So small

Last night I was out looking for the lost rescue dog, Josie, again. The search has been frustrating and sad. She's out there somewhere...alone...in the rain...without someone to love her. I was really feeling discouraged about the whole thing. I was beginning to think suck sarcastic and skeptical thoughts. And then two things happened.

First, someone said, "I know this sounds crazy, but if it gives hope then we might as well try it." For some reason, that resonated within me and I regained my strength and my sense of humor about the whole thing. (Damn dog. Gonna make me crazy. I find her, I'm gonna wring her scrawny little neck.)

Also yesterday Steve and I drove home from work last night past the scene of a creek rescue. Human beings teetered on the edge of life and death right there at the bend in the road. Some fell on the side of life...and one fell on the side of death. It was all so random...who lives and who dies. It was all so random...where these things happen. We drive past there every single day, multiple times a day. Yesterday morning I had even noted how full the creek was and how fast it was flowing. Why did they go swimming there? Why yesterday? Why did that man try to save another person? Why did he disappear underneath the water while two others held on for more than three hours?

The older I get, the more vulnerable I feel...somehow smaller...in this big ole world. We dress it all up with conveniences, but life is still really very harsh. Giving and taking what it wants...when it wants it...without explanation. Is it God? Is it Mother Nature? Choice? Randomness? We're all susceptible to it whether we realize it or not...whether we like it or not.

I personally like things in neat little justifiable packages. You do this, you get that in return. But just because I like it that way doesn't mean I'm going to get what I want. We may never find that dog. They may never find that man.

We're all just so small in this world. But if we hang onto hope, we just might make it through.