Monday, July 18, 2005

Fast Forward

Steve and I have both decided that this summer would be much better on fast forward. It's hot and sticky, we have no money, and we have no baby...let's just get it over with and pretend it never happened shall we? At least when the snow flies we won't have hot and sticky to deal with.

As for the money stuff...we found out we have to pay $200 for my hospital stay deductible. You know, I wouldn't object if I actually had a baby to show for it. But it just seems wrong somehow to have to pay for a labor and delivery room under these circumstances.

But back to the time fast forward...

I was vacuuming the other day and realized that we have four hooks on our mantel. We went out last Christmas and bought new stockings because the mice had gotten to ours in the basement. I guess we put the cart before the horse buying four of them. I've already told Steve, who completely agrees, that we're going to give them away and get three new ones. But now that I think about it, I just don't know. Maybe for just this year we'll leave them the way they are. Whatever happens, I really hope that's the last thing we "planned" concerning Alex that will ambush us this year. I really don't think I can deal with anymore "should have beens" popping up.

Even on fast forward, time tortures us.


Julie said...

Hold on to that stocking. We put Caleb's up with Evan's last year, and we put things in it to take to his grave. Then after the presents were opened, we went to the cemetary and put the little toys on his grave. I hate that there isn't more we can do for him, but I also wanted his stocking right up there with his brother's. Just wait and see what you think when Christmas rolls around. (((((Cathy)))))) I wish you didn't have to deal with all the should have been's too.

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry. I know what you're saying - we lost our baby the day after Christmas and oddly, in the morning, we were celebrating my halfway through pregnancy by shopping for holiday clearance baby stuff. I'm hoping there are no ambushes for either of us in the future.

lauralu said...

my labor/n/delivery co-pay was $250, and i still haven't paid it, on principle. i'm protesting paying for something i didn't get. i'll pay when i get my money's worth. or when they send me a nasty letter.

Tori25 said...

This post touched me for both reasons you posted. I actually had to joke about my hospital stay rather than cry about it. I spent 6 1/2 weeks in the hospital to have a 165,000 bill and then a 15,000 bill for delivery. Thankfully I don't have to pay them. But I did say that any mom who leaves the hospital without a baby should get free lyposuction. Only my good friends can laugh at that with me in a time of grief.
As for the stocking, we have matching stockings and weren't sure what we were going to do when Aidan came along, buy new ones I guess. So then suddenly we weren't really faced with this decision. We did put up a tiny blue stocking for him because I wanted him to "be there" with us. My children bought him gifts at their school christmas shop and we put them at the cemetary. I think when Christmas comes you'll just "know" what is right for your family, and as Sam gets older, he'll let you know what he wants to do too.