Thursday, March 16, 2006

Miscellaneous Thoughts

Sam spent two nights in our bed because he had a bad dream where there was "a frog from outside in [his] bed." He's back in his own bed, but his own bed is now back alongside my side of the bed. Which sounds cute, but let me tell you what a pain in the butt it is to get up to pee in the middle of the night. I'm really surprised I haven't killed myself yet.
And have I mentioned that he's being contained in his bed by pine planks? That's right. He kept falling out of the bed because the railings are only halfway down the length of the bed. Do we jump at the chance to be great parents and run to Babies R Us to find full length rails? Nope. We raid the lumber pile and stick a couple of pine planks along the sides. We are so going to hell someday. Of course, the universe has it's own way of informing me that this is a bad parenting decision...I have now bashed my knee on the protruding end of said planks at least a dozen times. It's a good thing it's not shorts weather yet for the bruises I'm sporting.
Other than that, there's not much to tell. I have discovered that I have serious anger issues that I need to work on. Instead of feeling healthy emotions like a normal person, I respond to most all situations with anger. When I'm afraid/scared, I lash out. When I'm worried, yelling. When I'm sad, I feel frustrated and that leads to angry expressions. When I'm tired...oh get the picture. I've read about this phenomenon in boys before...something about how they are taught to repress their healthy emotions but express their anger as a substitute. It's not quite so interesting when you realize it applies to you. In fact, it sort of pisses me off. (Aren't I funny?)

This is, quite honestly, something I've always known. I mean, it's not like we were exactly a lovey-dovey family while I was growing up. Not that we had any serious problems or anything. Just that we didn't (and still don't) relate on a normal personal level. All those "sticky" subjects like sadness and love and disappointment and happiness are there...we just try to avoid talking about them...almost at all costs. I don't know why it makes us all so uncomfortable. Something to ponder, I guess.
I've been slack on the photos. Sorry about that. It just seemed so much effort to download/scan when I had a headache the past couple of days (my head is better than a barometer for predicting weather changes). But it is mostly gone, so I will try to get to the pictures tonight. I have to update Sam's blog...I don't even remember the last time I did that. (bad mommy)
A pregnant friend recently went through a scare finding out that she and her husband are both carriers for cystic fibrosis. But after an amnio and a near car wreck answering the phone to get the results, everything is girl is completely healthy. I'm so so so so happy for all of them.
Had Italian Wedding Cake today for the boss' birthday. I didn't like it.

Speaking of food...I made my very first eggplant parmesan last night for dinner. That, I did like. :o)
Kevin Covais? Really?


Jill said...

So you haven't heard of Angry-Pregnant-Woman-Syndrome? Where you snarl all day and sometimes even send out warning snaps of the teeth before completely mauling some poor person into oblivion?

Well it could all be a manifestation of years of anger and repression, or it could be the syndrome. If you were amongst my real life people at this point they would all be giggling at you as they ran for cover:)

And quite frankly, I'm loving the ingenuity of the pine planks and respect you for doing that rather than running back to TRU to spend hundreds more!

And from bitter experience, give it about 4 more months and you will REALLY be wondering how you haven't killed yourself if Sam is still getting in bed with you - and it'll have nothing to do with tripping over him!!

kate said...

Pine planks huh? Works for me...of course i am the wrong person to ask, my whole house should be condemned ;)

My family will tell you i have anger issues too. Bastards...i don't believe it for a minute...

R said...

Kevin Covais...I have NO idea how he is still there? Seriously. There must be some underground contingent we don't know about. So, so weird. How did he even make it onto the show?