Friday, October 21, 2005

I need opinions

Here is where I ask for a favor. I want honest opinions...no holds barred.

We received a letter from the lawyer. The nurse practitioner thinks there MAY be a case there, but recommended it be reviewed by an OB/GYN for an "official" opinion. The cost of the nurse's opinion was $500, which the law firm paid. The cost of the OB/GYN's opinion is $1500, of which they would like us to pay $1000. If the OB thinks there is no case, we are out $1000. If the OB thinks there is a case, we will pay nothing more...but we could still be out $1000 if we lose the case. I could do alot with $1000 and am thinking it's a lot of money for no guarantees. I was all ready to fire off a letter thanking the attorney for his time, but then I got to thinking I owe it to all of us, Alex included, to find out for sure. I mean, what IF there IS a case? Who else is going to step up and hold these people accountable for their failure to meet standards of care? What I said before still holds true...I don't want ANYONE else to lose their baby because they went to this doctor who couldn't be bothered to take the time to pay attention.

What would you do if you were me?

As an aside, I do not have the energy or the willpower to "shop around." It's this or nothing. I'm not emotionally capable of anything more at this point.

Thanks.

13 comments:

Lorem ipsum said...

I would do it. Even if you have to eat rice and beans for two months, I'd do it. This is for your lost child, and your peace of mind. You will never get your child back, but you can get answers that otherwise might haunt you for the rest of your life.

I have plenty of regrets in my life, as I'm sure you do yours. Don't let this be one of them.

Anam Cara said...

I agree with Lorem. I also had a lawyer look at my medical records and was told I probably had a case, but I didn't follow up. It is a long story why. But I regret it now. Everyday I wish I did, for my own peace of mind if nothing else. It just sucks that it costs so much, but it might just be what you need. I know only you can decide what is right for you and your family. Good luck with your decision.

Heather said...

I agree. You will always wonder the "what ifs" if you don't do it.

Julie said...

I also agree. Knowing what financial hardship that would place on my own family, it is a tough call. But i think in the end, you will be glad you went as far as you could.

MB said...

I would totally do it. Regardless of the outcome, I would have to know that I did everything I could to try and hold them accountable for what they did (or didn't do).

kate said...

I would do it too....one less thing to regret not doing, if nothing else. At least you will *know*. I hate that this is even an issue for you, and for anyone...

Sweet Coalminer said...

Why don't you set up a fund that we can help fund so you get your opinion?

Julie said...

Hey that's not a bad idea. A lady at the college has been trying to adopt for years, and finally got approval for a child in south america; people started pitching in little bits here and there to help out with the funding. Anybody know how to get the ball rolling?

Anam Cara said...

Sweet coalminer's idea is great! I would love to donate to the fund!

NervousKitty said...

From reading what you've written, I can tell that you would regret it if you didn't do it. I think you should...for Alex, and for your own peace of mind.

And I like Sweet Coalminer's idea - I'd definitely help with that!

gabesmama said...

Tell me where to send a check and I will contribute. I know you are not asking for money, but searching for the truth is something that I want to help with. I think you should do it. If you believe there was negligence, then you need to do it, if you can and if you want to. I think (in theory) that I would if it were me.

cat said...

Sorry this comment is so late... just catching up with you.

You may want to consider your motivations for a suit. Our lawyer counciled us when we considered a law suit with the OB and misdiagnosis. You most likely have a case. So the question is do you believe that the suit will help you heal? It will bring you money but our lawyer cautioned us that if we were doing it to feel better that it might not help with that at all and in his experience it sometimes left couples feeling worse, richer... but worse. In the end we realized our goal was to punish the OB and that the OB probably would never even know we were filing suit. The insurance company would know and settle most likely and the emotional healing we wanted and changes we wanted from it might never happen. Your situation is different everyone's is and you have to follow your heart here. I guess I am trying to say pick apart your reasons. Will the system really change from your efforts? If you feel it will and you will get the answers you want as well as affecting others lives go for it. If you feel you might only get a settlement from the insurance company then is it worth it?

Sorry for the long post but I would hate to see you go through all this and be hurt more. You deserve closure and answers. You deserve so much more.

msfitzita said...

I'm late offering my advice (I'm sorry - time just seems to be racing by these days) but here it is anyway. I'd do it if at all possible. For yourself, for future patients, for Alex. I'm normally not a "slap 'em with a lawsuit" kind of gal, but this isn't a normal situation. This is, in fact, quite extraordinary. If this helps you find some peace, it's worth every penny no matter what the outcome.

Lots of (((((((((HUGS))))))))) and I hope you keep us posted.