Step back, I'm about to get some more insight all over.
I'm ticked off that I have to deal with a managed health care company, the high risk division of my insurance company, the perinatologist and the OB.
Well, first, because it means I have to leave my safe world of denial and face the mental and emotional turmoil head-first. That's an obvious one.
But even more than that, I'm ticked off because I keep thinking, "Where were all of you when I was pregnant with Alex? Why did he have to die before you care about my/our healthcare?"
Now, don't get me wrong. I will do whatever it takes to deliver the Beast alive and get him/her home safe and sound. But I am soooooo beyond irritated that it had to be like THIS for someone to pay attention.
So who do I see about this anger? I've got a TEAM of people who are willing to cluck over me regarding all the physical stuff. But insurance still won't pay for the kind of counseling I need...and racquetball is too expensive. Where's the willingness to help emotionally?
Wait! I get it! It all makes sense! I'm going to have to freak out completely before that happens, aren't I?