Sunday, June 05, 2005


Well...not really ambushed. Just another one of those hidden surprises waiting for me when I least expect it.

Last summer I was using one of those online fertility tracking software programs. At first it was more for giggles than anything else, since I was so sure I would get pregnant on the first try. Well, after a couple months, when the dream didn't automatically happen, temping and charting became a sort of obsession. For the first time in my life I was really paying attention to what was happening in my body. Why I didn't learn my lesson and keep paying close attention all through this pregnancy, I don't know.

This morning I was trying to get into a chat program used by other stillborn mommies. For some reason, it will not work with my version of Netscape. I'm on a Mac, so it doesn't surprise me when things don't work right. I've learned to adapt. This time I decided to try Internet Explorer. Got the chat program to work, no problems (yay). But then I innocently clicked on Favorites at the top of the browser and there it was...a link to my chart.

I found out I was pregnant on October 7, 2004.

I have got to learn not to look at this stuff.

1 comment:

Julie said...

I was always bad about looking at stuff like that. Just couldn't help myself honestly. I think it was me NEEDING to break down and that was a good way to get it all started. I still have the tendency to put myself through unecessary torture. Once again, all normal my friend. ((((hugs))))