Wednesday, April 11, 2007

This is what I'm talking about

It's not that I'm expecting people to go out of their way to soften the blows to my fragile emotional state...but is it to much to think that maybe SOMEBODY would take the time to make the extra effort?

How I found out about a coworkers pregnancy...

Yesterday at lunch..."C is so know...that early pregnancy tired..."

Frick! Frack! Fruck! Are you kidding me?!?!

Thankfully C works in the other office in the other building, so I rarely see her. But people not have any empathy? Is it too much to ask that someone says, "Just so you're not blindsided by it...C is pregnant?" Or am I just being too sensitive?

No...don't answer that. I don't really want to know.

And I thought May was going to be easy.


***next day addition to this story***
All the ladies in THIS THIS building...are standing in the hallway just down from my office, talking about C's food aversions. What IS it with women? They don't even know her that well and yet they are dissecting her pregnancy as if it matters to them! I can't take this! Please shut up! (Door closed...I hope they get the hint but I doubt they will. Can you say "clueless?")


DD said...

To be honest, I had the "just so you know" talk, and it doesn't soften the blow.

Sure I'm prepared but I didn't like feeling as if I was pre-postal and had to have someone ease the news onto me.

Catherine said...

Everyone at the table seemed to already know. It felt as if an announcement HAD already been made...except to me. And then this is how I find out. I don't just didn't sit well.

Kendra's mom said...

You know, people just do not think! Even the kindest most well-intentioned people sometimes just do not think. About a month after my daughter died, my son was doing something silly or saying something, I can't even remember what, but not the sort of thing that would sound right if a girl said it. And my friend said to me 'Aren't you lucky you don't have a girl?' "Yeah, very lucky... I wanted my daughter to die so that this situation would not arise!!" Well, I did not say it, just ignored her, but she is normally the most caring person I know.

I have had numerous instances of people not thinking, I guess we have to become thick-skinned and just think that most people do not consider that what they say may be hurtful. Or risk becoming very bitter.

But this is a very hard time of the year for year (me too - March and April, end and beginning of her life) so we are allowed to be more sensitive than normal. Anyway, for us what is 'normal'. Life will never be 'normal' again. I hope that the next month will not be too hard for you. Thinking of you.

kate said...

Blah. I'm sorry. People just don't think at all sometimes.

Aurelia said...

Sometimes I find email is easier, sometimes in person, but really it never is. But I agree, this sounds totally unfair.

delphi said...

I really don't know why people can't realize that pregnancy talk is upsetting to us. People are so clueless. I had a similar occurance 8 months after C died, and it was horrible.

niobe said...

People are idiots. I think that, mostly, they're so wrapped up in themselves that they just don't consider the effect their words or actions will have on anyone else. And they may be so clueless that they don't realize how talking about someone else's pregnancy can hurt. Which is hard to imagine, but, yes, some people really are that self-absorbed and, well, stupid.

Right after I went back to work after having lost the twins, one of my co-workers passed around an adorable picture of her twins and talked about how difficult it was to take care of two children of the same age. It wasn't malicious. She just wasn't thinking.

Bon said...

i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. i do not know why people are idiots and don't think.

but i know they don't. and all i can think will ever make them start is posts like this one.

GLouise said...

How annoying!

I do think that YES, people really are that self-absorbed that they don't think it could hurt others.

Of course, I am someone who still gets blindsided my my mother-in law's pregnancy memories! Just last night she was recalling all of her nausea and food aversions with my brother-in law #2. Does it ever stop?!