Today I got into a philosophical discussion with a fellow lawyer. He's in his mid-fifties and struggling with the meaning of life. As you get older, he told me, you find that there are only two things that matter...time...and people.
He bills a lot of hours and therefore has no real life outside of his office. He said he started to consider, on his fiftieth birthday, that his life was more than half over and he wasn't where he wanted to be. He hasn't spent his time well and he doesn't see himself able to spend the rest of his time well. I thought that was a darn shame. With no real obstacles around you, the only justification for such an attitude is money. He claims he spends his money on his son and his fiancee. I don't know him well enough to know if that is entirely true. But if it is, isn't it sad that he spends his entire lifetime pursuing the almighty dollar for someone else. I mean, if he was spending it on himself, maybe I could understand it.
And people. Well, I think we all know where I stand on this one. People are the MOST important thing in my life. You know, shortly before Alex died, I filled out one of those email forward surveys for my mom. It asked me what my greatest fear was and I replied, "That something bad would happen to someone I love." Alex's death didn't bring with it any great realization...I already knew what was important to me. Unfortunately, knowing that people are important doesn't protect them from bad things happening to them.
I guess that's why this conversation irritated me so much. I didn't have a chance to deal any extra time with Alex. I think everyone should fix any time problems you may have...that way if something happens to one of the people in your life, you won't have any regrets concerning the amount of time you spent with them.