normal = 130 and 12

So I had an appointment yesterday. Nothing too exciting. Just little annoying things.

The nurse who is concerned that I haven't had a pap or chlamydia screen in more than a year. She wants to do this now? Uh...no. This is my weird infection phase...you aren't sticking anything up there now. Move along.

The med student with the overly enthusiastic attitude. "There's the heartbeat...can you hear it?" with a great big grin on her face. Uh...yeah. Now reassure me it will be there in ten minutes...tomorrow...Sunday. Can you do that? Then lose the damn smile and stop acting like this is cause for celebration. Do I mind if you measure my belly? Well, actually, yeah, I do.

The other med student who stood there awkwardly with a weird smile on his face. What's the matter? Never seen a freak before? Yeah, don't be too happy...that bugs me. Don't be too serious...that bugs me too. But what is that weird look you have? Fear? Don't worry, it's not catchy.

The doctor who admitted he sent the med students in to see us to get them out of his hair. I appreciate his honesty but next time I may have to strangle him.

The lab technician who literally shouted at me from down the hall to have a seat and someone will be right out. I just need the damn glucose drink. I don't need you for an hour. Wait! Stop! Listen! grrrrr....!!!!

And then today...the nurse (Marilyn) who called with my lab results but got my voicemail and couldn't leave the message except that we needed to speak...she would try my work number (I wasn't at work today...I was at a conference...hence, my inability to just answer my cell phone). I call back and get someone else...Marilyn is busy, can she call me back? I explain my unavailability until 4:30 and the receptionist suggests I call back then. I express that I'm a little concerned because Marilyn was calling with test results and made it sound important. What's my social? xxx-xx-xxxx. Oh, it's nothing urgent but I can call back at 4:30 and I will be put right through? You are obviously LOOKING AT my test results...can't YOU just TELL ME what it says? No? Ok...I'll call back. *sigh*

My blood glucose was 133...normal is 130 or less. My iron was 11.6...normal is 12 or above. Great. You want me to do the three hour? Can't I just skip it? I mean, I see where this is headed and I have the meter and all the supplies...can't I just pass on the test and treat myself as if I have gestational diabetes...record my numbers...and we'll go from there? No? OK (I'll email the doctor tomorrow to ask. I mean, really, we all know how this is going to go.)

Oh yeah...and the farrier called to cancel our appointment for this afternoon.

I've spent the day in a continuing legal education conference that was so irritating I was figuring the odds that someone would say, "This is bullshit," and walk out. Unfortunately, nobody did...but I could tell some really wanted to (including my boss).

It's 90+ degrees outside and I feel huge and hurty and very very cranky.

Anyone needs me, I don't care. I'll be eating ice cream in front of the tv (while I still can).