful April Fools Day. Yes, April Fools Day was our conception day. Quite the hilarious joke, no?

I love this baby and have done my damnedest to "bond" with this baby. I dream of holding him (alive) and rocking him and nursing him and adding him to our family. But the simple truth is, this baby was not planned. This baby was...in simplest terms...an accident. In fact, I think I might go so f…

Miscellaneous thoughts

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The kindergarten teacher issues are my issues...Sam seems to like her...so I'm going to keep my mouth shut and see how it plays out...for now. I'm more than aware that part of my sensitivity is due to the fact that I've got hormones racing around inside me that make me more-than-slightly insane (just ask my husband). And really...I don't have to like her as long as she teaches my kid the appropriate things and doesn't make HIM miserable.
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I sent my sister's birthday card...and her birthday isn't even until the 10th! That's right...I'm EARLY! I'm hoping it makes up for the entire month of lateness surrounding her husband's birthday (hangs head in shame).
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Sam has been in kindergarten for two days and has already been programmed for three fundraisers. He actually looked at me yesterday afternoon and asked, in his sweet little …

Nope, I just don't like her

I tried to like the kindergarten teacher. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She's a kindergarten teacher after all...we're bound to have different personality types, her and I.

But today was the day I realized it's not just that our personality types don't mesh. It's that a genuinely do not like her (and where else can I say that openly but on my blog?).

See, after the fiasco that was Tuesday's pick up from school, I made sure to deliver my son to kindergarten this morning with a note...saying that I would be dropping him off and picking him up from school...he is not to ride the bus. When I arrived this afternoon for pickup, she smiled and overly sweet smile at me and said, "I've got him in there, don't worry." I don't THINK I looked worried...I THINK she was just being condescending. But I brushed it off.

I walked into the building while the teacher led several students out to their waiting buses. I stopped in the doorway and s…

For our friend

See that Light the Night balloon over there? ---->

Click on it and donate...for our friend, Lisa P.

Here is the email Lisa sent out...

I need your help raising money for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society - Western Pennsylvania & West Virginia Chapter. Greg and I will be participating in the Light the Night walk on the North Shore on October 4, 2007, and we would appreciate your sponsorship. We are hoping for donations in the $10 to $20 range, but anything you can give would be greatly appreciated. When you donate, you will be helping to fund lifesaving research and provide help and hope to thousands of families. To make an online donation, simply click on the above secure link. You will receive a confirmation by email detailing your donation. The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is a great organization, and we have benefitted directly from their generosity and support. This is now our chance to help give something back. Please contact me directly if you wish to donate, but are not co…

F is for failure...mommy failure

I forgot to send a note saying that Sam was going to get picked up from school...that he was not to ride the bus.

I didn't bring something for Sam to drink in the car on the ride home.

Upon arriving home, I was screamed at..."I want DADDY!"

I asked him how to fix it and he said, "Just leave me alone." He stormed up to his room and slammed the door.

And it all came crashing down on me...all the failure...all the inadequacy...all that facade I've so carefully built over the last five years...

I haven't cried like that in quite a while.

But the self-indulgence of a good cry was cut short by the call of the dirty laundry and the knowledge that I needed to feed Sam a snack before soccer practice.

Maybe I can redeem myself and end the day with a passing grade...a D is good enough, right?

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

You know that saying? You don't know what you've got until it's gone? Yeah, well, I've never had to even step aboard the mommy separation anxiety train until now. Really. Five years and four months and I've only had the experience of crying in a parking lot a couple of times...one of which was this morning. I feel as though I should say thank you to my husband...and say something profound about being a mother to the amazing creature that is my son. But all I feel right now is raw emotion.

You see, my baby boy is officially a kindergarten student. He went with smiles and excitement...and forgot to kiss me goodbye.

I went out to the parking lot and promptly started to cry.

Wha...??? After all this time, I'm going to cry?!?!

At fifteen months old, Sam started going to a daycare run by a mother-daughter team that I knew from my childhood neighborhood. In fact, I used to babysit the daughter when I was in high school and she was just a wee elementary school child. It…

Thanks to my son's racing obsession...

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Tonight, I was watching NHRA Mac Tools US Drag Racing Nationals with Samual and saw this car...



Naturally, I was curious about the design. On the "doors," it says, "Eric Blake Faulkner...In God's Hands...May 24, 2007."

CLERMONT, Ind. (August 24, 2007) - Mike Ashley, driver of the Torco Racing Fuels Dodge Charger R/T, will drive a special tribute car at the US Nationals designed by legendary Chip Foose and painted by the team at Illusions Custom Paint and Body. The car is part of a fundraising campaign for the Eric Blake Faulkner Foundation and, after its single-race campaign, will be sold to the highest bidder at the Barrett-Jackson Collector Car Auction, January 12-20, 2008 in Scottsdale, Ariz.

Losing a child is possibly the most tragic event a parent could ever face, and Donnie and Hollie Faulkner know that pain all too well. Their son, Eric Blake Faulkner, was stillborn on May 24, 2007, and the experience pushed the couple beyond their limits. Were it not for t…

I blame Steve

We were watching two baseball games on split screen tv...the Cubs on one side and the Indians on the other.

Steve wanted to take a nap.

So now we're watching The Wonder Pets on one side of the split screen and Thomas the Tank Engine on the other side of the split screen.

*sigh*