Friday, September 02, 2005

Thankful for disaster?

I am apparently one of those people now. I'm thankful for someone else's suffering, because it gives me relief from my own. I'm not thankful for the actual pain and loss, for I truly would never wish something truly hurtful on another human being regardless of how much I dislike them. But I've realized I'm now one of those people who say, "Thank God it didn't happen to me, because I don't know how I would survive something like that." How utterly insensitive...how painfully ignorant...how luckily insulated I am.

But NOW I am able to accept those people who so easily said, "Life goes on." It does, doesn't it? Life goes on and other people face worse things every single day. It doesn't make me miss my baby any less...it just gives me some perspective. It makes me realize how small I am in the grand scheme. I'm no able to appreciate that I can feel sad, but it's not an all-consuming sadness that made me unable to function.

I saw a story about a pregnant woman who left her New Orleans home to get help for her five-year-old who was having an asthma attack. While she was swimming through the water for help, she went into labor. She was rescued and airlifted to a hospital where she delivered her baby. She has no idea what happened to her five-year-old. THAT would be debilitating. THAT would be something I'm not sure I could handle.

So while I'm not considering myself "lucky," by any means, I think I've found some of my thankfulness again. I only hope I don't say something stupid and reveal that I'm one of those people.

4 comments:

Julie said...

omg I saw the story of that pg woman that went to get help for her 5 year old too. I SOBBED. I mean I really really lost it. I think that goes back to that family who's little girl (Morgan) that was abducted that was on Extreme Makeover. How could you live your life without KNOWING. I just truely can't imagine the torture.

Jill said...

There was a story like that from the tsunami. An Australian family on holiday. The mother couldn't hold both her 4 and 2 year old and let go of the 4 year old. Another father was holding his 9 month old, was hit by another wave of water and was only holding her clothes when he resurfaced. It is so far beyond the comprehension of anyone. And there will be so many stories like that in the end:(

And yeah, you ARE grateful that it isn't you - how can you not be? You have a child and you can't help but wonder how much worse things would be if you were made to let go of that child for the sake of the other. Thank god I don't know the first thing about that experience.

Lisa P. said...

Catherine, I just read on CNN that friends of that mother took the 5-yr old to the Astrodome, and they will be reunited soon. Thank God.

Catherine said...

Thank you Lisa! I've literally had nightmares about what could have happened to him. I'm so happy that there is good news.