Why? Goodbye, that's why.

Not supposed to blog while drunk...but I can't help myself.

Why do I have this blog? I have no battles to fight anymore. And that's really what makes a good blog, isn't it? Unless you're reading for some educational value (how to sew, how to scrapbook, how to photograph, etc), it's all about watching someone battle until they are either bloodied or triumphant. Will they or won't they...x...y...z...? Rubber-necking at its finest.

I started this blog to keep in touch with family. Now they're all either dead or so depressed by what I write that they don't read anymore. I was supposed to write about the adventures of our lives with my little family of four. But it wasn't this family of four. I can never escape that. And when I write about it I always wonder what that other life would have looked like...where grandma didn't pay for a headstone for our baby Alex. We wouldn't have known Myles (the Sophie's Choice of it all is so dramatic).

Does that make sense? I don't know...I've had a really big glass of red wine.

So my choices are to (1) smile and make lemonade (in which case I may have to puke at my own positivity); or (2) continue moaning and groaning about what a real mess it all is...this life I'm living (in which case I may have to puke at my own negativity).

I don't particularly like me anymore...in case you didn't notice.

I'm just too tired to write about battles. And I don't believe in fairytale happily ever afters either. Grandma's dead...so what are the rubber neckers looking for here now?

I want to write about the $12 of fabric I bought today that will be a Valentine's photo backdrop for my friend's baby girl (not for my boys because...well...boys don't do Valentine's photos once they learn the word "no")...how I'm going to spend tomorrow cutting out paper hearts to hang (for a DIY feel)...and I really hope they turn out. I have a vision...now I just need to execute it.

But really...I know nobody who is left reading this blog really wants to read about any of that. That might have been good stuff for the original audience of mom, grandmas, and aunts...

But now...?

Now I think it's time to shut this thing down.

To quote my eight-year-old...

Catherine's out...PEACE!

Miscellaneous thoughts

Yep...I'm bringing back miscellaneous thoughts as my weekly post. At the very least, it should inspire me to write SOMETHING.
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We fostered two shepherd mix puppies over the holidays. It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun too. Now that they've both gone to adoptive homes the place has returned to its normal level of crazy...which seems kinda quiet (as I type this I have to take a break to shout downstairs, "NO SMACKING!").
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Click THIS for a freaking brilliant idea!
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A friend from high school updated his Facebook status to say, "SO...How do you tell your six year old that her favorite horse is gone?" I didn't answer. That's progress, right? Incorporating my experiences while maintaining some understanding of what is appropriate to say and what is appropriate to only think? Yay me!
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This is not a food blog...nor is it a gluten free blog...but this...this is so wonderful I had to blog about it. It's a little lumpy-bumpy, but it is DELICIOUS! I can not wait to make a sandwich for lunch tomorrow!

I am committed to eating gluten free. I have discovered that regular bread causes me a LOT of intestinal upset...generally 12 hours after I eat it. And now that I've found the joy of homemade gluten free bread...I am SO happy! Now I just need to learn how to use unmixed flours (save a little money).

I have to send thanks out to my sister and her husband for gifting me the bread machine for Christmas. I LOVE it!
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I got this fancy new laptop from work. It's great...does everything I want it to do and none of the stuff it's supposed to do. Who says government work doesn't pay?
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Started writing this on Monday after the last puppy left. By Friday he was back. We took him to the shelter tonight (Saturday) so that he will get seen by more people. I'm kind of glad...I had a feeling the adoption wasn't "a good fit" when I dropped him off...but I disregarded it because I thought I was just being too picky (guess not). Hopefully he'll find the perfect home now.
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Oh...and that bread I made (also on Monday)...the dogs thought it was YUMMY. So much so that they stole the LOAF off my counter while I was walking the puppy. They left me ONE piece. It was good...very very good...so I will definitely have to make more (and guard it better).
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So this was boring. I need something interesting to write about if this blog has any hopes of surviving.
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Happy New Year

Things were going along JUST fine...gallbladder had calmed down after the holiday gluttony...my house was getting back in order...had sushi with a friend...and then I found myself passed out on the bathroom floor.

Mega-migraine.

After 40+ unconscious hours, I'm up again...

...only to have Steve tell me he had a little accident this morning and messed up the steering on his car.

So far I am not impressed with 2011.

But instead of complaining I'm just going to post a cute picture of our foster puppies...aren't they cute?!?!

2011 Resolutions

I'm not going to go extravagant...because I ALWAYS fail at extravagant resolutions. So I'm going to resolve to make a few simple changes this year...

~eat meals at the dinner table together as a family instead of in front of various televisions

~eat less pre-packaged and fast food and more fresh food prepared at home...try interesting recipes...stay gluten-free

~buy less

~buy local for what we truly NEED

~laugh more...cry and yell less

~say something kind and loving to my husband every day

~devote one weekend day each weekend to doing something with my family

~do something to pamper myself at least once a week (take a bubble bath, simple at-home manicure, wear lipgloss, curl my hair, etc.)

~crochet the Amsterdam Coat for myself

~read the rest of the Harry Potter series (I have been in the middle of book #4 for many years now)

Oh...I suppose I still do have a couple of extravagant resolutions I want to make...

~find sustainable funding sources for the APL

~get treatment for my gallbladder issues

~launch my photography business "for real"

~bury Little Bug

~let "it" go and find happiness by living in the moment with my amazing family

I just need to LIVE a little more...find beauty and peace in this life I have.