There's a blog post in here somewhere

Saturday afternoon, Sam, Steve, and I ventured out to run some errands. Truth be told, we were fulfilling our weekly promised bribe to Sam...a trip to Toys R Us for a new toy as a reward for sleeping in his own bed for an entire week. While I have enjoyed the week of sleep without an elbow in my ear or a foot in my kidney, I have to admit that I miss the little guy. And last night, I missed him all the more now that he has decided the next step to bedtime independence is to sleep with his bed actually pushed up against the wall and not up against my side of the king size bed. He's three feet away, but he seems so much farther away than that...

But I digress...and I have to stop or I will make myself cry.

So we headed to TRU and made our purchase. After a couple more stops, we headed to Super Kmart to indulge in some items required for a comfortable pregnancy experience...bigger underwear, fruit scented body wash, and an electric toothbrush.

Sadly, my gut has grown at an alarmingly fast pace. I presume, because I have not gained weight, that it is all of my normal natural fat stores being pushed upward and outward to make room (at least that's what I hope it is). I had become, effectively, sausaged in my normal underwear. And in an effort to shake off all bad karma, I decided that NEW underwear was necessary rather than using those left from my last less-than-successful pregnancy. But the idea of finding maternity underwear in my size...well...let's just say it can be incredibly depressing.

The boys were troopers...nary a complaint between them as I stood staring at the wall of underwear, alarmed that nothing seemed right in my size (unless I wanted to go for the cotton granny underwear that doubles as a parachute...for two). As I was ready to wander off, incredibly disappointed, I saw a package of three that I thought would work...and another directly behind them. SIX pair of underwear! Surely this was too good to be true. Turns out, the joke's on me. It was too good to be true. The underwear nearly fits me NOW. There's a little room for growth...but not enough to last me the spring and summer. Heaven help me, I'm going to have to shop for BIGGER underwear. Anyone have Omar the Tent Maker's number handy?

So after the underwear adventure, we headed over to health and beauty where I was unable to find a scent of body wash that didn't make me gag. And I tried them all. There I was in Super K, smelling body wash and gagging. Pleasant picture, huh? But the thing is, I'm getting desperate. I must shower...and I just don't think a warm water rinse without soap is going to cut it.

Empty-handed from the body wash search, I headed over to the electric toothbrushes. My preference, a sonic toothbrush, was priced way too far out of my price range. $70...for a toothbrush?!?! I had one several years ago...but I dropped it on the tile floor and it konked out on me. I could just kick myself now for being so clumsy. Anyway...I found some cheap spin brushes (I think they're disposable...but I'm not quite sure...maybe you can buy replacement heads...I didn't pay that much attention). I foolishly jumped at the "try me" option on the front of the Oral B spinbrush. Let's see how this puppy works...cool...now how do you shut it off...it won't shut off...oh my heck...here you turn it off. As my husband was struggling to figure out how to turn off the spin brush he chuckled and said, "There's a blog post in here somewhere."

So there ya go...a blog post from the fat smelly girl who can't operate a toothbrush.