Monday, November 14, 2005

A comment on comments

Please don't apologize for commenting. That anyone takes the time to read my ramblings still amazes me. That anyone takes the time to actually comment is more helpful than you can ever know. It makes me feel less...alone. It gives me something by which to measure my insanity...just to see if I'm on track for a white jacket sooner or later than I anticipate.

As to the comments about God and his plan...

I suppose it's supposed to be some comfort that people believe Alex is in heaven or that his death has some meaning or purpose.

It's just not as comforting as you would think...when all I have of my baby is a cold headstone and a box of momentos.

7 comments:

lauralu said...

i feel ya

Dana said...

No, I imagine it's not. I'm sorry. : (

Heather said...

I wouldn't think so either. ((((((HUGS))))))

deadbabymama said...

No damn comfort at all. In that, as in many other things, you are not alone.

Sarah said...

Hi- Just wanted to let you know i wrote some more in my comments section in response to what you wrote... I'm saving reading your blog for lunch... you always have a lot written that is thought provoking and I felt like i couldn't just do a "quick read" to see how you're doing...

Lorem ipsum said...

Cold comfort, literally.

My mom tells the story of a cousin who had something like seven stillbirths. (Looking back, she probably had a unicornate uterus - they were full-term but very small - and eventually did have a healthy, live baby.) At the time of the first, my grandfather sat with her and said quietly, 'I know, Kid... we've been there too.' (My grandparents lost their first child at birth.) THAT is the kind of comfort that is needed and appreciated, a soft 'I know' from someone who DOES know.

I've always hated at funerals when people say, 'He's in a better place' or 'It's God's will.' How do WE know that? And yes, it may be a better place or what God wants, but the better place for us is to have our loved one here, and that is what WE want. God has the rest of eternity for the remainder of it.

Lisa P. said...

Can I apologize for not commenting?? it's not personal, it's less blogging at work, which is a good thing since it means I'm actually focusing...

I wouldn't think it would be very comforting, at all. And though I haven't said so previously I think you are doing a remarkable job at dealing with this, your grief work. It is work, you know. Remember that and try not to be so hard on yourself.