I should have paid more attention. With my first baby I had journals and baby books to record everything...My favorite foods, my aches and pains, the things that would make the baby move. With Alex, I didn't do any of that.
I'm told it's quite common for the second child to have fewer momentos and fewer photos. I'm told it's normal. I'm told that women regret not having that stuff later on in life and they do their best to fill in the blanks in the baby book before their second child turns 30. But there is no baby book. There is no pregnancy journal. And it seems a waste to try to do it now, when it is all marred by the knowledge that there is no later-in-life opportunities to fill in the blanks...when some of the memories are already smoothed around the edges by the grief that chased them down and swallowed them up.
Why did I take it for granted? Why did I take Alex for granted? Because he was the second child, I thought all that stuff was less important than the time I spent with him "in the moment." I figured I would have time to play catch up later. Little did I know those oh-so-important moments would pass and I would be left with nothing but a fading memory.