Monday, November 06, 2006


Dear _________________________:

While we appreciate your offer, we already have a copy of the book and
have read it through at least once cover to cover.

Thank you for your consideration.

Catherine & Stephen

Dear Stephen & Catherine,

Thank you for considering ____________________ as your adoption professional.
Blessings to you as you seek adoption opportunities.

Warm Regards,

Yeah...I'm not holding my breath for that "we'll keep you on file" opportunity to actually happen.
In a refreshing moment of honesty last night, my sweet husband answered, "yes," without hesitation, when asked if he wanted to try to have another baby.

But that was where the refreshing part of it ended.

Me: "So does that mean you don't want to adopt?"

Him: "Why can't we do both?"

Me: "Because adoption doesn't work that way."

Him: "It would be hilarious if you showed up pregnant and said, 'I want to adopt.'"

Me: " we have any advil?"
So you see, things were better (less aggravating) left unsettled and un-talked-about. I think I'm going to retreat back into that let's-not-deal-with-it-until-the-house-is-finished truce.


One Mother's Journey said...

Well at least you know where he is with things... you don't have to wonder.

I wish there were easy answers.

Hedda said...

That sounds like a conversation my husband and I would have.

Good luck trying to work through all of emotions and stuff you don't want to deal with.

It sucks.

Anonymous said...

Sorry your first foray into adoption stalled so quickly. Whatever you decide to do, it sounds like the two of you have clear lines of communication happening, which is so very important.

We've just started to look into adoption, and from what I've learned so far a lot of agencies won't consider you if you're still considering having your own children (which makes sense, I guess -- they want a full committment). There are so many agencies out there, both foreign and domestic that the chances of finding the child or children you want are good, if you're prepared to wait. (That last part is the agony, for me anyway.)

Good luck to you both.

Dana said...


i'm sorry. i wish it were easier for you.

Alex said...

I'm so sorry about your losses and your struggle.

You don't know me from Adam and the situation is basically mutual. I found my way here from Manuela's blog and have read several of your recent posts as well as a few from the past. So I don't know who you are or whether this is of any use, but it is possible to adopt while also trying (or succeeding) to conceive. I'm doing it -- working on open US domestic adoption through the Independent Adoption Center (which is all that agency does) -- and currently, as it turns out, 22 weeks pregnant after many failed IVFs, with fingers tightly crossed. The agency knows and gave us the option of putting our adoption file on hold or continuing; we chose the latter. If you have any interest in exploring them -- and overall, I've been fairly happy with them -- the website is

I'm sorry if the above proves to be assvice. I wish you the best and hope you will find a path to the family you desire.