First...so as not to bury the lead...Little Bug is still alive.
The nurse said I can come in every week if need be...at which time I sobbed.
I had what was possibly the longest cant-find-the-heartbeat-with-the-damn-doppler session EVER...during which I cried but did not sob.
Waited what-seemed-like-forever-but-was-really-two-minutes for Dr. A to come do an ultrsound...sobbed again when asked how I was doing.
Took a little too long to find the little booger with the ultrasound (I couldn't look at first)...but s/he was there...heart beating away. Dr. A used the u/s doppler so I could hear it...just to reassure me that it was really there and doing ok.
I must have apologized 20 times. He said it was ok...I can come in every week if I have to. He said that in most normal pregnancies, there is a honeymoon period where you don't "feel pregnant." We had a sick laugh at that. Normal. Me? Well I guess there is a first time for everything, huh?
And then I was that woman again...walking through the waiting room with red rimmed eyes. But this time it was all ok.
How did I become this person? Never mind...I know how it happened. Giant mindfuck is the PERFECT description. Maybe I should add that as a label for these types of crazy blog posts.