Friday, July 01, 2005

Questions and Answers

Well, my OB/GYN called with the final autopsy results. She shared them over the phone...this woman has a lot to learn about how to deal with this sort of thing. Luckily I was having a "good" day and handled it relatively well.

From Alex's final autopsy...

There was evidence of an intercranial hemmorrhage. That can't happen once the baby is dead. So it is most likely what killed Alex.

Mercifully, I have an answer...sort of. We still don't know why the hemmorrhage happened. There are suppositions and educated guesses revolving around his large size. But it is just as possible that he could have been born early and then dropped dead. Nobody knows for sure.

It is comforting to know that Alex most likely did not suffer a long-term illness while I was oblivious. Also, I have been told that based on my recollection of events, and because his eyes were closed, it is likely Alex died in his sleep. It is something to me to know that he did not feel pain and was happy up until the end.

Now maybe the nightmares will stop.

1 comment:

Holley said...

Big Hugs.

I'm glad you have some sort of answer now. I hope this means you can stop blaming yourself on some level. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this at all.

I'm glad your mood is hopeful today (as opposed to last night's gelatinous state).

And now.... It is time to find a new doctor.

Love you,