Saturday, May 12, 2007

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Thank you to everyone for their kind words this past week. The depth of pain this year startled me because I thought I was "doing so well." It was a rough week, but we made it we always do.
Thank you to the MOM Project for the beautiful flowers in memory of Travis and Alex.

My office neighbor passed the bar exam! Congratulations to him! Now I won't have to listen to him complain about it ever again! Yay for me!
Tori & Dean: Inn Love - Hilarious! And the good news's been renewed for a second season.
What: Sam's 5th birthday party
Where: ToysRUs playland

Can I tell you how RELIEVED I am?
We had requested information and a preliminary application from an adoption agency a while back. We read their information and weren't completely satisfied, so we decided not to fill out the application for them (we did choose another agency and were thinking of filling out their application know). Anyway...uncomfortable agency emailed us a couple days ago, attempting to make "matches" with two potential birthmothers in PA. They don't even have our preliminary application and they're trying to match us? We could be axe murderers for all they know. Definitely glad we went with our gut and avoided that one.
If you are a blogger friend and you are pregnant, you need to leave me a comment to let me know whether you are having a boy or a girl. I'm itching to stitch for live babies and ya'll will just have to feed my obsession.
Thank you to my office manager, Debbie, who sent me these lovely white roses on behalf of the office.

Remember the adoption agency that refused to contract with us but did offer us a lovely parting gift of a coupon to buy their book? I'm probably breaching some adoption protocol here, but this was just too rich not to share.

They sent me this email on Tuesday (good choice of day for them)...

Dear Catherine,

I wanted to take a moment to let you know about an upcoming adoption feature on NBC's 'The Today Show'.

Mardie Caldwell, the founder of Lifetime Adoption Center and author of Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide, will be making a live appearance in New York this week. She is scheduled to appear and share about adoption on America's #1 morning show on Wednesday, May 9 and May 10.

Tune in to learn more about growing your family through adoption. She will also be discussing important upcoming changes to various adoption opportunities.

Add it to your calendar or set up to TiVo the show this week. You don't want to miss this special adoption feature.


My response?

Your "agency" refused to contract with us. Stop sending me email.

No, I'm not kidding.

Their response?

Dear Catherine,

Thank you for your response. I have removed your e-mail address from your old application. We share adoption information with all families, even those we cannot work with at the time and apologize for any offense.

Blessings to you.

Warm Regards,
Karen S. Gardiner

Now let me translate how I read this...we won't work with you, but will take any opportunity to self-promote and/or sell you something. Or am I just being overly sensitive?
Thank you to Cynthia who rose to the challenge to give me "something else to think about." This package arrived Monday, filled with individually wrapped gifts that I have been instructed to open when I need something else to think about. So far, I've opened English Toffee, a hand-shaped teething ring (for when I have no more fingernails to chew on), and a little tube of rose scented body lotion.

I have to say, so far, the candy is my favorite.

Normally, I wouldn't be a big fan of tunics or babydoll tops. But I think this 'in style' fashion trend is going to help me hide my belly for a few extra weeks...a fact that I am pretty happy about.
My mom broke her elbow. I feel bad because she wanted to plant flowers for the boys last weekend and I made her wait until this weekend...and now she can't help. I'm sorry Mom. You can sit and direct...I'll even make you some decaf to drink while you sit in your lawn chair.
Am I allowed to talk about pregnancy/baby stuff with "normal" women? I feel like I don't have that I'm a failure or a fraud and they will see right through I'm that odd girl in high school that nobody really wanted to talk to. I don't want people to just be polite. Why do I always feel like I'm walking a tightrope?
Eating a dozen olives three nights ago may not have been the best idea.
I sent Sam to daycare on Friday sporting a "My Mom Rocks" tshirt. And he was glad to wear it. I love that kid!

(I secretly think he was sucking up so that I would grant his wish to have his birthday party at ToysRUs. Yeah...he's got me pegged for sure.)
I know a secret...I know a secret...I know a secret...


Kathy McC said...

ACK!!! What's the secret??? You're killing me!

Julie said...

Ok now you KNOW that is just WRONG!!! ACK!!!

Glad you made it through the week. I have been thinking of you and your sweet boys non-stop. (((hugs)))

Aurelia said...


And hey, I don't think you are being overly sensitive with those agencies AT ALL. They sound pretty awful. Someone I know was telling me that private adoption agencies really have become an outrageous money grab, instead of a way for kids without homes to get parents. So sad....

And of course you can talk about pregnancy with "normal" women! You might even discover that some of them aren't so "normal" either. Come to think of it, what's "normal" anyway?

Sherry said...

Ok, you know a secret? Well, it's wrong to say it and now SHARE it! :)

I think you had every right to be mad about that email - it does sound like they are just trying to sell you their crap.

I'm so sorry for your mom - OUCH! That has to hurt :( I hope she heals quickly.

Enjoy your Mother's Day tomorrow. All the good, and the sad.

And if you're looking for crafts to do - maybe you should pull out your scrapbooking supplies? :) heehee

Brenda said...

Could the secret PLEASE be that I'm pregnant and i just don't know it yet?!!!

I'm glad you got through the week and now can think about 'the birthday' party!


Bon said...

okay, so is the secret that you're pregnant and aren't telling people IRL just yet (hence the belly tops...which if i were pregnant would love but as i've just worked kinda hard to get some semblance of a waist back am not so thrilled about)? or is there another secret? that you're keeping from US?

i suppose you have that right. :)

as for the talking to "normal" pregnant's weird, isn't it? i eventually just started doing it when i got far enough with Oscar...and a small sick part of me liked that my presence and my history forced them to process the possibility of loss, or sadness, or something other than the "wow, i'm just meant to be a mommy" bubble of naivete that a few of them seemed to be so smugly happy in. you are no failure, no fraud. the societal bubble of "once you get the +HPT or pass the twelve week mark everything is going to be sunshine and puppies" is actually the fraud. walk tall, friend, and know we're all so hopeful for you.

niobe said...

I was thinking along the same lines as Bon about the secret. At least you'll let us know if there's some other secret, right?

And the flowers are just beautiful.

Jill said...

What secret? And I was wondering why you haven't posted Bubs's u/s photo on his/her site? .... I loves me a good conspiracy theory ...

And that adoption agency is appalling. I love that you replied and didn't just ignore it. Stick it to them girl!

And you have a lot of pregnancy experience so whay not talk pregnancy? Alex and Travis count and you don't have to specify which pregnancy xyz occurred in if you don't want to. You don't have to be excluded from the world of annoying pregnant people at all;)

Holley said...


At least Sam didn't ask for a Gymboree party.

I hope your secret is a happy and good one.

Love ya.

BasilBean said...

I think you were right to reply to that e-mail from the adoption agency. They do sound terrible and self-serving and it is good to let them know that you are displeased with them.

I love the t-shirt. If I ever have living children I will most certainly capitalize on their t-shirt space for my own amusement:)

And I have to admit that I am curious about the secret as well.

miraclebaby said...


Ok that adoption agency can shove it. Remind me of their name (by email of course) so we don't try to use them. We may adopt in a few years instead of trying to get pregnant again since it's such a hard road to go down.

My mom rocks T-shirt for sam kicks ass. You go girl.

msfitzita said...

I wish I knew a secret...

poke. poke. poke.

Julia said...

Congratulations on surviving the week.

Adoption agency? Horrible. And very full of themselves.

Flowers and the box of gifts? Lovely.

Pregnancy conversations? Totally allowed, but certainly not required. Do what makes you comfortable at any given point.

Secret? Is that going to be the last line of every post from now until you are allowed to tell? Cause it would be both way cool and way cruel.

Oh, and you got yourself the Thinking Blogger Award. :)

Anonymous said...

I would love, love, love for you to make something for my baby girl that we are expecting in Oct. This pregnancy is terrifying as we lost our first baby girl at 37 weeks. She was stillborn April 12, 2006 after a placental abruption. Your blog has helped heal my heart and keep me going on days where I dont think that I can. To add to this we are now stationed in Germany (Army) and I am so isolated and lonely beyond words. I am having trouble wth blogger as it keeps coming up in German and wont let me sign in. :(. So my email is
Have a great Monday.

MB said...

Secret? No fair. You could talk about pregnancy stuff with me and it wouldn't be weird. Want my number?

Sara said...

Okay, can I hold onto your offer until I feel a little bit safe?

What's the secret? I can't stand secrets. Or is it one we already know?

As for your feeling that you might be a fraud, well I guess I could just refer you to the very sweet comment you left on my blog this morning (took me a while to connect that you are that Catherine!). Thank you.

JMB said...

Ooohhh, evil woman. Ending a post like that...

Sorry about your mom-what a rotten thing to have happen. But giving her the opportunity to direct the troops sounds like quite a decent tradeoff.

As for talking about it-why not? You're a pregnant woman. Pregnant women need to have that type of interaction, regardless of what their past histories are, to try to stay sane when our body chemistries revolt against us. In light of what you have gone through, it may be a good thing. Or a bad thing. Or just tell me to shut up.

While I don't know if I count as a blog friend, I would love something in pink for my girl that is due on Sept. 16. However, what I hope and pray for is that you make something for your own blue or pink. That would be the best gift of all.

GLouise said...

I got that same email! Too much.