I'm ready to cry UNCLE in this holiday crazed corner of Boonieville. There are no Christmas lights to be purchased anywhere in this nutty town. SOLD OUT. I'm going to have to leave the state in order to buy some...like I'm soliciting something illegal or elicit.
Hey buddy, know where I can score any good Christmas lights? And I don't mean giant inflatable decorations...I mean lights man...honest to goodness plain old string of LIGHTS. I'm jonesin' man...come on...help a girl out.
And in other insanity...I have discovered something even more absurd than giant inflatable Christmas decorations...
Giant inflatable Christmas decorations on a TIMER.
At the designated time each morning, Santa, his reindeer, and Frosty, all deflate slowly and end up laying on the lawn like someone mowed them down with an oozie. Seriously, I giggle like a crazy person all the way into work as I drive past these houses with deflated Christmas characters littering their lawns. WHAT are these people thinking? Seriously. I want to know. Energy conservation? How about not getting giant inflatable lawn decorations IN THE FIRST PLACE then? No. Instead you put them on a timer and make me do a double take everytime I THINK I see a vagrant laying on your front lawn. Come on! Do me a favor and just keep Santa and his pals blown up 24/7 (that doesn't sound quite right, does it?).