OK...I'm calm....maybe not calm...but willing to laugh...ok...maybe not laugh...willing to roll my eyes and sigh...at the latest turn of events. Really...a coupon? We won't help you realize your dream of adding to your family...but buy our book? Many words come to mind (several of which are quite profane)...unprofessional...callous...ridiculous.
Steve and I know exactly why this organization would not contract with us. We actually knew the minute we sent the application. There are serious religious undertones to this particular group...and...well...we were honest when asked about our religious affiliations. Some might say we should have just lied. But here's the thing...now that we think about it, we're not entirely comfortable with the ideas they subscribe to. They have a "foundation" which professes to help birthmothers. I poked around on their website. I really have to wonder about the whole thing. I can just hear it now...
See the error of your evil ways.
Believe and you shall be saved.
Adoption will help you advance your spiritual self (where abortion would doom your soul to hell).
As much as we want a baby to join our family, the thought of getting one this way seems somehow deceitful...coercive...dishonest.
To be honest, we are the scariest potential adoptive family you can find. We're honest about our dead children and the damage we have suffered as a result. We're not going to be politically correct and only briefly mention our losses so as to not make someone uncomfortable. They are a part of our family whether someone is comfortable with that or not.
And I'm an attorney. I'm not the stay-at-home mom type. That'd be strike number two.
My belief in God...well...I think everyone who knows me knows the internal conflict that exists concerning God. And at one point Steve said he didn't believe in God at all...and that was long before even Sam, let alone Alex and Travis.
Three strikes and you're out. We're not that morally/spiritually correct family that this organization takes on as clients. So be it.
This turn of events has inspired us to do some more talking. Who knows where we'll go from here. Everyone keeps telling us that they believe we'll expand our family...they have faith in that future for us. We're not so sure. Maybe we only get the one kid. One gorgeous, funny, loving, wonderful kid. That's more than some people get, so we consider him a miracle that blesses our lives every day.
Maybe we should give pregnancy another try. As much as I don't want to do it, I have to admit that the good news of friends has made me insanely jealous. But is there more than just selfishness there? I don't know.
Maybe we should find another adoption route. But that is apparently a lot more complicated than I imagined. I'm not sure I want any more coupons.