Thursday, October 27, 2011

Making a difference

I struggle with what to say here when so many people I know are facing serious life issues. All at once, the belly-button gazing that was at one time so fun (and then became therapeutic) all seems silly now.

Cancer, mental illness, death, divorce, grief...if you're lucky only one of these will grab you by the hair and throw you down on the ground and stomp all over you at a time. And, if you're really unlucky, more than one (or the same one multiple times) will gang up and beat the living snot out of you until you have no choice but to surrender and ride it out until whatever happens...happens.

So what can I talk about that makes a bit of difference? Nothing. Today I wrote a shopping list that includes candy corn, light bulbs and paper towels. And it seems that's about all the "important" writing I will do today.

So I will instead encourage my foster dog to be sweet and snuggle...or crochet caps for cancer patients...or make memorial bracelets for deadbabymamas. Something to make me feel like I am making a difference to someone. Something to compensate for the navel gazing done here.

Later, I will eat macaroni and cheese and decorate pumpkins with my children. And hope (however unrealistically) that the bad stuff stays away from them forever.

4 comments:

Kathy McClellan said...

Speaking as one of the folks dealing with one of the above, I can tell you I totally appreciate light topics and funny conversation. It helps put things into perspective. So in that light, I'll share what I overheard yesterday...

"What do you do if you are at Target near Halloween and have to buy candy and razor blades at the same time?"

For some reason, it just made me laugh.

JoyAndSorrow said...

I just want to say that you do make a difference. Just sharing your story IS making a difference. Your blog was one of the few that I found myself going back to (could never "follow" because I was clueless and didn't even know what that meant at the time) in the early days before I had a blog of my own. So here's to the bad stuff staying away - we can hope, can't we?
A belated thank you for unknowingly helping me through the worst months of my life.

Ryan said...

I feel it too. You're not alone. Far from it. I appreciate the shopping list. Reminds us its here everyday. It's all in our head, eh?

msfitzita said...

If it helps, knowing that you were decorating pumpkins and making mac & cheese is cozy and comforting to me. I don't always need enlightenment or serious philosophical discussion. Sometimes I just want to be reminded that there are happy, sweet moments still to be had no matter how hard life can be.

So thank you for that.