Sunday, August 30, 2009

Seasons change

Summer's over and I can honestly say that this summer was the first in a long line of summers that I have truly enjoyed without a shadow of sadness hanging over me. This is the first year in four years that I have felt just a little sad pulling my fall jacket out of the closet for my morning drive to work. The "experts" were right...it took four years to incorporate my grief into my life and find a way to happiness again.

Wow. I don't mind saying that it leaves me a bit bewildered/disoriented...to realize that all that crap happened...to US...and we survived and are quite happy with life right now.

Just...Wow.

And yet...it's September again. Due dates and unrealized dreams. Sounds like a bad B movie, doesn't it?

And so I busy myself with some online housekeeping...moving forward to maintain my grasp on that lovely summertime happiness.

I apologize to those whose blogs I can't read anymore. I have found that it is healthier for me to not subscribe to blogs about pregnancy and/or loss. I take a dip into those waters on the days I feel strong enough to handle it...but it has to be a purposeful decision. Having Google Reader give me "big news" of pregnancy or loss without proper warning is just too much of an invitation for the darkness to intrude again. So I hide. Please know it doesn't reflect how I feel about you...I wish only the best for you. I just need to function this way for now. (OK...so maybe I haven't incorporated it ALL as well as I'd like...but I'm working on it.)

I made a little survey of my blog archives and have found there are things I've posted that I wished I hadn't...and things I didn't that I wish I did. I'm particularly embarassed by all the "scheduled" things I wanted to post but never really did but one or two entries for each...Mutt Monday...Perfect Moment Monday...Whiskers on Wednesday...Thursday Challenge...Photo Friday...My 52 self-portraits. My 52 self-portrais is particularly disappointing, since another year will pass with only a handful of photos of me to pass on to my boys. Yes, I still think that way a lot. I can't help it...you just never know.

So anyway...I'm going to buck the trend and start up some regular items right now. Yes, I know it's the last day of August and these things traditionally start at the beginning of the year. But clearly I don't follow New Year's resolutions or I'd be a size 2, fluently speak several languages, have a clean house and all my crafty works-in-progress would actually be completed.

Take #563926...introducing the following regular items to appear here (with a little luck)...

~Perfect Moment Monday
~Whiskers on Wednesday
~Dogs on Thursday
~Photo Friday/PhotoHunt (depending on what mood strikes)
~Self-Portrait Saturday

Now that summer has passed us by, I have lots and lots of stuff to write about.

Sam luckily was assigned to the second grade teacher we were told is the "better" teacher for keeping kids focused. I think that means she's stricter...which is exactly what Sam needs. I'm already somewhat impressed because he came home from the first day of school with an entire folder of information for us to read. Though the first week passed without the promised behavior report, at least I'm not guessing about policies and procedures in her class. Sadly, Sam is already struggling with his work habits this year. He only finished his classwork on two of the four days last week. When asked about it, his immediate response was, "I wasn't talking." So...we're going to have to work on this some more I suppose. Thursday is the open house, so I hope to talk to the teacher about it at that time. Wish me luck.

This week brings Sam's first soccer practice for the season. He SAID he didn't want to play after last season because he "stinks" at soccer. But then the application came in the mail and we were pleasantly surprised when he decided he wanted to play after all. Soccer really isn't his sport...but it gets him out from in front of the TV and the video games (and gives me a couple hours each week for "me time") so I'm not going to complain.

Saturday is shopping day! I'm going to ditch the boys and spend the day with my mom doing some shopping for my brother's upcoming wedding in October. Kind of weird situation there...after doing my sister's wedding reception flowers and vowing never to do them again, mom and I are shopping for wedding reception flowers my soon-to-be-sister-in-law...who doesn't really even talk to me all that much. I have a basic color scheme to work with and that's about it. We invited her to join us but she declined. Should be interesting. Maybe I should warn her that we aren't really as trustworthy as maybe she thinks we are? lol!

In completely unrelated news...I never got my mom's costume done in time for this summer's medieval faire. She's asked me if I can get it done by September 12th for an event she's participating in. I foolishly said yes. Better find more time to sew this week. ack!

I think that's about it for now. Here's to more blogging!

3 comments:

Michele said...

Sometimes we just have to guard our hearts... That's okay. It happens. Sometimes it happens for a long time. And that's okay.

Sending hugs...

Aurelia said...

About Sam? Give him a few more weeks. Really, getting back into the swing of things is pretty damn hard.

Hennifer said...

Thanks for sharing! I'm always delighted to see when you've updated.

I look forward to seeing more photos of your crafts.