When asked what I've done during the last eight years or so, here was my response...
Well...I'll be honest...it's been a pretty rough ride. Started my job when Sam was 15 months and am still there. Planted a garden. Lost Alex and Travis. Planted more garden. Had Myles. Joined the Board of Directors of the local Animal Protective League (that's where I spend my "spare time"). Lost another baby. Let all the gardens go to crap. Still in the same house. Behind on mortgage payments and other accumulated debt. Haven't lost any weight. Haven't done anything earth-shattering. I have started to play with the camera again for the first time since college. Basically...the world keeps turning and I just keep hanging on for dear life. One positive thing to come out of the past few years is my relationship with Steve. We've been through it all together and have come out of it more mature and...I don't know...together.
I think I need to shake some things up. I sound...sad. And I guess I am. Can you blame me?
Speaking of sad...I was updating my list of grief resources when (about a third of the way in) I thought, "Whoa...how did this happen? How did this become my life?" Of course, I know HOW. As life goes...it just happened. But it truly makes me long for the days when I thought I had the world by the tail and I foolishly believed I could do or be anything I wanted.
I suppose it's the time of year for poking at old scars and seeing if they still hurt.