Interesting conversations (real and imagined)

Me: "I wrote that memo on the Z petition. If you could take a quick look at it, I'd appreciate it because it has to get on the agenda soon."

Boss: "I'm leaving for vacation tonight and won't be back until Monday. Why does this stuff always come up like this?"

Me: "Lisa's been out with her mom and stuff has kind of piled up while you were in your murder trial."

What I was REALLY thinking..."Because you take countless vacations...people actually joke about it...you don't keep any of us updated as to your vacation schedule...and...well...this is your JOB?"
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Please help your child find pictures of two items in a magazine, newspaper, or catalog that each cost less than one dollar.

Yeah...right. Do you actually LIVE in that alternate universe of a school or do you visit the real world every now and again?

BTW...Kleenex and discounted plastic easter eggs. Thank you CVS and Joanns.
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Sam: "Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know."

Me: (Thinking how I'd REALLY like to smack that smart alec little face off.)
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Sam: "Uncle Matt said I was invited over to his house..."

Me: "Uh...actually...I think you invited yourself over to his house."
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Coroner: "Well, I just wanted to call you and tell you my side of things, because I don't think it's right."

Me: "I don't worry about sides, I worry about what's legal. I will research this issue and let you know what the law says. Thanks for calling."
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Baby screaming/screeching. Sam crying. Me finding receipts crammed into the checkbook and not entered into the register.

(phone rings)

Me: "What?!?!"

Mom: "Uh...hi?"
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