Sunday, June 05, 2005

Ambushed

Well...not really ambushed. Just another one of those hidden surprises waiting for me when I least expect it.

Last summer I was using one of those online fertility tracking software programs. At first it was more for giggles than anything else, since I was so sure I would get pregnant on the first try. Well, after a couple months, when the dream didn't automatically happen, temping and charting became a sort of obsession. For the first time in my life I was really paying attention to what was happening in my body. Why I didn't learn my lesson and keep paying close attention all through this pregnancy, I don't know.

This morning I was trying to get into a chat program used by other stillborn mommies. For some reason, it will not work with my version of Netscape. I'm on a Mac, so it doesn't surprise me when things don't work right. I've learned to adapt. This time I decided to try Internet Explorer. Got the chat program to work, no problems (yay). But then I innocently clicked on Favorites at the top of the browser and there it was...a link to my chart.

I found out I was pregnant on October 7, 2004.

I have got to learn not to look at this stuff.

1 comment:

Julie said...

I was always bad about looking at stuff like that. Just couldn't help myself honestly. I think it was me NEEDING to break down and that was a good way to get it all started. I still have the tendency to put myself through unecessary torture. Once again, all normal my friend. ((((hugs))))

Mom

My mom insisted on living independently. She wanted to live in the two-story house she and my dad built in the 70s, despite the fact that da...