There are a few things I have thought about blogging about but haven't, for fear someone would think I need psychiatric help and say something that would really tick me off. But there comes a time when you just have to type what you think and pray that nobody nitpicks you to death.
A long time ago, when I was in college, a dear friend/roommate asked me if I'd ever thought about sticking a fork in a toaster while it was on, just to see what happened. Now, this friend, if she remembers this at all, probably won't be shocked to learn that I thought she was nuts at the time. I chalked it up to her being depressed and kept a watchful eye on all the forks in the apartment. I never seriously thought she would stick a fork in the toaster, but realized at that point that she had considered things in life that I had never considered...morbid things...and I wanted to keep it that way...her on one side and me on the other. I was ABOVE all that sort of stuff because my life was so perfect...I was such an optimist I didn't NEED to consider things like the fork in the toaster.
I've considered the fork in the toaster and more. It would be SO EASY to run the car off the road into a tree. It would be SO EASY to drop the hair dryer in the bathtub. It would be SO EASY to drink myself into oblivion. It would be SO EASY to stick the fork in the toaster.
Now before everyone starts calling the local police to do a wellness check on me...I don't plan to do any of these things. But I have considered what it would be like. And I can certainly understand how someone who sees themselves as having less to live for might actually DO some of these things.
So to my college roommate who asked me such a "strange" question all those years ago (who I know reads this blog)...I'm sorry I thought you were nuts. I didn't understand back then.
But I understand now.