Saturday, June 04, 2005

Unfinished business

The trim sits in the barn, painted with one coat of paint and collecting cobwebs. It was supposed to go from a horrible Pepto Bismol pink to a calming soft green for our Alex's nursery. The edges definitely need touched up because you can still see the streaks of pink through the green. But the pieces haven't been moved off the sawhorses since the day before we found out Alex was gone...when my husband put that one coat of paint on them.

Some of you may remember what a struggle it was to get him to get that trim off the walls. Months of, "I'll get to it," and, "I really have to get that done," caused me so much irritation. I was known to say things like, "This house will never be ready by the time Alex arrives." Now, I look at that unfinished trim and wonder about all the things that seemed so important.

I could, quite honestly, take all that half-painted trim and toss it down the ravine at the back of our property and buy new. Or I could finish painting it the green color we had picked out for Alex. Or I could run to Lowe's and buy myself an entirely different color and repaint the whole damn room, trim included. But I can't decide if I want to put it together the way it should have been put together (minus the nursery decorations and furnishings)...or if I want to create something entirely different now. Do I want to be reminded of what should have been every time I look in that room?

I just don't know what to do about all this unfinished business.

It's a pretty color, and it goes with the carpet...but I can't help but think it was Alex's color. It was for Alex that I wanted that trim painted.

But there is no Alex in that room.

So the trim just sits in the barn, painted with one coat of paint and collecting cobwebs.


Julie said...

I have no suggestion for what to do with that trim. We left Caleb's room alone. There wasn't any baby stuff left in the house because my dh had it all removed before we got home from the hospital, but it was STILL CAleb's room. Usually the door stayed shut, not sure why though, it didn't help much. I think maybe you should just go cover that trim with a sheet or something to protect it from the cobwebs, and just leave it alone for a little while. It's still so soon. ((((((hugs)))))

Julie said...

Nicholas' room sits as-is, with all of his things piled up in there collecting dust. Maybe, just maybe, we can still put it to its intended use someday. Until then, the door stays shut. {{{more hugs}}}