Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas recap

So...Christmas is over and it's back to the daily grind.

one sec...screaming baby...

so as I was saying (forgive me if this is a bit disjointed...I'm still feeling a bit of a Christmas food hangover)...

The presents were unwrapped and there was only one, "I already have that," (which was totally and completely Steve's fault). The food was good and plentiful. The company got along and there were no harsh words or arguments.

And my dishes are all washed! It's a Christmas miracle!

Sam says his favorite part of Christmas was him and Daddy opening his present from Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Pete. I'm trying not to take it as a personal slight...I'm sure I was still Myles' favorite part of Christmas (or at least my boobs were).

So Christmas is over and we're back to the everyday business of living. Work beckons and I'm trying very hard to pretend I don't hear. But the bill collectors keep insisting that I earn them some money.

And so begins the process of strategizing each day as though I were planning to invade a small country. Blocks of time to section off for domestic chores, "real" work, and simply paying attention to my children.

You know, I still can't get used to saying that...children...it's weird.

There have been, over the course of the past few weeks, moments where I couldn't help but feel the absence of the two small souls who left us too soon. And tonight the empty spots became gaping holes as we sat at dinner and Steve asked Sam, "Are you looking forward to when Myles can talk?"

Yes, there are empty places. Yet it has taken me HOURS to write this piece of cr@p entry. And I have to go tend to a screaming baby again...

It's more good than bad I suppose. The business keeps my mind from dwelling on those empty places.

Now if someone could do something about the dog's gas, I would be pretty happy.

4 comments:

Laura said...

I'm still trying to get my brain around this Christmas. I think you're right--it was more good than bad, but still, those gaping holes. It's so hard to ignore.

I think that boobies were Ben's favorite part of Christmas, too :)

Dangit, I've GOT to send you what I'm sending you or Myles is going to totally outgrow it. I have no concept of time right now.

Rosepetal said...

There are still empty spaces but I'm so very glad that it's more good than bad. Just that is a major major achievement.

Wishing you a very happy 2008.

miraclebaby said...

I'm missing the empty spaces, too. SO glad that Myles is here safe and sound.

Julia said...

I don't think it will ever be possible to not dwell, at least not during these seasons ripe with meaning. More good than bad is good. it's an achievement, indeed, a milestone.