Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Real moms

Bon tagged me (and made me cry) with this twist on the "Real Mom" meme...

real moms sometimes have children you can’t see.

this meme goes out to all the mothers who don’t get tagged for things like this. the ones who’ve given birth but had no baby to take home. who sit on the sidelines of conversations about mucous plugs and back labour, with stories to tell but no room to participate. who have a little gravestone or an urn or just a memory in the place of a child. who have adoption papers saying “relinquish all rights…” or ultrasound photos but nothing more. or who have two smiling school photos on their desk, but really, inside, count to three when you ask “how many kids do you have?”

this is for all the real moms with children invisible to the eye.


The photo that immediately came to mind for me is this one...



This is my job now as a mom...
...striking a balance between grief and happiness...
...sharing his brothers with Samuel, without overwhelming him with the depth of the sadness...
...allowing him to love the two little brothers who are not here to play trains or ride bikes with him...
...letting him water their flowers when he wants to and knowing when he needs to skip it.

It is a part of motherhood that I would never have imagined. But it is my reality...OUR reality.

And because I know there are others out there who have their own reality as moms with children you cannot see...I tag msfitzita and kate.

7 comments:

DD said...

(thank you)

Brenda said...

That is just beautiful!

Hugs
xxx

Kathy McC said...

Awesome post. Thanks for once again reminding me that I am not alone. Beautiful picture...

Aurelia said...

This is so lovely, so truly awesome.

niobe said...

what a sad and lovely post and picture

miraclebaby said...

That was so touching. Thank you.

The Town Criers said...

This is such a powerful post. A reader of your blog asked if I would contact you to include this post in the emoblopedia (www.emoblopedia.blogspot.com). Let me know if you'd be okay if I added it (I never add links without the author's permission).