Monday, April 24, 2006

Insight all over the place

Step back, I'm about to get some more insight all over.

I'm ticked off that I have to deal with a managed health care company, the high risk division of my insurance company, the perinatologist and the OB.

Why?

Well, first, because it means I have to leave my safe world of denial and face the mental and emotional turmoil head-first. That's an obvious one.

But even more than that, I'm ticked off because I keep thinking, "Where were all of you when I was pregnant with Alex? Why did he have to die before you care about my/our healthcare?"

Now, don't get me wrong. I will do whatever it takes to deliver the Beast alive and get him/her home safe and sound. But I am soooooo beyond irritated that it had to be like THIS for someone to pay attention.

So who do I see about this anger? I've got a TEAM of people who are willing to cluck over me regarding all the physical stuff. But insurance still won't pay for the kind of counseling I need...and racquetball is too expensive. Where's the willingness to help emotionally?

Wait! I get it! It all makes sense! I'm going to have to freak out completely before that happens, aren't I?

2 comments:

kate said...

Sorry your insurance doesn't pay for counseling. Mine did (temporarily), but it wasn't helpful anyway.

I have often wondered about this, why does a baby have to DIE (and sometimes more than one) in order to get someone to pay attention. I know it is simple economics -- most babies do live, it wouldn't be 'cost-effective' for the insurance to pay for close attention of every pregnancy. But this really says something pretty lousy about our current social system.

deadbabymama said...

LOL, quite possibly yes! Or you could print off this post and give a copy of it to everyone involved in your healthcare 'team' and see what happens....