Friday, March 16, 2007

Miscellaneous Thoughts

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I think I may make Miscellaneous Thoughts an official "feature" of this blog. Maybe every Friday. I'm even going to give it its own category label.
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I am giving God a rest for now before my brain explodes.
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Diana Ross to American Idol contestant Gina..."Because there are so many words, you have to be sure to pronunciate each one." Yeah...so...anyway...I ranted for five minutes....wanna make something of it?
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I have a shameful little secret. Earlier this week I went to an online store and bought two yards of fabric...the same fabric that Travis' clothing was made out of. I have no idea why. I just had to have it. It is embarassing. Now what the hell do I do with it?
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I sat at the hair salon on Wednesday evening and watched a mother and her eight-year-old-ish son mock various women in a hairstyle book. Nice.
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Oh yeah...did I mention I got my hair cut? Here's a terrible picture of the new do...It's much more rock star than I've ever had. Now I need to invest in some good product to keep it spikey.
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Thank you to my readers/commenters for the insight into earphone options. Unfortunately, after researching options for my cell phone online, I find that I may have to MacGyver it and try an adapter AND earphones. You know, I love my Verizon service...but this proprietary crap with the equipment is truly annoying.
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I did 15 MOM Project bracelets last weekend. Each one represents the memory of a dear child for a grieving mother. I wish there was more I could do.
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With the help of my mother's insight and Dr. Google, I have diagnosed myself with gallstones. I am, understandably, not anxious to see a doctor at this point in my life. So some diet changes are being made. I hope they work to hold off the need for surgical intervention for a while. I'm not sure I could mentally handle any more anything in my life right now.
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Chili without beans is just plain weird.
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My little dog, Blue, had another big seizure that lasted about six minutes. I'm getting worried about her. We're going to try some diet changes and some other things, but I fear we are facing some extensive (and expensive...though that is not my main concern) vet care. I just want to wrap her in bubble wrap and protect her.
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I was flipping through the channels and stopped on Extreme Makeover-Home Edition (whatever happened to the regular edition?). Anyway...I only intended to stay briefly because that show always makes me cry and I really don't need to be tearing up over strangers' stories when I've got enough tears to fill my own ocean.

Ty Pennington asked the mother to talk about her son and she replied, "It's been 617 days since he died."
I couldn't change the channel.
The look on Ty's face was slightly horrified shock, as he said, "Wow...you count the days."

Yes, she counts the days. We all count the days. We mothers who have lost time.

It's a way for us to replace the missing firsts and all those special times...birthday parties, Christmas celebrations, family vacations, homecoming dances, football games, proms, weddings...all those things that normally mark the passing of time. It's a way to feel connected through time when your time has ended.

Her 16-year-old son died in a car accident on the way to the store just a mile or two down the road. We have such different stories, but I could truly feel this woman's ache of 617 days.


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6 comments:

Kathy McC said...

Love the hair!!

DD said...

I suppose your profession keeps you from dying your hair something outrageous like pink or green? Wouldn't it be great to just let yourself go crazy, in a good way, for one day?

I haven't been counting the days, but am marking the weeks/months: 22 mos for one and 26 wks for the other. I feel guilty for not doing more.

MB said...

Love the hair.

I saw that on AI and screamed and howled with laughter for days. I'm still laughing and telling the story. The thing that got me was that she said it was such indignace. I mean, did you notice how she "pronouciated" "prnounciate"? Freaking hilarious. And, so, so sad all at the same time.

The fabric...could you make a quilt? Like a small one? Just squares to make it easy? You could keep it or give it away... Funny, Audrey's outfit was the same. I have it in her memory box.

Hugs.

Patience said...

Nice 'do....

I don't count the days any more- but I still counted my 'weeks' changing over every single week, until my due dates, then flipped to the 'they should be this old...' - does that make sense??

Julie said...

Love the hair!!

I guess I don't count the weeks or months anymore, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of how old Caleb would be. How can we not keep track??

And I don't think the fabric thing is odd at all. Caleb is burried with a little lamb, and I saw it in a store one day a few months after he died. I bought it. It's sitting on my dresser. I guess when you have so little, you take anything you can get that reminds us.

miraclebaby said...

Hahahah, I wanted to rant about the "pronunciation" comment from Diana Ross... and she said it a few times to boot!