Anniversary or midlife crisis...take your pick

April 8th is here...so I'm going to complain here about some other things...in the hopes that they might distract me from...well...ALL OF IT.

Bankruptcy is over. But I messed up my bookkeeping and we owe a hefty federal income tax bill. Good thing we weren't planning a vacation this year. And good thing my husband isn't the "WTF were you doing?" type (which seems totally unfair...because I've realized I AM that type and I criticize WAY TOO much...but I digress). The thing is this...I have things I want to do...but I have ZERO patience and ZERO money. I want it all NOW. I don't want to have to plan and save and work (sheesh...I sound like Veruca Salt...but I'm not asking for luxury things...just normal everyday things).

My shower's been busted for more than a year. I have to use "the cats' bathroom." You know the one...with the kitty litter that is ALWAYS on the tile to step on...no matter HOW MANY TIMES I sweep it up. And I have to walk from one end of the house to the other...which is..."invigorating" is a good word for it.

My kitchen. One word...gross. There is a HOLE in the floor under my refrigerator. Not a small one...but one that critters obviously can fit through. The wall that my son divested of wallpaper SIX YEARS AGO is still in the same post-peel state (and yellow...SO yellow). But oh-my-heck...the THOUGHT of tearing it all up and re-doing it...yuck!

I desperately want a photography studio. I've found several options. But thanks to that hefty tax bill, I no longer have the money. Add to this the fact that I am not happy in my job and today is April 8th...and you have one surly b**** on your hands.

My body has widened and/or my husband has shrunk a lot of my clothes...so nothing fits (and I hate whatever does fit). So I need new clothes for work (at home I'm perfectly satisfied to wear pajamas).

I want to go bike-riding with my family. My husband has a broken bike tire. WHY WON'T HE TAKE IT IN TO BE FIXED?!?!

Both cars need repairs.

The horses need their hooves trimmed (*My husband is taking care of this this morning!).

I need to go to the DMV...it doesn't even matter why...I mean...it's the DMV...kill me now.

I need a camera battery and high-quality SD cards for my weddings this year.

The floors are filthy because it's spring thaw time and I have nine dogs. WHY the f*** do I have NINE dogs? Oh...I love them...but SOME DAYS...sigh...

I know, I know, I know...take it one thing at a time...

I feel so grown up!

I'm getting a dining room table! It seats TEN!

So you say you want to see it? Why, of course. What kind of blogger do you think I am, anyway? (don't answer that)

THIS dining room table is mine (all MINE...(evil laughter)...



Isn't it beautiful?!?! No more eating on tv trays wherever there is an empty seat!

Speaking of empty seats...seating space is woefully inadequate in our living room. SO...we're getting a sectional sofa too! Our sad little cheap sofa has a broken back. And our recliners aren't really all that comfortable.

So we're getting a small version (only four pieces) of this (the goofy looking woman is not included)...



Of course, we will have to rearrange all the baby paraphernalia (cradle, swing, bouncy seat, etc.) to make room. But I'm so excited we'll have a place to snuggle and chill out.

The renovation is finally feeling like it's finished and now we can furnish and LIVE in all our new space. I LOVE it!

Meals TOGETHER at a TABLE! I'm giddy with the excitement of it all! (In case all the capital letters and exclamation points didn't clue you in.)

I'm sure I will bore you with pictures once it is all delivered and settled in.

The comedy that is my life

I work in the civil division of the county prosecutor's office for my county. My clients include all elected officials, departments, agencies, commissions, boards, etc. One of my main clients is the county Health Department. I represent them in compliance cases...making citizens comply with the Health Code (which includes the solid waste regulation and sewer/plumbing codes).

Saturday's home mail delivery included a letter from the county Health Department informing me that my plumbing permit has expired and my home has not had the required final plumbing inspection as required by the Code.

My first reaction...well that's news to me. One would think that one's contractor would have that inspection done before leaving a job site. Apparently, this is an erroneous belief. The homeowner is actually responsible for said inspection. When I called my contractor and asked if he had had it done, he replied with, "Oh no, no, that's your responsibility." Thanks...it was so nice of you to share that bit of information with me.

My second thought...this department is my client...I am their legal counsel...they couldn't have CALLED me as a courtesy?!?! And, more to the point, if their own legal counsel is unaware of this requirement, how do they/we/I reasonably expect Joe Citizen to have knowledge of said requirement? When I asked this question...I was informed that they COULD give out a handy little reference sheet of requirements when a person applies for a permit, but they don't because it would be too much of a hassle to change, etc., if/when the requirements are changed by a change in the Code.

I have GOT to get out of government work before I lose my mind.

I am one lucky girl

So let me brag today about the best man in the whole wide world...MY husband.

Two nights ago it was 90+ degrees in our bedroom and I simply couldn't sleep. I went downstairs (which has a room air conditioner) and TRIED to sleep on the sofa which is an old sofabed. Now I don't know if you know anything about old sofabeds, but they are made of heavy steel and aren't quite comfortable in the sofa position (and since we don't have an actual mattress for the old sofabed, there is no chance of actually pulling it out and using it as a bed). So...I TRIED to sleep on the old sofabed sofa (how many times CAN I use the word sofa in one post? sofa, sofa, sofa...what a strange word. French...from Arabic. and it sounds weird if you say it enough. but I digress).

Anyway...

As I'm sure you could tell from yesterday's woe-is-me post, I was particularly tired and cranky after getting very little sleep on the old sofabed sofa. And yesterday was even hotter than the day before...which meant I was facing another LONG night on the old sofabed sofa.

So what does my husband do?

He takes us (and at least one of us was in a really bad mood) out to McDonald's for dinner and then to Home Depot to BUY AN AIR CONDITIONER FOR OUR BEDROOM!!!

I love that man!!!

I was so exhausted from the previous night's lack of sleep that I slept through and only got up to pee ONCE! Cool sheets...a cool breeze...the hum of the air conditioner for white noise. It was heaven!

I woke up this morning when Steve headed out to the barn to feed the horses and gave him a kiss and a thank you...even before we had brushed our teeth! Yes, I risked morning breath kisses (and that is huge for anyone who has ever experienced pregnancy gag reflexes). That is how thankful I was to him!

Just so nobody thinks I'm too spoiled...We had actually budgeted for this purchase in our home renovation loan but weren't sure we were going to be able to buy it when the living room ceiling collapsed and revealed structural issues that needed to be addressed. Luckily it all worked out. Because I would not have survived the summer on that old sofabed sofa. And given the fact that this is really only the second HOT day we've had this year...I have to give credit to my husband for making it happen.

The clothes dryer is upstairs

And there is one additional hole in a brand-new-freshly-painted wall.

The washer is in the process of being moved...and my kitchen is now covered in warm water. (Mel...imagine the shower scene from the Manville Apartment)

aaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don't husbands listen????????????????

Do I let the kid win and put up a Disney Cars shower curtain in the pretty purple bathroom? It will be ugly but it will make him happy. What to do, what to do...

So we compromised. I bought him a Disney Cars toy and he let me buy a butterfly shower curtain. :o)

New house?

Yeah...Umm...

I tried to burn it down.

Accidentally, of course!

Started cooking hamburgers on the stovetop and got distracted upstairs while organizing bills. Plum forgot until the dogs started acting weird and I smelled something funny. How I got downstairs without killing myself is a mystery to me...thankfully the contractors installed the handrail a couple days ago. I moved faster than I ever have.

I have now turned off the heat and opened the windows to get rid of the smell. And I've turned off the stovetop. I think I may have to sacrifice the frying pan. I am telling you...I need a keeper. And I think I'll have cereal for dinner.

Minor crisis (aka man crisis)

The television we just bought is broken. After weeks of listening to him whine about the living room not being finished so he couldn't hook it up, I finally broke down and told Steve I would let him place it in a temporary place until the living room is ready. Upon opening the box, however, we discovered the glass is suffering major internal cracks (the surface is still smooth but you can see the cracked glass on the inside). If anybody needs us, we'll be at the store returning the stupid thing.

Oh...and did I mention that I woke up this morning with a very sore back? No idea what I did to it.

I don't know...I'm beginning to think delivery service for a television that big should be required.

Update: Much to Steve's disappointment, the store did not have a replacement tv available and he will have to wait a few days to get one from another location. My back thanks whatever power was responsible for this turn of events. :o)

Quiet is good

Quiet is good...though not necessarily interesting to write or read about. I have sufficiently recovered from my post-birthday cake-induced sugar coma to come up with absolutely nothing to write about. And it is good.

The house: The contractor installed the trim upstairs yesterday, though I did not get a picture of it just yet. As soon as I touch up the paint, the second floor addition will be officially DONE! (8-10 week project my ass) Now we have work to do on the stairwell and the new and improved living room...and then the workers can get the heck out of my house! (Is it so much to ask, since they are there during the day, that they let the old dog out, instead of letting him poop on my living room floor? geez! Though, if you ask Steve, the even more annoying thing about their presence in our house is the collection of Market District coffee cups lined up on every available flat surface. We have a construction dumpster, for pete's sake. Is it SO hard to throw your trash away? Yes...we're ready to have them out of our house.)

Sam-a-lama: Is exhibiting some, shall we say, interesting behaviors. He has a trash bag full of loved toys he has to earn back by keeping his bedroom clean for the rest of this week. He had to write a note of apology to his daycare provider for his nasty attitude. It gets better when they're older, right?

Steve: What's there to say about the most amazing man in the world? I love him and I'm hoping he'll take me shopping for beads and a tattoo sometime soon. Yes, it's weird. No, there is no explanation.

The pets: All still alive and accounted for. One horse has a weird cough, but seems ok otherwise. At least one dog had worms. Hopefully the treatment got rid of them. One cat has decided he must sleep on the bed with us...and wakes us up with his yowling if he is somehow accidentally locked out of the room at night. Seven fish still alive...though I think I forgot to feed them yesterday...so maybe I better not speak too soon.

Crocheting: Moving along at a snail's pace. Everyone seems to think I should take time out from my favorite pastime to cook and clean. How do I dispel this notion?

Cooking and cleaning: We have one clean bowl and we ate KFC for dinner last night. If this isn't the reason I'm not getting crocheting done, then what is? hmmmm...

Work: I had to tell a client that I would not represent his stance on an issue that included, "putting it back in the judge's lap." I actually said the words, "No, I will not do that...I have to practice law in this county and I will not jeopardize my career for your indefensible position." I bet the complaints roll in to my boss upon his return from vacation.

Tonight: Valentine's card preparation with Sam. Should be fun.

Quiet is good.

The floor is done!

My arms are aching, my legs are throbbing, my left pinky finger is purple (note to self...remove finger before laying flooring down next to a wall), my ass hurts, and I am just plain tuckered out. I am too fat and old to be installing laminate flooring. All that stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down...it's just hard work!

When is President's Day? I would love a day off.

I need motivation

5pm and not one plank of flooring has been laid.

It has been a lovely day...but I need to get moving. Where is that crowbar to pry my butt out of this chair?

Moving furniture

My parents went to visit my Grandpa this past weekend. We sent them in our minivan so that they could bring home furniture. That sounds so weird. But the side of the house that used to be Grandma and Grandpa's is slated to be turned into a garage and work area...so everything must go and we're picking through the stuff like strangers at a garage sale. We each have decided to take certain pieces and we're all coordinating the big move across states to get each one where it needs to go.

So my parents took the minivan and loaded up three pieces for me. Grandma's hutch is now in my bedroom. It will eventually sit in the common area in our new second floor addition...as soon as we get it painted and get the flooring installed (we were supposed to do that this past weekend but I wasn't feeling up to par, so we're delaying plans for a week or so).

Years of growing up have a strange effect on the size of furniture. The three pieces were sitting in the minivan...with loads of room to spare. Funny. I remember them as bigger than that...the wall cabinet, the dresser, and the hutch...actually small enough that two of the three could be carried by one person without assistance.

And then there was the color...

My memory remembered it as green, so I was slightly surprised to find the hutch is painted gold. But the discovery of its true color...and the matching gold of the dresser and the table...made me giggle a little bit too. Now that I think of it, Grandma painted a lot of things gold. Grandma thought some gold paint made things fancier, I suppose. Grandma loved fancy things. Even if she never used most of her fancy things, but rather "“saved them for good."

Almost two states away, you can still see the dusty outlines where each egg of Grandma's egg collection sat on each shelf of the gold painted hutch. Grandma was a fan of Faberge eggs and that somehow translated into her very own little collection of pretty glassporcelain/porcelin eggs. And I, being completely disoriented by this entire episode of my life, can't bring myself to dust the gold painted hutch. I want to run back to my aunt and ask for all the pretty little eggs so that I can put them all back in their places. As if righting the egg collection will somehow make this whole scene right. But I don't need, nor do I really want, a dusty collection of pretty little eggs. What I want is gone forever. So I will dust off the outlines of the egg collection and move forward.

Do I refinish it? The gold paint is well worn off the right front corner of the dresser base for the hutch. Grandma or Grandpa would sit in the chair at the head of the dining room table and use that corner to hoist themselves up. Years of pushing themselves to a standing position are etched right there...worn into the wood like a recording of the lives that happened in that dining room. How do I sand that away? I suppose I could live with gold paint...

...but no. The little hutch will be refinished...and I will most likely cry while I do the work. No gold paint for me. No egg collection. Life moves forward.

I miss you Grandma.

Pre-Christmas quotes

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Sitting on the Polar Express train, in seating groups of four...Sam said, "Mommy, I wish there were four of us."

Good Christ...just throw me UNDER the train, kid!
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Sitting in the car on the way to WalMart...Steve said, "If Mommy behaves in WalMart then we can get milkshakes afterward."

Yeah...Mommy is the one who acts like she's lost her mind in WalMart.
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Standing in WalMart, placing a very expensive vacuum in our cart...Steve said, "This IS going in the blog, right?"

Yes world...he bought us a Dyson...isn't he a great guy? I'm sure there will be many a post where I rave about my new vacuum.
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Standing in the Home Depot parking lot, throwing stuff out of the minivan...I screamed, "I told you it wasn't going to f***ing fit! And you bought it anyway! You're an asshole!"

Clearly, I am FILLED with the Christmas spirit and lost the faking it facade there for a moment or two.
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Sitting on Santa's lap at the mall...Santa said, "What would you like for Christmas." Sam (the kid of endless I wants and gimmes) said, "I have no idea."

The next day Sam said to me, "Mommy, I think we should go back to the mall and tell Santa that he needs to bring Daddy a new train because I broke his." This kid gets the Christmas spirit already. I get all teary-eyed just thinking of his kindness.
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Last night, I said, "I can't believe I'm laying in my own bed in my own brand spankin' new master bedroom!"

Yep...furniture moved in and the first night's sleep was had. Aside from a bit of a chill because we have not yet figured out the ideal thermostat setting, it was a lovely way to spend Sunday night after a LONG weekend.
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This morning, on the phone with the contractor, "Great...so we're talking $2500 to put in the new living room ceiling?"

Sigh.
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Houston, we have a problem

So it would appear that our living room ceiling...the one that we thought needed cosmetic repairs from the great water cave-in of 2006...needs STRUCTURAL repairs.

Do you have any idea how much money is involved anytime my contractor says the word STRUCTURAL? And STRUCTUAL REPAIRS...well...that's just not a phrase you want to hear anytime in your life.

Oh.My.Freaking.Heck.

It would seem that one of the hand-hewn beams that form the structure for the living room ceiling is cracked...broken...busted. Half of it was apparently cut away at some point in history (that part of the house was built in 1840), in order to install something round (we're thinking a pipe chimney), substantially weakening the structure. Then, at some point, the damn thing broke all the way through and someone reinforced it with a piece of steel. Nice attempt, but not completely efficient...resulting in massive cracks in our ceiling plaster. We thought they were cosmetic and were willing to replace them at some time in the future. The waterfall episode moved up our timetable. Then...when the contractor went to remove the old fireplace yesterday, he was met by serious creaking and threatened collapse. It seems the fireplace may have been installed in an effort to lend some support to the sagging beam in the ceiling. Nice.

So...we now have a support column in the middle of our living room. And I'm waiting for the call about the price of this latest turn of events.

On a plus side, behind the old fireplace was, as suspected, a much larger living room doorway. It really opens up the room and changes the whole feel of the downstairs living areas. Plus, I will now be able to freely move furniture from one room to the other without having to remove doorframes in order to fit the larger pieces through. I LOVE it...as long as it doesn't cave in.

More pictures for home reno geeks like me

The golden peach colored painted (unfinished) stairwell, the new hanging light (which I think I actually like), and the cutest boy in the world...

The tub surround is almost finished. It matches the shower tile with a little extra flair in some decorative tile (that Steve won't mind telling you was $3 for each six inch piece...lol).


An attempt at some Christmas decoration on the only surface that didn't have crap piled on it already...



Off to clean so I can get my stairs done and my living room ceiling repaired this coming week!

I win, I win, I win!

My email to customer service:

Back in August, I ordered and received a tub/shower faucet. My contractor cannot use it in my home addition because it is not anti-scald. Can I return it? If so, what mailing address do I ship it to?
Keep smilin'
Catherine

Customer service reponse:

Hi,

Im sorry, Return and/or exchange of merchandise must take place within 7 days of receipt of product.

My return email:

I understand that is your standard policy. However, it is in an unopened box (still even has the plastic seal on the outside) and I would think that you wouldn't have sold me something that didn't comply with building regulations. Yet, you did. I would expect you to accept return of a part that is, in essence, useless under state law.

Catherine

I win, I win, I win!

Hi,
Please ship it back to us:

Please include the packing slip and the RMA # this will ensure proper credit.

We have progress!

Window trim is up...

Tile is on the bathroom floors...

Tile is in the shower...(isn't it pretty?)

Closet doors are up on the two smaller closets...

And there is actually one bedroom door hung!

Small steps...but we're getting there. Think we'll get it all done by Christmas? I hope so, but I'm doubtful. They've still got to build a staircase, repair the ceilings that caved in, and replace the trim for the doors and windows they installed on the first floor.

Dare I say it? I'm starting to see a light at the end of this tunnel!

My white whale...the red room

Thank you all for the painting advice. We're doing ok with every single room...except the red room. We now have three coats up and I'm debating bothering with another. If I can disguise enough with borders, wallies, signs, posters and curtains then the streaky effect might add to the juvenile feel to the room. I hope. But then again, it might just be my albatross...driving me crazy every single day when I walk into that room. Hard to tell.

This is not our first adventure in interior painting. And we have pretty much broken every rule there is out there...learning by trial and error, you might say. I wish someone had been around when we first bought this house to tell me I would NOT be happy with paint over wallpaper, no matter how lazy I might be. eeks! That room will be getting a re-do...no doubt about it. lol

We are using semi-gloss because we have six dogs and matte finish paint just doesn't hold up well to the dirt and grime. Semi-gloss looks a little shiny for my taste and does show more of the flaws in the wall and the paint job, but it's worth it for the easy wash-ability factor.

After this project is over, we will have painted every single wall in our home at least once. And I can honestly tell you that we will NEVER be painting red again ourselves. Hell...we'll never be painting any of the walls again. I'll pay somebody from now on...the thrill has definitely worn off.

So here is an update after yesterday's efforts...
Yes, you can see the schizophrenia going on in our lives illustrated by this room. Neutral colors as a guest room. Bright color ceiling fan...just in case...

MY closet...

The laundry room...

So every room is painted. Now we need to do the hallways and common areas and we will be done with walls. Now we have trim to debate. We are committed to purple trim in Sam's bathroom. The rest I'm not sure of. We're installing white doors and the trim is natural wood. I'm not sure whether to stain the trim or paint it to match the doors. We have almost all white trim in the downstairs of the house, so I think maybe I should do the same upstairs. And we'll have neutral carpet in the two small bedrooms, neutral tile in the bathrooms, and wood laminate in the master bedroom and the common area and hallways. Hmmm...decisions, decisions, decision...

crafts and construction

I logged onto etsy.com this morning, and I was faced with a whole page of crow-related merchandise on the front page. Weird.

And then I ordered my secret pal a present (shhhh...it's a surprise).

Speaking of crafty things...I finished the baby gift for my friend's baby girl. It is a shawl/cloak/wrap thing for babies. I modified it a bit in the pattern...and I put three buttons to close it, rather than a ribbon. The buttons make the it a bit more secure (and warm, I think). You'll have to pardon the model...it's the best I've got at my house these days.

I've picked up the knitting needles again and am giving it another try (after my stunning defeat last year). I was watching a television show about knitting the other day and realized I was holding the needles all wrong and making it way harder than it had to be. I'll let you know how it goes.

I sent out a pile of mother's bracelets. I love and hate them all at the same time.

I went to Lowe's last night to buy another can of red paint for Sam's room. This will be our third can and it still looks like crap. I'm at the point where I will be making the best of it and adding wallpaper borders to hide the rest. Anyway...I placed my paint order and then walked down the aisle where the race car outlet covers and switchplates are kept. I needed three more outlet covers (there are FIVE in Sam's room...don't ask me why). I grabbed the last three from the cupboard and started browsing the curtain selections further on down that same aisle. A woman and her two kids come down the aisle, stop at the race car stuff, and I hear her say, "But they don't have any outlet covers to match, honey." And here is where I admit to my own personal mental health issues...I ran away so she wouldn't see that I had taken the last three. Like I had done something wrong. What the hell?!?!

Some of the paint is up and the lights are going in!


If you're the praying type, please say a little prayer for Kellie and her Dad as they are both facing surgery tomorrow (though for very different reasons).

Painting...painting...and more painting

My arms ache and I need to buy more paint to complete the job.

Halloween is over. Sam was the only trick-or-treater in my parents' neighborhood (my mom says she saw others, but I question her sanity. Sam went to five houses...he counted them. At each house he announced, "Trick-or-Treat. I'm Sam!" I love that kid!

I saw my first Christmas commercial. Crest White Strips...with, "I'll Be Home for Christmas," as the music track. Crest White Strips will make my Christmas better...happier. Maybe I'll buy some.

And now...photos...because I'm too tired for anything else...

Siding almost complete (color = cypress green)

The purple bathroom (color = twinkle toes)...

Do you see it?

Siding on the FRONT of the house!