Sunday, June 25, 2006

Are you sure?

People say, "You will find happiness again."
People say, "You will heal."
People say, "You won't feel this way forever."

What if they're wrong? How do they KNOW I will be "better?" Or are they speaking in generalities again? The generalizations didn't help me when they said, "Oh, it's not likely to happen again," so I'm a bit hesitant to believe them now. Besides that, I've got my own personal doubts to deal with. My grandmother has suffered from mental health issues her whole life. Tea-with-Jesus sorts of mental health issues. What if THIS is just the sort of thing that pushes me around the bend too? Is it possible that I might NOT recover? What if I do become the bitter old woman who never smiles and scares away the neighborhood children?

I really wish well-meaning people wouldn't be so sure of everything...especially when they might be wrong.

8 comments:

Bttrfly1976 said...

Though it offers no hope, I completely echo your sentiments on this subject.

Julian's Mom said...

I have to agree with you here. I know mine is a different situation, but it still makes me uncomfortable, resentful, and angry when someone congratulates me on my pregnancy, with comments along the lines of "everything will be fine this time" or "you have nothing to worry about." Most of these people don't know anything about my weekly scans, my son's autopsy report, the opinions of our geneticist, etc. How can they be so sure? Their words are empty. No matter how far along I get, I won't feel safe until we bring this baby home.

deadbabymama said...

Tea-with-jesus?! My great gran only had tea with Queen Victoria!

Who knows what you'll feel like? About the only safe thing to say is that eventually you will have some different feelings and life experiences. What those might be are anyone's guess.

miraclebaby said...

Nobody can know for sure what the future holds for you (or anybody). We don't need meaningless happy phrases. I don't have words to make things better for you, but I do hope that you find healing in your own time and that there are bright things in your future that can bring you some joy. Nothing can change the facts of what has happened, but I hope that the things that are coming down the line for you are amazing...

pengo said...

Yep. Our job is not to tell you you will be okay, our job is to ask if you are okay - and to listen to the answer, no matter what it is.

So ... I'd ask if you are okay, but I've been reading how you are, so maybe that's redundant. We're listening.

Erin said...

Oy, yup. I hate the platitudes. I'd rather they said nothing at all than to say some of the things they say.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I became the bitter old woman who scares neighbor kids away, and people love me ;)

So I came by to thank you for linking to my blog, but it looks like you're on hiatus. Hope you find some peace where you're at.

Erin said...

Correction: thank you for linking to my site (Poetic Acceptance)

Heather said...

It would be a wonderful thing if some people learned the power of silence and hugs rather than empty words. (((Hugs)))