Monday, April 30, 2007

Freak out #2

OK…so I set up my next appointment for Tuesday, May 8th…two weeks from my last appointment. But now I have two things on my mind. First, May 8th is the anniversary of Travis’ stillbirth and I’m not sure I should tempt fate on that day. And second, quite honestly, I am not sure I can wait until then.

On the one hand I feel like there really is no reason to move my appointment and I’m just being silly. On the other, I feel like curling up in a ball and crying when I think about it.

What do you think?

BTW...this is freak out #2 because freak out #1 is my ongoing obsession that this is an ectopic pregnancy. No, no bleeding. Yes, abdominal pain...but that can easily be attributed to my pulling a muscle when I rolled over in bed to reach for my glasses on the table. can not reason with an insane mind.


niobe said...

If I were you, I'd go ahead and change the appointment date, unless there's some reason you need to wait for two weeks. But then I switched one of my appointments because I couldn't bear the thought of getting bad news on my birthday.

And this may be a stupid question,* but if the pregnancy were ectopic, wouldn't you have been able to tell from your first ultrasound?

*Though, as one of my teachers used to say, "there are no stupid questions, only stupid people who ask them."

r_is_moody said...

It's hard to know what to do. You could get more bad news on that day to further make it a crappy day or you could get really great news on that day and that might somehow redeem that day a little.

But if i were you i would change it just because I couldn't wait that long.

I am so hoping and praying that this baby will make the month of may much brighter for you.

AJW5403 said...

I would change the appt. just to be safe. I would hate for you to get bad news on that day. All though my wish is for you to get nothing but good news from here on out.

You have been in my thoughts daily. Sending you so much love and peace durring this time.

Julia said...

First commandment of pregnancy care: do what makes you feel better. Thus, it seems that changing the appointment is a prudent idea. :)
Thinking of you.

delphi said...

I say change the appointment.

P.S. I had an ongoing obsession with ectopic pregnancies until u/s proved otherwise...

Shinny said...

I would be freaking too. Change the appointment for your own piece of mind.
Everything is, of course, going to be just fine, so you need to have a day just for the good news and not associated with previous bad news days.

And you are not insane, unless I am as well. ;)

Aurelia said...

Change it to the day before, the Monday. That way you can feel relief on Tuesday, mixed with the sadness. And please tell me you and Steve are going to take Tuesday off and be gentle with yourself? Maybe hang out together, visit Travis' grave, just take it slow?

kate said...

I would change the date. And yes, my question is the same as niobe's -- wouldn't they have seen an ectopic on the first u/s?

Kathy McC said...

Hmmm. Ditto on what everyone else said.

The other thing is, once you get over the fear of ectopic, then you'll replace it with another worry. I worried about everything when I was pg with Kam. I was convinced I was going to have an incompetent cervix because of the D&C's I had.

And all of my fears were unfounded.

I like the idea of taking that day off instead. Just remember to make the ultrasound well past 6 weeks so you're sure to see that heartbeat.

pipsylou said...

Wouldn't an eptopic have been detected on the first ultrasound? I have a hard time believing they wouldn't have been able to see that. I would go ahead and move the date up. There's no reason to torture yourself. I'm all for ultrasounds, and often.

Brenda said...

Hey there

I have to say I would also change the appointment.
Only because i would want to spend that day feeling sorry for myself and the last thing I would want to do would be to go to a Dr appointment.

Hugs hugs

Jill said...

Just make sure you are far enough along to expect a visible heartbeat. That was my rule for both sub pgs and in hindsight, a good one.

But listen to your gut. If mixing Travis's birthday with something that will either be wonderful news or heartbreaking news is too much, then change it. You have a wonderful doctor who has a personal relationship with you guys and he'll do everything he can to get you through this in one piece.

Hang in there...(I've got a picture of you in my mind in a boxing ring like're sweating a lot;)lol)

Anonymous said...

Ditto what everyone else has said.

I was mainly just swinging by to let you know your second package had been mailed. This one is a small one, your final package should be a bit larger.

your sp.

Anonymous said...

You are entitled to say that the abdominal pain you are having needs to be verified as beign a muscle pull. I'm sure, if you wanted, any good doctor would see you at your wish to allay any fears you may have. And, at 6 weeks (right?) you would think you would see what you needed to confirm everything was on track. I don't think the issue is May 8th - I think the issue is you finally having some peace for a minute.