On the day we said goodbye to Alex the workmen stood silently by during the service, waiting to bury our boy.
A couple days later we stopped by on our first official visit to our son's grave. The workmen were actually pouring the concrete for headers and footers on that day, including the header for Alex's stone. We didn't want to disturb them...and I think we were a little bit afraid of what we would see in our son's final resting place...so we stayed a good distance away. It was as we turned to leave that we met Dan.
Dan literally came running over to us to check with us and make sure the proper preparations were being made for our baby's grave...the correct header for our son's headstone. He seemed a bit uncomfortable. Then he revealed that he too had lost a baby boy, and we realized that we had found a friendly soul who truly understood our pain. Dan told us how he struggled for many years before he was able to even talk to God again. I instantaneously loved him for sharing that with me.
Dan was there on the day we buried Alex and he was there on the day we buried Travis. He silently stood in the background both times...crying tears of someone who understood what lay ahead on the path of grief for those of us crying onto the springtime earth.
When Dan found out that Travis had died, he again sought us out to tell us that we were in his prayers and that he would do whatever was necessary to "take care of" our boys...and us. He made sure to let us know that he cared.
This week, Dan called to tell us that he had personally set Travis' grave marker with the love only a father who has lost a baby could possibly have. He called to tell us that he set Travis' marker facing Alex's marker...so that we could sit between the two and see them both.
I feel such gratitude.
But I wish we had never met Dan.
I wish he didn't understand what it means to us to be able to see one gravestone, let alone two at one time.