I feel like it's all slipping away. The harder I try to maintain control, the worse it gets.
Quarantine #1 due to the 7th grade basketball team.
My mother is aging and slipping into her own world where we cannot reach her.
My "adult" son failed out of his first semester at college.
There's a global pandemic and my social 13-year-old son isn't handling isolation well.
My job is in jeopardy because I don't have the right political affiliation.
My husband is a saint who takes care of so much...and yet I can't stop finding fault (only a very small portion of which is actually deserved).
Quarantine #2 due to 18-year-old's poor decision making skills.
Christmas is postponed for, at best, 14 days. At worst...forever.
That feeling of death stalking me is back. The fear is back.
I'd like to say I'm at peace no matter what happens. But that would be a lie.
If something bad happens to my family (again) I don't know what I will do.
The worst feeling is that I could've tried harder...done better...been kinder...seen more...worried less...
1 comment:
Hey, I wish I could come over there and give you a great big hug but even if I weren't across an ocean I could not do it due to this damn pandemic. So here is a virtual hug. Reading your blog helped me many years ago when I lost my baby. I'm sorry things are shit at the moment, here's hoping they will look up in the future.
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