Friday, November 02, 2007

Miscellaneous thoughts

Our son tried to punch someone yesterday. Our son lied to his teacher about having a coat to wear yesterday. Our son (and his parents) are now dealing with no tv privileges for a week. Let the acting out begin. Fun times.
I know that the character of baby's movement changes as there gets to be less room in there (that's why we count them and aren't asked to describe them). But it is disconcerting nonetheless. I keep thinking, what if there is another infection and he's getting sick? Of course, I have none of the symptoms I had with Alex, but I can't stop my overactive imagination from going there. And then that leads me to the invention of symptoms. I have all these bruises and lumps from the I worry about it uterine tenderness due to infection? is it ligament or scar tissue stretching? is it just an elbow in a bruised spot?

I described it to my husband as the beginning of a downward spiral that will continue for the next 23 days. I don't think he's looking forward to the increased madness. But quite frankly, neither am I.
My office manager asked if we were having a baby shower for me BB or AB (before baby or after baby).
I said, "After...let's just be sure it lives, ok?"
She flinched and said, "Oh, don't make me cry."
Don't make YOU cry? Seriously?
Sam didn't need the coffee can on Thursday after all.
I still get brownie points for the effort, right?
I mailed off a bunch of MOM bracelets yesterday. I always feel such a mix of emotions with each shipment. On the one hand, I'm glad I can create something positive out of my crapfest of experience. But on the other hand, I see all those grieving moms...all those lost children...and it just makes me so very sad.
I'm in need of mommy advice. Sam enjoys daycare. In fact, he prefers daycare to kindergarten. No surprise there, since daycare is pretty much free play all day while kindergarten is a very structured learning environment. So here's the thing... If I take leave with the baby, do I have Sam stay home with us or do I send him to daycare like normal, or do I send him to daycare on a reduced schedule? I don't want to upset his world completely, but I don't want him to feel excluded either (and selfishly, I would love to have him home with me). I'm leaning toward a reduced daycare schedule...maybe one day a week. But then I think maybe I'm idealizing the post c-section scenario and I'll really just want him out of my hair as much as possible. Thoughts? Suggestions? Ideas?
I bought the jumperoo on sale on Amazon (with free shipping) and it arrived Thursday.
Three days ago, when I told him that we had to spend the weekend rearranging furniture to accommodate a baby, Steve said to me, "So this is really going to happen, huh?" All I could manage was, "Let's act like it is and hope so."
I apparently cannot read. I packaged up my Secret Pal package to send to the United a "Domestic use only" box. So, I bought some brown wrapping and disguised it as an international box. I then had to pay an arm and a leg to ship it. While I enjoyed shopping for my pal, I think I will limit myself to domestic pals from now on (or else I will go broke on shipping alone).
My dear friend, Cynthia, her husband, and her little boy, drove down from the frozen tundra of Canada for a little visit yesterday. We met up in Erie, PA and had a lovely lunch together. I would have invited them to my house, but the dust/dog hair bunnies are currently threatening to take over and I was just too embarrassed. I'm not sure the husbands had such a great time, but they were very sweet and entertained the kiddos while we gabbed.
I have projects galore in the works (hence, my lack of posts). I will update with photos sometime soon. I promise.


Chaotic One said...

I think it would be great to let Sam spend some time with you when the time comes. However, kids still need their routines and structure. If it were me, I would probably keep him home two days a week so that he still had time with mommy, but also maintain some normalcy in his routine. With that said, after my c-section, I needed all the help I could get for a while and as much as I love the kids, it was difficult to try to tend to their needs those firt couple of weeks. You'll also want to spend some alone time with the baby just taking him in. You'll also need to adjust to the new changes and develop your own routine.

Frankly, I think your mommy instinct will tell you what to do.

kate said...

i would say, send him to daycare as usual, if he likes it there. That way his day-to-day is disrupted as little as possible. But be flexible with it -- maybe he will want to be home with you & the baby more. Or maybe *you* will want him home more. you will see.

Holley said...

OH dear merciful heavens use the daycare.

You will be a zombie for the first few weeks, even with the easier recovery from a planned c-section. Newborns really are eating & pooping machines. ALL THE TIME.

(End voice of experience.)

Seriously, keep him to his schedule as much as possible at first and then maybe do daycare two or three days a week for the rest of your leave.

Aurelia said...

Keep him in daycare for awhile, same schedule, then see what happens.

Reality is that you have very little mat. leave and as soon as you get him used to being home he'd be right back to daycare. And it's not like you'd be having much fun with him'll be taking care of the new baby, and he won't enjoy that very much.

Kendra's mom said...

I agree with other commenters. Stick to his normal routine as much as possible. You will be needing time for yourself and Myles. But if he feels quite strongly about staying at home then let him choose. The trick is to involve him as much as possible and let him help you as much as you can.

MB said...

On the daycare issue, I can only relate my own experience... I worried about the same things you are. We gave G the first week after off. After that, the chaos was too much and she asked to go back. Worked out well that she made the choice. You'll figure it out.

Hang in there. I won't say it gets easier, it just gets different.


Bon said...

twenty days left of that twenty-three. i know the madness of which you speak, and sympathize.

thinking of you, a lot.

and i agree with the rest, maybe keep him home a day or two, but mostly stick to his routine. you may be in shock just from all going so well that you'll need to recover. seriously.

Sherri said...

chiming in to agree with the others - My vote/suggestion is to plan to keep using daycare, but with the option to at the last minute decide not to use it on certain days if the mood and everyone's demeanor/patience level/level of rested-ness (is that a word?) call for it! A new baby who needs lots of attention and a healing mommy will already be a whole set of adjustments for big brother Sam - he might just welcome the couple of extra hours of regular routine!

Shinny said...

So who will be acting out more with the lack of TV? Mom, dad or Sam? ;) How did the weekend go?

I wish I could come visit and clean the house for you before the baby gets here. I so know what you mean with the dog hair dust bunnies. We have that plus add in 3 cats worth of hair as well. Took me one whole weekend to get rid of it all from just two rooms at my house and within hours they were back. Maybe we need to register for one of the robot vaccum (sp?) things?

I agree with the others to let Sam keep going to daycare. Especially if he likes that and kindergarten is not so much fun these days. Then gear yourself up for when he does get home at night and hand off the baby to Steve for a bit and have a hour of just Mommy and Sam time? I guess it will depend on Sam as well, is he really going to be into the baby or will it just be, "yeah it's a baby now where is my dinner" kind of thing.

Good luck with your decisions.

Hennifer said...

when I had my daughter I was very happy, and so was my son to go off to daycare. He still got plenty of bonding time with his new sibling and recovery from a c-section is never easy! At least for the first couple weeks I would enjoy the quiet time as long as he's doing all right. As everyone else said, your mommy instinct, and Sam's over all behavior will guide you. And it will be easier to pull him out if you decide you want him home more and it would be more difficult to decide later you want more child care, at least if your day care is anything like mine. Sending blessed thoughts to you and your family during these last few weeks.

Carole said...

I vote for the daycare...even if it's just a couple days a week. My recoveries from subsequent c-sections were better than I remember from the first one...but it's still no picnic.

I'll be thinking of you over these days to come...

JMB said...

Personally, with my two year old, I elected to continue on with daycare per his usual routine. Part of it is selfish-he's a handful, plus a baby who has turned out to not be so laid back, and it really has been for the best. I can handle them both alone (I have had to do it since she was two days old due to my husband's work schedule), but I don't think that I'm doing anyone any favors when I am stressed out and can't devote any decent time to either one. I do admit to feeling guilty some days, but he had me all to himself for those first twelve weeks, so #2 deserves that as well. He also is in a great Montessori program, and I don't want to slow down his progress.

It may be a little different for a kindergarten age child, but keeping routine can be comforting considering that Sam's world is going to be changed considerably. He may "get it" at some levels, but until the reality hits, its all up in the air as to how he will react. Do what your gut and your knowledge of Sam dictates.

Good luck!