Thursday, December 20, 2007

One month



One month.

I cannot even process the fact that life was different just one month ago...

...so very different.

I see pictures of myself pregnant...pictures in the hospital as we waited for the operating room on that day...and it seems as if it happened to someone else. I KNOW it happened to me...to us. But there is something in me that has compartmentalized all of that somewhere where I just can't feel it.

It makes me a little sad to not be able to look back with fondness...to not be able to say I so loved that part of my life. But the fact is I didn't. I hated it. And I only did it so I could get here...to this part of my life that has been waiting for me for over two years.

Two years...

Yesterday afternoon I pulled my minivan through the drive-through at Hardees with two boys strapped into their respective carseats. This was the dream so long ago.

I remembered sitting in the car dealership with my pregnant belly protruding out from under my winter coat...trading in the little car for the spacious minivan that would carry two different boys around. I remembered smiling as we talked about family with the salesman. That smile has been gone for so long. But yesterday I TRULY felt it return. I'm sure the drivethru workers thought I was crazy smiling so much as I accepted my cheeseburger and sprite.

It's been a lovely month. I won't lie and say it hasn't brought some challenges. But I'll take this life over my life of just one month ago...no question.

And I'll take it with a smile on my face.

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8lbs 11ozs (25th percentile)
21 3/4 inches (50th percentile)

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***announcements by Sherry at Heartstrings Announcements.

10 comments:

DD said...

That announcement? Made me weepy: "Carried with Hope"...

Kathy McC said...

Gorgeous boys. I am so very happy for you.

Marcia said...

And why is it that I have tears with my big smile? Ah, I see above that dd had the same reaction! :) I am just so, so happy for you, Catherine! Absolutely beautiful and perfect birth announcements. I love the look of wonder on Sam's face. Put that somewhere where you can reflect on it when Myles starts getting into Sam's things a year from now :)

Marcia said...

Just looking at those numbers again...it should be noted that those may be in the 25th and 50th percentiles for babies at one month of age who were in utero for the full forty weeks. But given that fact that Myles wasn't really due to appear until this coming weekend, he would have been well above average weight and length for a newborn. Seems that should be taken into account in those percentile figures. Picky retired nurse,here....but I just don't want anyone getting nervous about him being in the 25th percentile of weight, when, in fact, he is doing marvelously well. He's gained two pounds since coming home! Yeah!

Aurelia said...

That picture is lovely, absolutely wonderful. I'm so glad you all are happy and peaceful together.

Angel Mom said...

Beautiful.

Sherry said...

Absolutely beautiful - there are just no words.

Angela said...

That announcement is lovely.

neko said...

One month... such a lovely thing. Cheers, much love to you all.

Stephanie said...

It makes my heart feel full when I see that announcement. Such beautiful boys, such a beautiful mother, such a wonderful family.