How in the heck am I supposed to stop being jealous of other moms...moms with more than one child? Does it get better when you have another baby yourself? What if I never do? How do I relate to other moms when I just want to scream at them?
Seriously...I hear about how tired they are, or how confused they are, or what "normal" problems they have with their kids and I want to throw things and scream...I want to smash something to bits. I want to rant and rave and lecture about how damn lucky they are that their kids are ALIVE to have these problems. But I can't do that. I can't be that person.
So I sit here silently and think it when I really just want to stop thinking it. I'm so worried that I will never again be able to be friends with moms who have more than one child. I feel like my heart is broken in two pieces and I can't put it back together. I'm trying desperately to put a good face on it. Moving on, you might call it...moving forward. But I hate myself for thinking these things.
And it does seem limited to moms with more than one kid, so it is clearly jealousy over what I feel I was cheated out of. I have no problems with moms with one child. What is wrong with me? Have I become that petty? And how do I change back? Why does this have to be so hard?