Becci had her baby!
Born September 5th, 2006 at 5:16pm.
Weighing 8lbs 2oz and measuring 19 inches.
Congratulations mama!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
God is in the smelling
OK...so I'm not so fond of the prayers and good thoughts requests that seem to pervade online communities. But I feel the need to offer up some thanks today for the safety of our friends, H, C, and their little girl, A.
Whether an intervention of God, fate, or the universe...or just simply H's keen sense of smell...We are so glad you are all safe and sound (well, as sound as you were BEFORE you tried to burn your house down...hee hee). If you need anything, please let us know.
Whether an intervention of God, fate, or the universe...or just simply H's keen sense of smell...We are so glad you are all safe and sound (well, as sound as you were BEFORE you tried to burn your house down...hee hee). If you need anything, please let us know.
37 weeks
There is a good chance you would have been born by now. We'd be re-learning all about diapers and sleep deprivation.
9/23/06
That was supposed to be your day...our day.
It is less than one month away and I haven't fully contemplated that thought yet. I can't.
When Alex died, it was so near to his due date that it seemed to blur into the initial pain and sorrow. But this...this is like have a healing wound re-opened, inch by painful inch.
Each day that creeps by is another that I have time to contemplate that life where your soul remains...joyfully joining our family...in that parallel universe that is so far away from this reality. That existence where we are happy again and we don't look at everything through the lens of what should have been.
I haven't been dealing with it at all. I've been, quite simply, ignoring it all...fumbling my way through each day the best way I can. Ignorance is bliss, or so they say. So instead of doing the grief work I know I need to do, I've been irresponsible and have turned a blind eye. Why? Because I'm tired of always having to work at this. I'm tired of having to figure out ways just to get through each day. I don't *&%^#! care that it's going to get better if I just work my way through it.
Maybe I don't want it to get better. Maybe not this time.
My husband said to me, "I look at Sam brushing his teeth and think how there should be a little one-year-old running up behind him, trying to imitate his big brother." And what could I say? How could I choose which reality I would take back?
I dealt with losing Alex, so I suppose it's easier for me to put those ghosts to rest...more so than the more recent ones. I keep thinking how I should be hugely pregnant right now. How we could possibly be holding our baby boy. But then Sam brushes his teeth and I'm reminded how very different it ALL should be. Or someone calls who I haven't spoken to in a long time and they say, "Now, how are you? You obviously had your baby, since it's been years since I've talked to you." And all I can say is, "No," as it all crashes down around me...all of it...you and your brother and what should be. Old wounds are re-opened and I'm not sure they will ever heal. How can they?
I did a little dance this morning when my shirt buttoned in front. Not as comfortably as it should, but a far cry better than it did. That's progress, right? Progress...away from 37 weeks pregnant. Progress...away from 9/23/06. Progress...away from you.
Toward...what?
9/23/06
That was supposed to be your day...our day.
It is less than one month away and I haven't fully contemplated that thought yet. I can't.
When Alex died, it was so near to his due date that it seemed to blur into the initial pain and sorrow. But this...this is like have a healing wound re-opened, inch by painful inch.
Each day that creeps by is another that I have time to contemplate that life where your soul remains...joyfully joining our family...in that parallel universe that is so far away from this reality. That existence where we are happy again and we don't look at everything through the lens of what should have been.
I haven't been dealing with it at all. I've been, quite simply, ignoring it all...fumbling my way through each day the best way I can. Ignorance is bliss, or so they say. So instead of doing the grief work I know I need to do, I've been irresponsible and have turned a blind eye. Why? Because I'm tired of always having to work at this. I'm tired of having to figure out ways just to get through each day. I don't *&%^#! care that it's going to get better if I just work my way through it.
Maybe I don't want it to get better. Maybe not this time.
My husband said to me, "I look at Sam brushing his teeth and think how there should be a little one-year-old running up behind him, trying to imitate his big brother." And what could I say? How could I choose which reality I would take back?
I dealt with losing Alex, so I suppose it's easier for me to put those ghosts to rest...more so than the more recent ones. I keep thinking how I should be hugely pregnant right now. How we could possibly be holding our baby boy. But then Sam brushes his teeth and I'm reminded how very different it ALL should be. Or someone calls who I haven't spoken to in a long time and they say, "Now, how are you? You obviously had your baby, since it's been years since I've talked to you." And all I can say is, "No," as it all crashes down around me...all of it...you and your brother and what should be. Old wounds are re-opened and I'm not sure they will ever heal. How can they?
I did a little dance this morning when my shirt buttoned in front. Not as comfortably as it should, but a far cry better than it did. That's progress, right? Progress...away from 37 weeks pregnant. Progress...away from 9/23/06. Progress...away from you.
Toward...what?
Monday, September 04, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
uh...yeah
To the grocery store we go for vacuum cleaner bags...and beer.
Had a drip in the next room...punched a hole in the ceiling...and this poured out.
ummm...help
170 years of funk (no, you can't dance to it)
Since 7am, we have been bailing 170 years worth of funk as it drained from our open upstairs into our front room. We're tired. Why did I think we, of the horrible bad luck, should try a home renovation? 50 gallon tub...emptied four times...200 gallons of water in our front room. Oy!
Our contractor says we will laugh about this when all is said and done. Hysterical laughter of the insane has already come to visit...when discussing the smelly brown quality of the water we were bailing, Steve called it, "170 years worth of funk," and we both immediately decided that was a blog-worthy quote. We are sick individuals, there is no other explanation.
Friday, September 01, 2006
more customer service stories from the front lines
Have you ever used online customer support and gotten the distinct impression that the customer service representative has no clue what's going on? I give you this example from today...my experience with Takeshia
Takeshia: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service. How may I help you today?
You: My husband and I are on AMERICA'S CHOICE II FAMILY SHAREPLAN PRIMARY 500 ANYTIME $50.00 0205. He upgraded his phone today and agreed to a two year contract. I also would like to upgrade my phone (I am eligible for the new every two). Will any of this phone upgrading (agreeing to two year contracts) affect our plan?
Takeshia: I'd be happy to help you with that.
Takeshia: Only the primary line is eligible for the new every two discount.
You: Right...but he upgraded his online with an online discount.
Takeshia: If you log into my account select the upgrade my phone link at the bottom of the page, enter your number that you would like to upgrade, you will be informed what you are eligible for.
You: I know what I am eligible for. What I asked is if we both upgrade, and both agree to a 2-year contract, will that change our plan at all, or will we still be on the AMERICA'S CHOICE II FAMILY SHAREPLAN PRIMARY 500 ANYTIME $50.00 0205???
Takeshia: Your plan will be changed, because that plan is no longer offered.
You: what will it be changed to?
Takeshia: Please hold on while I check that information.
Takeshia: It will be your choice, but we have a plan that is 700min, for $ 69.99.
You: Is that the least expensive plan you have?
Takeshia: Yes, that is the least expensive share plan that we have.
You: will the switch take place automatically?
Takeshia: Yes, when you are going through the ordering process you will be informed that your plan is no longer available and you will be given a selection to choose from.
You: well...I just did the changes and it comes up as 2-year contract renewal...with no changes
You: thanks for your help anyway
Takeshia: Unfortunately, In this department I do not have access to your account information, but I can give you the number to customer care to verify your calling plan.
Takeshia: 1-800-922-0204
(long pause)
Takeshia: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
You: no thanks
Takeshia: Thank you for using our live chat service. We value your suggestions and would appreciate it if you would take a few moments to complete a brief survey. The survey will appear when you click the "Close" button in the chat window.
Takeshia: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat service. How may I help you today?
You: My husband and I are on AMERICA'S CHOICE II FAMILY SHAREPLAN PRIMARY 500 ANYTIME $50.00 0205. He upgraded his phone today and agreed to a two year contract. I also would like to upgrade my phone (I am eligible for the new every two). Will any of this phone upgrading (agreeing to two year contracts) affect our plan?
Takeshia: I'd be happy to help you with that.
Takeshia: Only the primary line is eligible for the new every two discount.
You: Right...but he upgraded his online with an online discount.
Takeshia: If you log into my account select the upgrade my phone link at the bottom of the page, enter your number that you would like to upgrade, you will be informed what you are eligible for.
You: I know what I am eligible for. What I asked is if we both upgrade, and both agree to a 2-year contract, will that change our plan at all, or will we still be on the AMERICA'S CHOICE II FAMILY SHAREPLAN PRIMARY 500 ANYTIME $50.00 0205???
Takeshia: Your plan will be changed, because that plan is no longer offered.
You: what will it be changed to?
Takeshia: Please hold on while I check that information.
Takeshia: It will be your choice, but we have a plan that is 700min, for $ 69.99.
You: Is that the least expensive plan you have?
Takeshia: Yes, that is the least expensive share plan that we have.
You: will the switch take place automatically?
Takeshia: Yes, when you are going through the ordering process you will be informed that your plan is no longer available and you will be given a selection to choose from.
You: well...I just did the changes and it comes up as 2-year contract renewal...with no changes
You: thanks for your help anyway
Takeshia: Unfortunately, In this department I do not have access to your account information, but I can give you the number to customer care to verify your calling plan.
Takeshia: 1-800-922-0204
(long pause)
Takeshia: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
You: no thanks
Takeshia: Thank you for using our live chat service. We value your suggestions and would appreciate it if you would take a few moments to complete a brief survey. The survey will appear when you click the "Close" button in the chat window.
Goodbye August 2006
My office neighbor proclaimed excitedly this morning, "It's September already!"
"Yes, yes it is," I whispered to myself as I fully realized all that is missing.
"Yes, yes it is," I whispered to myself as I fully realized all that is missing.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Welcome to the world Baby P!
Baby P (still first nameless) was born at 8:32am this morning, weighing 8 lbs 13oz and is 21 1/2" long. Mom and baby are doing well.
Congratulations crazylady Sarah!
Congratulations crazylady Sarah!
Cervical Mucus, the zit that ate my face, and bird poop
If you are anything other than a good friend, you may want to stop reading this post right now. Mom or any other relatives...I mean you. Because what follows is something that I have an uncontrollable urge to announce to the world via the internet, but wouldn't say in the presence of anyone in person.
I am experiencing what can only be described as a practical joke played on my by the fertility gods. Two dead kids? yeah...well how about enough cervical mucus to cover Ohio? I'm.Not.Kidding. Before I was pregnant with Alex and Travis, I experienced what I would call a "normal" amount of cervical mucus. Now...now I can't walk farther than ten feet without my pants being filled. It's, in a word, disgusting. I wipe and it's like a freakin egg was cracked in my hoo-ha. And with each wipe I think to myself, "Disgusting," and then, "Hilarious...I can hardly control the laughter." Again, I feel like sending a big old F*** You out to the universe/God/fate...whatever force decided NOW would be the time to hit me with apparent super-fertility.
And through it all, I keep thinking to myself, "My nails, my hair, my skin...they all look great." And then...then do you know what happens? The post-pregnancy hair loss begins round about the beginning of the week...and a GIANT zit forms on my chin sometime during the night last night. Seriously, this thing is so big it needs its own zip code at this point. And here's where I am emotionally. Normally right about now, if I had had a LIVING baby, these things would be happening to me but I would be so exhausted from taking care of an infant that I so wouldn't care. Well guess what?!?! I CARE NOW! There is nothing like a handful of hair in the bathtub drain...and a giant red beacon on my chin...to remind me that I DON'T have a baby. So I cry as I clean the hair out of the tub. And I cry when I'm trying to cover the giant zit with makeup. Yeah...that's funny too.
But the bright side? At least I haven't been shit on by a bird. Uh...HADN'T been shit on by a bird. That's right. Out and about at lunch today, somewhere between the post office and the deli, a little birdie dropped a brown poop right on my left boob. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! So I ducked into the nearest county building...into the bathroom...had a good cry and washed my boob. And what do you think happened? Two things. First, there was someone in a stall that I didn't realize was there. I tried to laugh it off, but I'm afraid all that did was prove to her how absolutely mentally unstable I am. I only hope that she follows the girl code of ethics and does not reveal the secrets shared, however inadvertently, in the women's bathroom.
The second thing that happened? Oh, you'll love this as much as I do, I'm sure. The washing of the boob left a wet spot...on my boob...circular...that looked suspiciously like...oh HELL...it looked like my breast was leaking. And it wouldn't dry. And I was in a bathroom that didn't have those automated dryers (damn cheap county I work in). But the lady in the bathroom reassured me that she wouldn't notice something like that anyway (she so lied) and so I said, "I give up," and walked out. I still hadn't gotten my lunch and my stomach was protesting the prolonged drying time in the bathroom. So I walked out the bathroom, out the building, down the street, into the deli, and back to my office. I ran into two types of people. The people who didn't know me and stared (yeah, you're not going to notice the big water stain on a woman's left boob...give me a break). And the people who did know me, know my story, and assumed...yeah. I'm going to find that f***ing bird and kill it with my shoe. And I will take great pleasure in doing so. Because the sympathetic looks and the over-niceness of people over my wet boob was JUST.TOO.MUCH.
On the walk back to the office, I started to laugh. Yeah, crying too, but laughing nonetheless. What's next? A plague of locusts? It's laughable at this point. The last time I was shit on by a bird was when I was 15 or 16. We were at the community pool and an overprotective-of-his-turf pigeon shit on me. I thought THAT was embarrassing.
So here I sit...a load in my hoo-ha, a huge zit occupying prime real estate on my face, a shit stain on my shirt, and a wet boob...laughing hysterically as though I've lost my mind.
I think maybe I finally have.
I am experiencing what can only be described as a practical joke played on my by the fertility gods. Two dead kids? yeah...well how about enough cervical mucus to cover Ohio? I'm.Not.Kidding. Before I was pregnant with Alex and Travis, I experienced what I would call a "normal" amount of cervical mucus. Now...now I can't walk farther than ten feet without my pants being filled. It's, in a word, disgusting. I wipe and it's like a freakin egg was cracked in my hoo-ha. And with each wipe I think to myself, "Disgusting," and then, "Hilarious...I can hardly control the laughter." Again, I feel like sending a big old F*** You out to the universe/God/fate...whatever force decided NOW would be the time to hit me with apparent super-fertility.
And through it all, I keep thinking to myself, "My nails, my hair, my skin...they all look great." And then...then do you know what happens? The post-pregnancy hair loss begins round about the beginning of the week...and a GIANT zit forms on my chin sometime during the night last night. Seriously, this thing is so big it needs its own zip code at this point. And here's where I am emotionally. Normally right about now, if I had had a LIVING baby, these things would be happening to me but I would be so exhausted from taking care of an infant that I so wouldn't care. Well guess what?!?! I CARE NOW! There is nothing like a handful of hair in the bathtub drain...and a giant red beacon on my chin...to remind me that I DON'T have a baby. So I cry as I clean the hair out of the tub. And I cry when I'm trying to cover the giant zit with makeup. Yeah...that's funny too.
But the bright side? At least I haven't been shit on by a bird. Uh...HADN'T been shit on by a bird. That's right. Out and about at lunch today, somewhere between the post office and the deli, a little birdie dropped a brown poop right on my left boob. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! So I ducked into the nearest county building...into the bathroom...had a good cry and washed my boob. And what do you think happened? Two things. First, there was someone in a stall that I didn't realize was there. I tried to laugh it off, but I'm afraid all that did was prove to her how absolutely mentally unstable I am. I only hope that she follows the girl code of ethics and does not reveal the secrets shared, however inadvertently, in the women's bathroom.
The second thing that happened? Oh, you'll love this as much as I do, I'm sure. The washing of the boob left a wet spot...on my boob...circular...that looked suspiciously like...oh HELL...it looked like my breast was leaking. And it wouldn't dry. And I was in a bathroom that didn't have those automated dryers (damn cheap county I work in). But the lady in the bathroom reassured me that she wouldn't notice something like that anyway (she so lied) and so I said, "I give up," and walked out. I still hadn't gotten my lunch and my stomach was protesting the prolonged drying time in the bathroom. So I walked out the bathroom, out the building, down the street, into the deli, and back to my office. I ran into two types of people. The people who didn't know me and stared (yeah, you're not going to notice the big water stain on a woman's left boob...give me a break). And the people who did know me, know my story, and assumed...yeah. I'm going to find that f***ing bird and kill it with my shoe. And I will take great pleasure in doing so. Because the sympathetic looks and the over-niceness of people over my wet boob was JUST.TOO.MUCH.
On the walk back to the office, I started to laugh. Yeah, crying too, but laughing nonetheless. What's next? A plague of locusts? It's laughable at this point. The last time I was shit on by a bird was when I was 15 or 16. We were at the community pool and an overprotective-of-his-turf pigeon shit on me. I thought THAT was embarrassing.
So here I sit...a load in my hoo-ha, a huge zit occupying prime real estate on my face, a shit stain on my shirt, and a wet boob...laughing hysterically as though I've lost my mind.
I think maybe I finally have.
Welcome to Ohio...hiccup
Three of Ohio's big cities rank on the list of America's Drunkest Cities.
#3 Columbus, OH
#7 Cleveland, OH
#16 Cincinnati, OH
I think,in fact, that is ALL of Ohio's big cities, is it not?
Interesting...Do I live here because I'm a drunk? or am I drunk because I live here?
It certainly explains a lot about the people I deal with on a daily basis. Some of whom I suspect are drunk right now at 9:19 in the morning.
#3 Columbus, OH
#7 Cleveland, OH
#16 Cincinnati, OH
I think,in fact, that is ALL of Ohio's big cities, is it not?
Interesting...Do I live here because I'm a drunk? or am I drunk because I live here?
It certainly explains a lot about the people I deal with on a daily basis. Some of whom I suspect are drunk right now at 9:19 in the morning.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
What do you think?
When you get the email from Classmates.com that says that 3 people were searching for you...are they telling the truth or is it just clever marketing?
When someone says, "Nice jacket," instead of, "You look nice,"...is it a compliment or not?
When you meet up with someone and they casually ask you, "How are you?" and you just as casually reply, "Fine, how are you?" and they give you THAT look...do you acknowledge that they wanted a REAL answer or do you just move on to idle chit chat?
There is a new photo of Angelina Jolie on the Yahoo front page...what did she do to her lips?
I'm thinking of selling something on eBay to make some money to donate to charity. I just need to come up with a clever 'something.' Thoughts?
If you know someone is making a mistake, do you tell them you think they're making a mistake? or do you hold your tongue and let them learn for themselves?
Happy schmappy...I still don't want to talk about it. So is it wrong to sidestep all conversations regarding babies of any variety?
So many more life questions need answering today than I am capable of handling...I'm sure I'll be back with more.
When someone says, "Nice jacket," instead of, "You look nice,"...is it a compliment or not?
When you meet up with someone and they casually ask you, "How are you?" and you just as casually reply, "Fine, how are you?" and they give you THAT look...do you acknowledge that they wanted a REAL answer or do you just move on to idle chit chat?
There is a new photo of Angelina Jolie on the Yahoo front page...what did she do to her lips?
I'm thinking of selling something on eBay to make some money to donate to charity. I just need to come up with a clever 'something.' Thoughts?
If you know someone is making a mistake, do you tell them you think they're making a mistake? or do you hold your tongue and let them learn for themselves?
Happy schmappy...I still don't want to talk about it. So is it wrong to sidestep all conversations regarding babies of any variety?
So many more life questions need answering today than I am capable of handling...I'm sure I'll be back with more.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
If it weren't for bad luck...
...we wouldn't have any luck at all.
Dear Catherine:
Thank you for your patience.
While we are currently out of stock of 4" thick Black granite stones, there is an alternative if it would be acceptable to your cemetery.
We have 4" thick granite slab available (a large piece that can be cut down to any size), but we can only saw through the first 3". The last inch is separated mechanically, resulting in a rough edge at the bottom inch. If the marker is mounted flush with the ground, this should not make any difference, as the sides are buried in the ground with only the marker face exposed. If the marker is placed on a foundation and rests above the grass level, then this would not be acceptable.
If you would like to verify with the cemetery that it does not matter if the sides are sawed for the top 3" and rock pitched at the bottom 1", then we can accept your order and prepare the marker.
Otherwise, it would take two to four months to order the stone in the desired size (our Black granite is shipped from India).
I am sorry to make something that should be simple appear to be so complicated. If I can provide any additional information or if you should have any questions, please let me know.
Sincerely,
Gary - Customer Service
Even THIS has to be hard?!?! F*** you universe!
Dear Catherine:
Thank you for your patience.
While we are currently out of stock of 4" thick Black granite stones, there is an alternative if it would be acceptable to your cemetery.
We have 4" thick granite slab available (a large piece that can be cut down to any size), but we can only saw through the first 3". The last inch is separated mechanically, resulting in a rough edge at the bottom inch. If the marker is mounted flush with the ground, this should not make any difference, as the sides are buried in the ground with only the marker face exposed. If the marker is placed on a foundation and rests above the grass level, then this would not be acceptable.
If you would like to verify with the cemetery that it does not matter if the sides are sawed for the top 3" and rock pitched at the bottom 1", then we can accept your order and prepare the marker.
Otherwise, it would take two to four months to order the stone in the desired size (our Black granite is shipped from India).
I am sorry to make something that should be simple appear to be so complicated. If I can provide any additional information or if you should have any questions, please let me know.
Sincerely,
Gary - Customer Service
Even THIS has to be hard?!?! F*** you universe!
Thinking only good thoughts
My friend Kathi went for her scheduled c-section today to deliver her daughter, Grace, into this world. Is it wrong that I'm terrified for them? Kathi is one of those friends who "gets it," so I know she won't mind I'm finally saying this out loud (she reads and comments here pretty regularly). She has battled seriously high blood pressure throughout her entire pregnancy (we're talking stroke levels). And though I never said a negative word to her about it...Oh.my.God...I cry when I think about it all.
Good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts...
-------------------------------
Grace Emerson made her way safely into the world around 12:15 this afternoon. She is 7 lbs and 22" long. Mommy and baby are doing well.
CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND!
WELCOME TO THE WORLD BABY GRACE!
Good thoughts, good thoughts, good thoughts...
-------------------------------
Grace Emerson made her way safely into the world around 12:15 this afternoon. She is 7 lbs and 22" long. Mommy and baby are doing well.
CONGRATULATIONS MY FRIEND!
WELCOME TO THE WORLD BABY GRACE!
Got this in an email...
...and thought I would share it despite its false reference to Audrey Hepburn as the author (see correction below).
----------------------------
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives and the passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.
----------------------------
(Proving that even the famous go in for glurge, Audrey Hepburn (1929-1993) did not write the quoted list of beauty tips, although she claimed it as one of her favorites and quoted it in public a number of times. Its true author is humorist Sam Levenson (he who said "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children").) Snopes.com
----------------------------
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives and the passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.
----------------------------
(Proving that even the famous go in for glurge, Audrey Hepburn (1929-1993) did not write the quoted list of beauty tips, although she claimed it as one of her favorites and quoted it in public a number of times. Its true author is humorist Sam Levenson (he who said "Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children").) Snopes.com
Inner peace
*My husband just sent this to me. Sounds like a good plan to me.*
By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace was to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and before leaving the house this morning I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of the Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, a bag of Doritos and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace was to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and before leaving the house this morning I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of the Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, a bag of Doritos and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
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