So let me tell you about the time my husband let a strange dog into our house in the middle of the night (last night)...
Every night, Steve goes downstairs at about 4am to let some of the dogs outside. Yes...every night. And he does it to protect me from the injury that would surely occur if I had to wobble my fat self on my bad knees down our wooden staircase in the dark with three or four dogs prancing the I-gotta-pee-dance all around. This is starting to sound like my Dad's I-walked-three-miles-to-school-in-the-snow-barefoot-uphill-both-ways story. But I digress...
So Steve takes three dogs down this morning, lets them out to do their business, lays himself down on the couch and promptly falls asleep. The sounds of barking wake him and he lets the crew in the house and four dogs stampede upstairs.
The commotion wakes me and I realize I have to pee...so I wade through the mass of unusually wiggly dog bodies to the bathroom. I don't put my glasses on or turn on the light, but I can see shapes and sizes by the illumination of the bathroom nighlight. As I sit on the toilet, Thunder, the big black lab who is our newest addition, starts pushing himself between me (on the toilet) and the wall. His giant body doesn't quite fit in the four inches, however, and I ask him, "Thunder, what is wrong with you? What are you doing?"
And then I hear fast and loud panting. Now you'd think this wouldn't be unusual with eight dogs in the house, but none of the eight do that loud panting unless they are really exerting themselves.
I look up and see what can only be described as a chocolate lab.
We don't own a chocolate lab.
I point in the dark and say, "Who's that?"
Steve comes around the corner and says, "Who's who? That's Thunder."
Me...motioning to Thunder who practically pushing me off the seat in his effort to hide behind the toilet now (big scared baby)...
"Uh...no...honey...THIS is Thunder...Turn on the light!"
Steve...sounding slightly amused and slightly alarmed,
"Cathy...that isn't our dog!"
I seriously can not type anymore because I'm laughing so hard.