I'm ready to cry UNCLE in this holiday crazed corner of Boonieville. There are no Christmas lights to be purchased anywhere in this nutty town. SOLD OUT. I'm going to have to leave the state in order to buy some...like I'm soliciting something illegal or elicit.
Hey buddy, know where I can score any good Christmas lights? And I don't mean giant inflatable decorations...I mean lights man...honest to goodness plain old string of LIGHTS. I'm jonesin' man...come on...help a girl out.
And in other insanity...I have discovered something even more absurd than giant inflatable Christmas decorations...
Giant inflatable Christmas decorations on a TIMER.
At the designated time each morning, Santa, his reindeer, and Frosty, all deflate slowly and end up laying on the lawn like someone mowed them down with an oozie. Seriously, I giggle like a crazy person all the way into work as I drive past these houses with deflated Christmas characters littering their lawns. WHAT are these people thinking? Seriously. I want to know. Energy conservation? How about not getting giant inflatable lawn decorations IN THE FIRST PLACE then? No. Instead you put them on a timer and make me do a double take everytime I THINK I see a vagrant laying on your front lawn. Come on! Do me a favor and just keep Santa and his pals blown up 24/7 (that doesn't sound quite right, does it?).
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6 comments:
Those things are mental enough all blown up. Seeing them all deflated just makes it look like santa with a bad hangover.
We are going to play a joke on some good friends this year by putting up some lit deer in their yard in a "loving" position. I hope we don't get arrested...
I thought your last sentence said "Santa and his balls..."
I giggled.
Those things are made in a plant in the town I live in... in a town of 5000 people there are probably 8000 blow up yard things. Seriously. I don't have one - I'm a rebel.
Do you want me to fed ex you some lights? I think we still have some at the stores in Podunkville, where I live. ;)
sometimes, when you see those barely inflated ones undulating on the ground like that, it looks very....interesting.
'What's santa doing to the reindeer, mommy?'
I can hook you up with lights, there are still plenty to be found in Lake County.
Here's an interesting website:
http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/
I must be numb at this point in time because some of them don't look all that awful to me.
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