Because I know you love these stories

It has been determined that we have a problem with our sewage/water disposal system. The craftily hand-drawn map, identifying the location of our dry well like some pirate treasure, indicates that our septic was last cleaned in 2000. So, we think we need it cleaned.

This wouldn't be noteworthy at all...if we had ANY CLUE where to locate our septic. You see, aside from the cleaning date notation, it's not actually ON the map. And the drawing submitted to the health department with the permit application was apparently drawn by someone who was either drunk or pictorially dyslexic (I think I just made up a new word...cool!). Steve suggests we get drunk and then perhaps the application drawing will make sense. (While I'm up for any activity that involves drunkenness, I don't hold out too much hope that it will work to help us solve the mystery of the missing septic system.)

The poor septic cleaner/repair guy was baffled. And after looking at the paperwork, I am baffled too. So the solution will be to flush a $75 radio transmitter down our toilet and see where it ends up. Yes, that's right, I'm going to flush $75 down the toilet. Why does this seem completely and totally appropriate this year?