Sunday, June 19, 2005

Dear Steve...

You know I'm not much on public displays of affection, but I wanted to take this time to tell you how much I love you. I love you to the moon and back, sweetheart.

I know this Father's Day isn't what you had hoped for, and I am so sorry I can't make all your dreams come true. There will be so much opportunity this Father's Day to mourn what you have lost, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate all the blessings you have brought to our life together.

You have been my rock for the past five and a half weeks...but you were my rock long before that. You keep me grounded, but give me room to dream (horse farm anyone?). You take care of me when my body is sick or my heart is broken. You laugh and play with our Sam so that he knows the joy of childhood and the love of an amazing father. You teach him the value of hard work and responsibility. We both love you very much.

And Alex. I know he can't be here with you and that makes you dream of all that should have been. Please also take a moment to remember what was. Remember the happiness...the anticipation...and how he blessed our lives for the short time he was here. You know I have my own crisis of faith to deal with, but I truly believe he is with your Dad in heaven and they are having quite the Father's Day celebration. I hope that is some small consolation to you when you miss him today and every day.

We can make it. I know we can make it. You have given me the strength to see that. And we will build a happy life for ourselves and our Sam. If we have to start from scratch...then we'll do it. Because you are a wonderful father and a truly amazing husband.

Happy Father's Day Steve.

Here's to the future...and the past.

Me & Sam

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